General Chat

again

don' t worry it ain't me ya hurting

silly beggers !

EDIT
it was called So who nicked me thread but is now better of this way

Hi Uzzi

Don't tell me that the Mysterious Threadsnatcher of Old Wapping Town has struck again :0))

*walks off into the swirling, sulphurous fog*

Allan

emerges from the swirling, sulphurous fog, bearing evidence of the identity of the Threadsnatcher. Just off to pass it to Inspector Lastrade of New Scotland Yard.

Sue x

emerges from the swirling, sulphurous fog, bearing evidence of the identity of the Threadsnatcher. Just off to pass it to Inspector Lastrade of New Scotland Yard.

Sue x

Hmm!!

*dons false beard and moustache*

I'll fool those idiots at the Yard!

*chuckles evilly*

Allan

Slowly puts down hookah pipe, as Mrs Hudson announces the arrival of a strange lady in scarlet, her face cunningly concealed.


"Mr Holmes" quoth she " I need your help". "My father was a tailor in old Wapping Town".

"One day his tailoring threads were snatched. From that day forth, I have been searching for any clue. When, only yesterday, I received this mysterious letter"

Out of the shadows of his medical tracts emerges Watson, the good doctor "Holmes, don't tell me that the Mysterious Threadsnatcher of Old Wapping Town has struck again ......."

Sue x

"My good doctor," replied Holmes "this Threadsnatching threatens the very fabric of society! We must again weave our magic and solve this most baffling of cases"

Holmes picked up his violin and tried once more to fiddle his expenses.

Allan

"Watson," said Holmes, "We must visit old Wapping Town"

"Why?" queried Watson.

"Because this thing could be a whole whopping lie!", exclaimed Holmes.


To be continued!!!!!!

Barbra!! Wash your mouth out with soap and water.

Oh hang on!

Thespian!!

Phew!! :0))

no good fred nappers lol

Please continue!! I am enthralled.....and pmsl!!!

Edit: Oops, ive never said that before!! Feels good tho!

Just then came a loud knocking.

Holmes opened the door in his pyjamas. ( A very strange place for a door) and there stood an old fashioned Peeler sent by Inspector Lastrade.

He whispered in Holme's ear and then turned back down the strreet, still Peeling.

"What is it?" aked the good doctor.

"Lastrade has had his men scouring ten pubs which may have been used by the suspect," replied Holmes. "The last one was the Styche in Thyme and I need you to start searching there."

Why there, Holmes?" queried Watson.

"Because if he is still in the Styche in Thyme, it will save you looking in the other nine!" responded Holmes, while muttering to himself "Idiot!!"

"Before you go, find me a Hansom Cab"

"Here! I say, Holmes I know that there are certain rumours but do you have time to spend with a handsome cad?"

'CAB!" shouted Holmes, "HANSOM CAB!"

"Oh!" responded Watson weakly , (it would have been monthly if he was any slower)

"I propose going to the Bank of England and then to the Embankment," Holmes stated, "The clues have been so obvious, that even my brilliant mind nearly missed them"

"Sorry," said Watson, "Which Clues?"

"Where is the Bank of England situated, Watson? Threadneedle Street, of course"

"And the embankment?" asked Watson

"Think of an Eygyptian lady of Greek descent"

"Not Li-Lo Lil?" asked Watson.

"No, no, no, Watson, besides she only got her colouring by coating herself in varnish"

At this point Holmes reminded Watson that in any event Lil had done a varnishing act the previous week and was nowhere to be found.

"I'm thinking of Cleopatra" mused Holmes

"Aren't we all!" responded Watson. "Wasn't she the princess bitten on her asp by a snake?"

"My dear Watson, she wasn't bitten on the asp by a snake, but bitten on the bossom by and asp."

"Ah!" said Watson. "My medical training has allowed me the knowledge that snake venom is easily removed by sucking the affected area"

"Believe me Watson, if you were bitten on the asp by a snake, you would die!!!"

"But," said Watson, "I still don't understand"

"The Needle, Watson, the needle. All the threads and the monuments are just metaphors" explained Holmes

"What's a metaphor, Holmes?"

"Well," responded Holmes, "I dont kow what others use a meta for, but mine measures the amount of gas I use"


To be continued


Allan

Thank you Carol.

Stay tuned :0))

Allan

I could realy cotton on to this fabrication.

COR COPPER THEY DIDNT NICK THE FRED
..THE FRED IS STILL AT LARGE

IN OLD LONDON TOWN

"Enough of this debate, Watson, time is of the essence!'

Holmes only paused long enough to finish his breakfast, clean his shoes, brush his teeth and take a bath.

He stood at the door of his flat and decided that taking the bath was too extreme so he left it at the front door.

At the same time he realised that he hadn't paused long enough to dress!!

That little indiscretion rectified, he tried to hail a hansom cab but, there being none about, he had to be satisfied with an ugly cab.

Holmes tapped with his cane on the ceiling panel. This was slowly opened to reveal a visage that even an extremely maternal orangutan would find hard to love.

"You rang, Sir"

Somewhat taken aback, Holmes was trying to fit a name to the face. Very Ugly came to mind

"Are you Quasimodoe?" queried Holmes

"No Sir!! I'm a full Modoe" replied the ugly ugly cab driver.

"Take me to the bank of England, and hurry," Holmes rasped and the driver cracked his whip.

Funny, thought Holmes to himself, I don't remember bringing a whip.


Allan

~~~~~~ to Dizzi and Persey

Allan

~~~~~~~~~~~~ BACK TO ALLEN

The cab drew to a halt outside that monument to British Financial nous, the Bank of England.

Holmes alighted and gave the cab driver a tip: "With a face like yours I would stay off the streets in broad daylight unless you have a brown paper bag with you!"

Having given this sage advice, Holmes entered the Bank.

Striding purposefully to the counter he asked to see the Governor.

The teller showed Holmes a painting, adding that it was a very good likeness of the man he sought.

Not for the first time that day, Holmes felt that he had either overindulged his smoking habit, or not had enough to wipe out this state of reality.

"Thank you," said Holmes through clenched teeth. "May I now see the man in person?"

Eventually, Holmes was shown into a magnificent office designed specifically to strike fear into the hearts of all those who had the temerity to ask for a loan.

The Governor, Angus M. E. McUp, was an imposing man.

He immediately imposed on Holmes and asked him to lend him a fiver until next pay day

Holmes assessed the Governor as an idiot, but an intelligent one!

The Governor stood over six-foot tall and was rather rotund. His long hair hung loosely down his back.

Holmes thought it unfortunate that there was none on the Governor's head.

Getting straight down to business, Holmes enquired whether any new new accounts had been opened recently, or any strange deposits made.

The Governor started to explain about the effete young man who was regularly seen in the bank, and his deposits were certainly strange and did not consist of money.

He added that the cleaning staff were just about at their wits end with the young man, but that their collective wits did not have far to go.

Shaking the Governor warmly by the throat, Holmes once again explained, in words of no more than two syllables, what he was interested in. Any huge deposits of threads

At last the Governor cottoned on, explaining that he had been banking all his life (Holmes, noticing the very thick glasses worn by the Governor, decided not to shake his hand after the interview) and had seen many strange items in deposit boxes. Only this very week a new box had been rented and even now was secure in the bowels of the bank.


Allan

Riveting Allen, i am loving it!!!