General Chat

....WHY do women (or men) stick around to be repeatedly abused by their partners???!!!

because we love them and hope they will change

its not easy to walk away

I don't have any personal experience in any of my family but some people perhaps think there is nowhere they can escape to

No, its not easy, especially when you have children,
and no family to turn to, but after 15yrs of "it" the straw that broke the camels back(mine) was being punched for buying the kids a pk of 12 weetabix, so they could have breakfast.

correct Col

not a personal expeirience but on tlkin to friends who have been in that position

they are frightened he/she will find them and kill them

the kids

they "love" them

personaly i would never ever stay with anyone who hit me but i feel for the people who do they have there reasons and who knows what they are

domestic violence wether male of female is so wrong !!!

luv
stray
xx

A friend of mine was regularly beaten by her husband........................no-one could ever persuade her to leave until she had her baby.

She was holding their newborn in her arms and looked at him....................at that second she knew he would never change and her daughter would be next in line.

She left hospital for a refuge and almost 20 years later is a whole new person helping others in the situation she was in all those years ago.

Why did she stay with him?

Fear of the beating she would get if she left him and feeling so low that she really believed no-one would ever want her.

xx

yes, they are carrie,they find their stength in putting others down, due to their own inadaquensies(SP).

Kitty, you are so right, I went to a refuge, with 3 kids, it was the best move I made in my life, and my kids!!

i had no family and no where to go, and you feel so low its hard to be positive and do anything about it, i had 3 little kids

more now than ever before , but not when i was young

I had a close and loving family but I could ...or would not involve them as I knew how much it would destroy them...they did find out in the end as I was so badly beaten I had no choice

Kitty, I can understand that, sometimes it is like you get a "wake up call".....

my SIL (RIP) told me if I didn't get out, I'd end up on a mortuary slab.........

I even came across it at Vodafone when women would ring and beg for us to change their mobile numbers because they had run away from the abuse and their partner was still piling on the mental torture '''I know where you are'' type of call. I always did without hesitation or charge and then I would often send a company text to tell the abuser their mobile usage was being monitored and if they continued to send abusive, offensive or threatening text messages / calls they would be barred from the network...used to hope that it was a bit of support for the abused

nice one Colin...

there was a girl who used to come into my shop with her baby....one day at closing time she started talking....showed me the bruises all over her arms and back......

"He only hits me when I've annoyed him, done something wrong,or he's had a drink...the rest of the time he loves me! and he wouldn't ever hit our son...unless..."

I got her a place at the womens refuge that night (I had links through work) the next day she was back with him.....
because 'he loved her'. Not what I call love... if someone hit me...they'd be out...whether I loved them or not!

Rose xx

because when you are in that position you see all the other people who are happily married who,s husbands don,t use their fists and ask yourself why me ?.. Your partner will always tell you it,s your fault .. your stupid ... useless , a bad mother . If you weren,t they wouldn,t hit you , it,s your fault they loose their temper . ...
Each and every day it,s drummed into you ... you try harder , nothing changes .. but you keep thinking ,if only I,m like all the other women who don,t get hit .. it will change ... it,s my fault .
it,s called control ..
kim xxx

exactly kim !!!!

the number for womens AID is ,,08082000247,
if a free call and confidendial, for anyone out there that needs it, or just google "Womens Aid".
I hope this will help someone................