General Chat

Just last september my husband was admitted to hospital with suspected appendicitus, ended up being bowel cancer. After an agonising few weeks after having a stent fitted to clear the blockage he was operated on, took 7 hours, but he was given the all clear, no more trerastment necessary, although he has had a few uti's he is doing well, and back to working. Hope for us all xx

sorry to hear that gillian, youve had such a rough time, but really pleased at ohs recovery, did he have any idea? that must of been such a shock, i still remember sitting in your lovely conservatory xxx

Thought you may want to know that a very nice lady rang me Friday about my being abused by OH. She said he was a control freak and that his illness has made him realise that he will get weaker and not be in control. This is why he is trying to get rid of me and stopping me cleaning the house and removing my ornements etc. I will mull this over but it appears that the Mc millian nurses have organised a solicitor to get his affairs in order. This possibly means that I shall end up homeless, he will have won even from the grave.Elaine.

Puss. they are right to pick up on the iron. you need to get that up before the operation. Iron tablets will do it. I am always a bit low and am on permanent iron tablets Sounds daft, but the better health you are in before the op, the better you will recover Not lon now!

Robert, hope things are OK with your wife.

hello Elaine, they will find you somewhere to live, i will send you a pm, you will be rehomed if you are on a low income and it will be away from your abuser, if you are made homeless by no fault of your own the local housing have a duty. IVE COPIED AT PASTED THIS NEXT BIT X
We may consider you to be 'intentionally homeless' if you have become homeless as a result of something that you have done or failed to do, or if you have entered into an arrangement that was intended to render you homeless or threatened with homelessness.

You are not intentionally homeless if:
it was not reasonable for you to remain in your last home
you left home because of domestic violence or fear of violence
personal or money problems that you could not avoid meant you lost your home because of rent or mortgage arrears; this may be because you lost your job, had a wage cut and did not claim all the benefits you were entitled to
your home went with your job, which you lost through no fault of your own, or which you gave up for a very good reason
you lost your home because you did not know your rights, for example, you did not know that your landlord needed a court order before you had to leave
to help you.

contact your local housing authority explain the situation, but be prepaired that you are doing the right thing in your mind as things will move very quick.

the one woman i helped was working and had a baby, she was absolutly petrified of her partner, who is now dead and it wasnt me !! seriously Elaine in your own time you can leave, if your on a low wage and have rent rebate etc , when you get a permanent place to live , you can claim for help for what householde items you need its called a community Care grant, its for people from all walkes of life including people from domest6ic and mental abuse.

there is also a social fund loan which i think most people can apply for, the stuff that you cant get on the communitygrant, you could get on the loan.

elaine i hope you are ok u can pm me anytime ok, just have a really good think and if your sure you cant stay with your husband contact your local CAB, who will put you in touch with these people that can help, it would probably be a safe house but it wouldnt be that long, aqnd they woulde help you get rehomed.

PLEASE NOTE, THE INFORMATION ABOVE WILL NEED CHECKING OUT A 100%, ITS PURELY LITTLE THINGS IVE REMEMBER AND THINGS MAY HAVE CHANGED SO PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

hello jean thanks for that oh is going tomorrow to pick some tablets up, will they make a difference in a week?

Hello everyone xxx

Thanks Puss, I was talking to a friend of mine who has the same medical problem as my OH. He said he couldn't understand why he was on the tablets (hormone tabs) as well as the 3 monthly injections. His consultant said that he couldn't have both. I wonder if the amount of female hormone is screwing him up, we know all about the hormonal problems we go through and how it alters your temperement( up in the air one minute and down the next)
I wonder if his doctor has forwarded my letter to the consultant as he went for his 3 mnthly jab today and they have taken him off those tablets and prescribed some others, I will find out what they are and the side effects. He says his psa levels are up again and that he may have to see another consultant. Why won't the stupid man let me help? :-S <3 Elaine.

