General Chat

Wishing you the strength you need to cope with the days and weeks ahead, Fran. As you say time will help and the knowledge that your husband is 'only waiting for you in another room', will give you courage to face all there is to do.

Lizx

Thinking of you.
Brian(i)

Just wanted to say that you are still in my thoughts Fran.

Thank you all for your kindness - I can't begin to describe how bleak everything seems, but your comforting words are much appreciated.



Fran
x

so sorry for your loss sending you loads of positive thoughts just take one day at a time if you want to cry you are entailed i was told when things get to much go for a walk in a Field and scream as loud as you like god bless you and yours Valxxx

Fran, I am sure there will almost always be someone around even late at night, if you can't sleep and come on here for company. Just take things day by day and remember happier times, let yourself be helped by friends and family, they might not be sure how to help you but don't push people away and try to be too independent, share your memories and thoughts with others who loved your husband too, he isn't far away from you - he will always be in your heart.

Lizx

Fran still thinking about you. I am sure that things do feel bleak, you need time to grieve and nobody knows how long you need, your body will tell you when you are ready to come back on and chat to people. One thing our friend did when her husband died aged 58 was to make sure she had something, no matter how small, organised for weekends. She said that was the time that it came home to her that she no longer was part of a couple and she needed something planned to take her mind off that, not to stop remembering but to stop the loneliness.

As Liz said look back on the happy times you had together and your lovely husband will be looking out for you.


I was yours before the first morn broke
Before the sun that woke the earth
And I was yours before rain kissed the ground
Before the first dawn's sound was heard

I'll be the whisper of angels
And I'll be the frost on your glass
And I'll be the shadows at twilight
I'll be your first your last

I'm the rush-the fire in your veins
Across the desert plains I ride
I'm the ache the sound that midnight makes
A streak of star across the sky

I'll be the whisper of angels
And I'll be the frost on your glass
And I'll be the shadows at twilight
I'll be your first your last

Amici Forever.....Whisper of Angels


Ann x

Thank you - again.

That's a lovely verse, Ann - I've C&P'd it.............

I am trying to use the boards as and when I can - I find that concentrating on trying to help with lookups is a way to keep my mind occupied. In fact, I joined GR initially to keep myself occupied when my husband first went into hospital.

He and I are/were both OAP's, so the past few years have seen us together virtually all the time, which makes the house seem even emptier.......................

But I'm blessed with a caring family, and some very loyal friends - one, in particular spends at least an hour on the phone to me every evening - but, in the final analysis, they all have their own lives, and I have to learn to deal with no longer being half of a couple. At the moment, I can't envisage ever being able to deal with it, but I imagine that the time will come when I can at least accept it.....................

you'll get through it Fran - you will survive - it's nearly seven years on for me and the first months you are on auto pilot and just exist - so much to do and deal with - when everything has been dealt with and life returns to "normal" you will find yourself thinking of him with every waking moment, and probably dream of him at night. However, the time will come when you start to get your life back together, though still thinking of him and talking about him as much as you can to all who'll listen - never stop talking about him - I never did and still do!!! It is easier now though it still hurts when I see couples out together holding hands, but hopefully like me, you will have happy times to look back on = I spend a lot of time in the past, thinking of when we first met, when we married, all those sort of things and I get by now. Life will never be the same again, but life goes on and he wouldn't want you to be unhappy. I always think to myself "I'm glad he went first because I couldn't bear to think of him on his own like me" Any time you want to share memories or just talk, feel free to contact me and if you want my telephone number or email, just ask

Ann XX

Someone remembers,
Someone cares,
Your name is whispered in someones prayers. x

,

A beautiful verse Ann in Glos.

Ann of GG - I admire the way you have adjusted your life and kept your husband's memory alive as you go on with things, and I am sure your words will help Fran especially the offer of your contact details.

Tears will come, Ran, they will catch you at all sorts of times as things remind you of your loss but time will ease things to make the days bearable and I am very glad you have lots of loving support from friends and family.

Take care,
Lizxx


The price of true love is often great sorrow, but it's a price we pay gladly to have had that person in our lives for however short a time.

Fran, hi.....thought l'd nudge this up as we haven't heard from you for e while.
Hope your ok, would love you to pop on just to let us know if your coping alright as you know you have a lot of support on here. if you need it, take care, x

Thank you, Mummo, for your kind enquiry - and everyone else who has posted on here, and also sent me PM's.

I have got past the stage of 'not wanting to wake up in the morning', but life does still seem to be devoid of purpose, although I am told that I will eventually pass through this phase also.

I have had wonderful support from so many people - without it, I'm sure I would have disintegrated completely.

I try to occupy my time - quite a bit of it on the lookups boards - concentrating on looking for info for other people takes my mind off my own situation for a little while, at least.

I know there will be some really tough times ahead - not the least of which will be the day that should have been our Ruby Anniversary - but I will try to deal with each of the 'hurdles' as I come to them...................

Thank you all again for your compassion - it means a lot to me

Fran
xx

Good to see you on here Fran, each first special day will be especially hard for you but I am sure that you will get through this first year. We can't live these days for you but we can and will be here to prop you up, listen to you and try to comfort you.

Take care
Ann
Glos

Hello Fran,
I have just seen your thread for the first time and it brought a lot home to me. I have been there too and I can imagine you now wondering where those last eight weeks went as everything is still so new in your mind.

Try to keep busy and talk about your loss. For this first year, you will often think of "this time last year" and remember where you were and what you did then. After the first anniversary, it will feel strange to think that "this time last year he was gone" but you will then think less ofthe heart attack, the hospital and the funeral and you will start thinking back further to all the good times.

Take care. I wish you well.

Fran so good to see you posting ( sorry had a early night yesterday) .
Glad to see your keeping busy, just take one day at a time and take care of yourself, x

I have taken great comfort from the words on this thread - and from the many PM's I have received during these dark months since I lost my dear 'other half'' - he truly was the other half of me - and the loneliness doesn't diminish.

I'm dreading the next few weeks, with all the 'firsts' which will come around - but I'm sure that I'll 'get there' - somehow.

You will make it Fran!!

It will be hard but you will get through it.

Lean on your memories - they will help.

All our thoughts are with you.

Dea x

Hold on to your memories which will help you through Fran, and let the tears come when you need to, they will help heal you through these dark days.

Lizxx

every time I see your name on the boards, which is regularly, I think of what you are going through, having been there myself seven years ago - believe me when I say it does get easier to cope, and although they are always in your head and in your heart for eternity, you can move on. I have been lucky enough to find a really nice guy - never thought I would and although he will never ever be a replacement, he has filled a gap in my life and is bringing me some happiness again - something I never ever imagined would happen