General Chat

Couldn't have put it better myself Lynda! Allie x

I think that in this case the feeling is that there is the suspicion that he is being spiteful as it really is her only chance to have children. Whether or not men like it or not there really is a primeval urge for most women to have children and the feeling is that he is denying her of this opportunity having previously agreed to her having his baby. I would have massive sympathy with a man who finds himself in a similar situation, as in the case of the man who attempted to prevent his girlfriend from aborting his baby a few years back, but the fact cannot be changed that child bearing has a major effect on both a womans body and mind so she shouldn't be forced to do so against her wishes. However, surrogate mother issue, yes. I think he would be intitled to do that though I haven't thought it through totally but that is my gut instinct. From what I can gather about the case she has offered to either give him partial access no access or whatever it would take if only he would give her the chance to have the child. I am sure legally his role could be defined in a way that would suit both their purposes.

thanks allie! marie something like a pre-nup you mean? peter well said!!!

I suppose a pre nup is the best way to define it. Things have moved on tremendously in recent years and the law will have to find a means to catch up.

very difficult. i think my new partner would be devastated if my ex- was to bear my child while we were to start our own family. derek

Selfish g*t! If she hadn't had treatment he'd have knocked her up and still done a runner so whats the odds if she wants the child now instead of months ago? I wish the law would provide a loop hole where by the woman (or man where appropriate) can claim the embryo provided that thay sign a leagaly bound agreement that says the father will not me named on the birth certificate and will not be liable to pay any child support. This has come up were the father has died. Because he is unable to give his consent at the time when the embryos are defrosted the mum can't have the children.

But Derek if you had already donated the sperm then surely it's academic as you had already given your consent to having children with your ex?

Rather than just add my opinion to the thread I thought I would read the facts of the case first. You can do the same too: http://news.bbc(.)co.uk/1/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/07_03_06_echr.pdf It didn't alter my opinion, but I'm a bloke. Since when did anyone have a right to a family? Some do, some make do, some do without.

till death do us part,in sickness or in health,though i`ve never been married. this agreemnt is always being broken. they both signed this consent agreement believing the above. if you and your ex divorced would you sleep with your ex to give him another child,especially if you was with someone else. derek

derek thats the difference these people dont have to sleep together the embryo's have already been made what right does this man have to wanna destroy them along with his ex's happiness?

Well said Linda

sorry marie feel like im taking over your thread!! xxx things like this just make me mad!!

No really not at all. You go on ahead. I feel strongly about this and I am just grateful I am not the only one screaming!!!!! I am off to bed now but I would be happy to continue with this tomorrow should anyone want to continue. Thanks for an interesting evening to you all. xx

the babys are there it would be like not givin then a chance. unfair realy unfair let them breath they are his babies has he no heart.

Having had a Ivf baby i can do nothing but feel sorry for this lady as you cannot understand what it feels like to want a child soo much, i am not in the same position as her but the need was there. I had 3 children to my husband and after a tubel tie 12 years later i wanted another, the determination was so overwhelming, after so much grief in our family and a lot of money spent we had a baby boy who is now 4 years old and is a blessing to us.

That's it though Patricia isn't it? Babies are a blessing. This baby is wanted in the same way yours is and was. How can anyone deny this lady the right to have the same joy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marie, I cannot understand why you are 'screaming'. I understand the desire to have family. It is not however a situation that every woman achieves, despite advances in medical knowledge. In 2000 when the two individuals were a couple and faced with the unfortunate woman's situation they decided to maintain the option of a future pregnancy by storing some of her eggs. For technical reasons the clinic advised that fertilised eggs rather that ova are frozen and recovered more successfully. Consequently, the two individuals, (then a couple) consented to store fertilised ova, - embryos, so that, and this is the critical point, if THEY decided at some point in the future that THEY wanted a child the embryos (or some of them) would be implanted. Pete

but the morals are the same. i was under the influence that you brought children into this world in a loving caring two parent family.there is no longer two loving caring parents before implantation. i feel sorry for the lady i really do,as my aunt is in the same predicament. but i would feel more for the child growing up knowing the father did`nt want it to go ahead. derek

I think she should be able to use the embryo. It's a shame she can't become pregnant just because of that man's spite.

Pete Generally, from a female point of view ,any eggs that yield a potential pregnancy, are already, mentally, a child. I don't like to play the female card but that is just the way it is. He knew when he donated his sperm to the cause that it was her last attempt at motherhood. Withdrawing permission to continue, in my opinion is just cruelty.