Genealogy Chat

Hi Colin, Think it will depend on your local Social Services and how backed up they are, generally most people find it takes a good couple of months though before they are able to see there records , Sorry. Do you know your birth name and your mothers, you could start serching before you see your file if that is the case, let me know if I can be of any help to you. Lou, Reckon that could be for the best, sorry your B/M has had such a hard time of it, but glad she sees you as a posative thing in her life, once her friend is back it may cheer her up to be in touch again, being so far from her oly home she may be lonely. Take Care all Sheila

bumped for Steve.we were lurking a few pages back! ~Jess~

Thanks a bundle Jess. [Goes to find cushion for chair] Its time to catch up with everyone, and compose my entry to this thread! Steve

Hi there all, It's been the thick end of a year, that I started looking for my Birth parents. firstly there was the wait for the GRO at Smedley Hydro to grind into action. Then the wait for the court who sanctioned the adoption, followed by more paperwork and applications to the adoption agency. [Barnardo's as it turns out] for my adoption files And then another wait for councilling. Whilst all this has been occuring, I used GR, And was spotted by a cousin who asked a couple of questions, and with my Emailed answers,deemed herself satisfied I was who I thought I was. I was informed I have a half sister, and a few cousins scattered aroud the globe!! I have met my sis, along with cousin, but that is all at present, but there is so much family history to get my head round i neary have brain fade!! Now that i have my adoption file,I am hoping to possibly trace my B/F, if he is still alive.[next project] He was not named on my birth Cert. As I tap this into the 'ooter,,the standard intro letter is winging its way to my B/M, who has not mentioned my existance to anyone[A lot of heart searching 54yrs ago,must make it difficult] Steve

We were still here Steve! Was the half sister kept by your B/M? going to be hard tracing your B/F - mine wasn't named on birth cert bt no doubt as to his indentity from info in the file. followed it thru, and found there were many more than me to 'attribute' to him one way or another.He died some years ago and maybe that is for the best, especially as some of the tales I have heard about him.... Good luck witht the letter to B/M - who know what it will return - hopefully some of the answers you are looking for. Keep us nosy wotsits informed please!! ~Jess~

Hi Steve Must be major mixed emotions time at the moment! I spoke to my birth mother for the first time 2 weeks ago and it was surprisingly relaxed and informal to how I'd always mentally imagined it would be. My BF wasn't mentioned at all, either in my adoption file or when I spoke to her, and at the moment I have no interest in him but if it ever comes up in conversation then maybe my curiousity will be piqued! Good luck with it and keep us informed...we love to know what's going on in everyone else's life and we're not NOSY, Jess, we're concerned and supportive!!! Lou x

Hi Steve, Been a busy time for you hasn't it ;O) did your cousin have any idea who your birth father was (in case your birth mother wont tell you) she may be able to find out from another family member later on, although I appreciate this is a bit of a delicate time at the moment. Good Luc! hope all goes well with your Birth mother, and if you need any elecotoral look ups for you father e-mail me and I will see what I can find. Sheila

Hi everyone, We have found the adoption agency that my husband's sister Karen was adopted through. Recieved a letter from Karen's support worker saying she is at the moment counselling her and will be seeing her in a few weeks. The support worker has told my husband that he can send a letter with information about himself and his parents and she will show Karen. The thing is my husband's parents never told him about his sister and he doesn't have any contact with them. He wants to be upfront about the situation but should he go into the details now or leave it and see how things progress? Any advice?? Jenny

Thanks to all who have replied. Sheila, My B/father's name is not on my own B/Cert.,thereis just a line thru' that box.His name is only mentioned in the documents I have just had from Barnardos.I will email you with a few details a bit laterfor a possible look up. HI there Lou, I am still at the curious stage of all this! I first found out about about my Birth family at the end of December 2004.I am interested in finding my B/father as it will sqare the circle. There is also the possibility that a meeting might not be possible , for one reason or another. I have yet to speak or meet my B/mother, but steps are being taken to remedy that, as we speak. Hi Jess, Yes H/sis was 'kept' by our mother. In fact they both live in the same flat now. I'm hoping it wont be too hard tracing B/Father, wheather alive or not.B/M is getting the standard contact letter from my councillor. so we'll just have to wait an' see.