HYA elaine, its sole destroying when your in love with someone and want to help, i bet it could be the hormone thing, you can google and get the side affects there, is he still being unreasonable with you?
Regarding the letter s you can check with the consultants secretary, to see if they have reiceved it, ive often sent letters because i havent understood something fully so ive written and i get a reply but can take weeks, now OH comes in with so i donty need to do anything else.

back to your OH do you thin it could be the hormones, is he taking morphine tablets, they make me low and moody so ive stopped them.

how are you feeling elaine? xx <3

Puss, the tablets will start to work quicly. First thing you will notice is that our motions will be very dark, this is normal. Yuo may not feel the increased energy straight away, but it will come. Without my tablets I look as white as a sheet, I have seen healthier looking corpses, but iron soon picks me up.

Hi Puss, no he isn't on morphine, only takes paracetomol.the new tablets are Bicalutamide ( casolex) I have looked up the side effects which are virtually the same as the others. I think it's depression with the added problem of him being in control and eventually losing his control over me.
I'm ok taking each day as it comes, some are better than others. Today the sun is shining and I am free of the stomach pain for once, going to Dr's tomorrow to see if I can see another consultant about it as it is so disabling.
How are you coping bless you. You have far more problems than I do and here I am bending your ear (eyes) about me.Have to go to work now but will be on all being well this evening. Take care <3 <3 :-D

jean lol woops youve just reminded me im on them and took one.

elaine dont you dare appologise, i understand completley and i realise that we are not super human and need others to talk to wether on hear the phone or anyware, and we help each other, and dont ever feel like you cant talk, there is always someone on this thread around at some point including me.
the way i look at it is we all pay our money and can post what we want :-D so dont you dare worry about what you put, your pain is bad for you because you its hurting.

my brother is well, and he thinks everyone who has a moan is a whinger, what is really happening is unless you are suffering yourself i dont think you can judge, my oh wasnt in any pain when i was diagnosed, he didnt cope and i made him leave, he came back and i said i would talk to him and tell him what was hurting, from then on things improved, then he hurt his back again and realised the concept of pain, he had hurt his back years earlier in work, he was so sorry that he had been unreasonable.
pain can make u irrattional weepy and frustrated and those that are well and able have no idea in my opinion.

Its like losing a partner and pweople say i know how you feel unless you have been in the same situation you dont.

so from a toothache to chronic ill health you are allowed to moan. :-D :-D

Aw God bless you Puss. Today has been much better, I was asked if I wanted extra hours at school and at nearly 73 it has to be good, I feel 10ft tall and it has helped my self esteem as OH was wearing it thin. Thinking of all who are in similar situations as mine and there must be many. Elaine. <3 <3 :-D

really pleased for you it will also keep you out orf his way a bit longer, but like i said on your thread your not taking on too much xxx :-D :-D

Make sure you keep any extra money to yourself, dont put it in the housekeeping Its flattering to offered work, isnt it I was offered work at the local hospital by the matron when I was 68, and as I had not long had my mastectomy I was quite taken aback. Not having my own transport I reluctantly turned it down. Nice to be asked though. I had worked with her before, so she must have thought I was some use.

yes jean they must have thought of you as being the best candidate, and elaine jean write you must keep the money your self, my little job is only a few hours its a charity for dogs donkeys and retired grehounds, i love that few hours of banter with the others it gives me and oh a break too, i dont get paid but i dont care , its just a bit of independence. x

hello everyone how are you all xxx :-D

went for post op check up, i was panicking thinking it was results so early, but the consultant did say that they got all the abnormal cells as he could see, the surrounding tissue looked fine but he took a biopsy just in case, the other biopsys is a waiting game.

the polyp i had removed is very comon and very rareely cancerous but they check it anyway.

im still sore but feeling better , just back home is enough to make you feel better. thanks for all the emails and well wishes truly lovely xxx :-D

Hi Puss.
I am happy that all went well and you are feeling OK..
Best Wishes.
Alyson xx :-)

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx

http://www.mariecurie.org.uk/

try the links if you want the right advice and suport
clicking them could just save your life
or that of somebody close to you <3 <3 <3

HI ALYSON THANKS LOVE HOWS THINGS WITH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND XXX

ELAINE I HOPE YOUR OK HAVENT SEE YOU ABOUT FOR A FEW DAYS XXXX

HELLO EVERYONE XX