General Chat

Where do you stand on the story in the news at the moment regarding the couple who had embryos frozen when they were together, after the woman had cancer treatment.???? They split up, and he has decided that he no longer gives his consent for them to be used. Leaving her childless.

Hi Marie I think it's just very sad. I feel very sorry for the woman but I can also appreciate that the man doesn't want children of his created from a relationship that has long finished. It's a hard fact of life that not all of us were meant to have children and we have to accept that and move on with our lives. I hope this judgement helps her to accept that this battle is over and that she can begin to live her life again with altered expectations.

I am inclined to agree to with dawn although I can see it from his point of view, I feel desperately sorry for her that it was her one chance of having children and now it has been taken away. He did agree at the beginning and I just feel that should be enough.

been there - My ex made the same decision - excuse me if i now think of him as an uttely selfish bastard. he has two sons, i have nothing

I agree with the decision made in court however upsetting the outcome is. I do feel though that if she is that desperate to be a mother that there are plenty of children that would love to be cared for. I personally find the the whole subject of IVF quite difficult and I worry about the consequences of man meddling with nature.

Egg from woman, sperm from man, frozen as a embryo. woman wants embryo , man doesnt WHO GAVE MAN THE LAST WORD? Pippa - doesnt everyone that undergoes IVF find it worrying? when its your only hope, you have to go with it

that's the problem with science and medicine these days. There's always someone who is going to get hurt. If this poor lady can't have a baby its like another kick in the teeth for her, although I feel for hubbie. Claire

Jess I know how desperate I was to have children when I suffered numerous miscarriages before my precious daughters were born. As soon as I knew they existed, even as cells, they were people to me. My heart goes out to you and this lady who have had to tolerate such heart ache. I hope this lady's appeal works. I hope that your ex and this man in the news get the bad karma that is due to them.

This is making me so cross! He can have any number of childen. Surely by consenting to create the embryos in the first place, he also consented to have children. After all, if they had had children before she was ill, they would be in a single parent family now, so what's the difference. I feel SO ANGRY about this - what has happened to women's rights? Allie

I have a lot of sympathy for the woman but my understanding of this case is that the embryos were frozen before her treatment & that British law dictates that the both the prospective parents have to agree to the embryos being brought to life. I don't know what sort of people either the man and the woman involved are but I can imagine how much I would be against my ex-wife having my child now - it wouldn't be the financial aspect but that the time, place & circumstances would be wrong.

David. maybe from a mans perspective its different and that is why the law is an ass. if your ex and you were really in that situation would you really deny her the chance to have a child if it was the only chance ever, just because it wasnt right for you?What about right for her, why doesnt that count?

Jess To be honest, I really don't know. I've thought about it a lot today because I think it's such a sad situation. It isn't that I think that the woman's right doesn't count - I see it as an equal thing and that if it had been the man who had become infertile and wanted a child I wouldn't think it was right for the woman to have to go through with it. My other concern would be with the child - there are enough messed up people in the world already who have grown up with the hurt of being unwanted by at least one parent and personally, I don't like to see the law condoning adding to the number. It's very unfair but the way I see it not all of us are able to be biological parents and we have to find a way of coping with it.

Such a difficult situation. i feel sorry for the woman, I can't help feeling that the man is just being spiteful, on the other hand he would be responsible for upkeep of the child and having split with the Mum, that would be difficult too. I count myself lucky that I have two healthy children and three gorgeous grandchildren . I am truly blessed , and I know it . Sunny

Such a sad situation. Can't commit to an opinion as I don't know the facts. becx

I agree so much with you Jess. Had a heated discussiong with hubby about this - it seems that in this case the male point of view is completely at odds with the female. They do not realise how much of a loss this is to a woman. I've been so lucky in that I have a long and happy marriage and two wonderful children, but I know people who have been unable to have children, or have had many miscarriages (I've had one, and that was devastating enough!). I don't think men have the first idea of what this means to us. Allie

I believe he agreed to making the babies in the first place & under normal circumstances they would now be here but instead they are in a fridge somewhere. If they had frozen sperm & eggs separately I would agree with his right to say no but the babies are made & in that case I don't feel he has the right to say no. Vivienne

Allie I think it's a fairly silly and insensitive thing to say that men don't understand about not being able to have children - but perhaps my personal experiences of life are different to yours. Do you think that if the man had become infertile through cancer treatment the woman should have been made to have the child?

David I think you know that there is no comparison as he does not have to carry the child for nine months with all the trauma that comes with it.

Marie It is different - the woman has to carry the child but I think some of the women on this thread are being very unfair to men as if fathers of children don't have emotional connection with their child. Supposing that a prospective father was made infertile and the prospective mother didn't want to have the child, would it be right for the law to allow the embryo to be implanted in a surrogate mother?

This man needs to understand that he already handed his 'stuff' over there fore already gave consent!! judge should say its a bit late now mate!! next men will be trying to get women to abort just cause 'they canged thier minds'! jess is right hes a selfish bast**d!!