Hi Jenny, How lucky have you been finding that his sister is in the process of receiving counselling now :O) Don't think he need to go in to all the ins and outs of his family life, just a bried outline saying who adopted him and where he was raised if he had other siblings etc, and then about you his wife and if you have any children. The rest of of the details he can tell her, if she agrees to meet him he can tell her the rest later, just think if the situation was reversed and he was receiving a letter from her, what would he like to know. Hope all goes well for you. Sheila

So I am being dense - what is a thread and how do I get to read it?

Hi guys, Quick update! Meeting my Sis tomorrow. Can't wait. Hope everyone is well. Speak to you soon Love Jules xx Met my sister J today. All went well. Boy can I see a resemblance. We have the same nose for starters. Her little girl J is the spit of my lad S as a baby. She has given me a couple of photos and shown me more of Dad. She says I look like Dad especially the nose and hair. She says I am so similar to Dad's sister Jill. Right down to the same humour and the way we tell it as it is! We have promised to stay in touch with each other. I have met Grandad also and we are like 2 peas in a pod! It was all natural and as though we had known each other forever. Still waiting to hear from my little brother. I doubt if I will hear from my other sister Pam. That is a long story that I don't know much about that yet! Hope everyone is ok. I'm home only for a few mins and the we off back to see the family for the weekend to continue house hunting! Take care and stay positive Jules

hi jules that is fantastic that you met your sister and your family today it is good that you all got on and had a lot in common i am so pleased for you lots of love donna x x

Hi Donna, Thanks for your reply. It was good to meet them finally. It certainly filled in the missing blanks! It's just a shame 31 years have gone by before we were able to find each other but that's life I guess. Been having a few down days of late and today seems like one of those days. Don't know why but I guess tomorrow might be better. How are you getting on? Any glimmer of hope yet? Don't give up yet. There's always tomorrow! Take care Jules x

One of those down days, Jules? I guess maybe having looked forward to something for so long, a dream that turned to a reality and has now 'happened' there is always a bit of a deflated feeeling. it will ease, and tommorow is another day. ~Jess~

Nudge - because I want to help everyone find their 'roots'. Love Joan

I've cut and pasted this from Andrew Grays thread about fathers, Marjory looks in on this thread I know, and hope that maybe she'll come back and tell us more, some of us are curious- and didn't know this was the case and wonder how it can be; ...........The risks are no greater than for two siblings who have both been adopted out, although I understand that the Registrar General must ALWAYS approve the marriage of someone who was adopted - the original registers are consulted to ensure there is no blood relationship between the two parties. This is discreetly done of course.............. I only ever produced my adopted certificate when i married( if i produced one at all), was never asked if i was adopted. ~Jss~

As I also replied to Andrew's thread, I was never asked whether I was adopted when I got married either. I produced my birth certificate as proof of identity but no-where on that does it state that I was adopted. The only thing I could come up with is that once they have the details from your certificate they check it with the GRO indexes to see whether it is an adoption or not cos, as you all know, our names now wont show in the indexes. On saying that, the gist of Andrew's thread was that men can be father's without knowing it so even establishing that WE were adopted does not necessarily mean that we're not marrying a sibling, especially cos in the majority of adoption cases, the father is not named on the cert. I know that both of you, Jess and Liz, know who your birth father was, but I don't have a clue about mine. How does the GRO establish that my future husband is not somehow connected to the man who fathered me? It automatically assumes that the person we are marrying knows who his biological father is. They might think they do but are they right? With my first husband I would say without a shadow of a doubt, yes, he did. With my current partner and knowing his mother as I do (and the things that she has told me that other members of the family don't know), I'd say that it's a possibly, rather than a definitely! Certainly food for thought! Lou

Just seen this thread - I will check my information with my Pet Registrar tomorrow and post a reply tomorrow evening. (I think it must be as Lou says, the Registrar checks, perhaps, birth-dates?) Marjorie

hi everyone i have some brill news remember i was going to write to my nans husband i do not think that he got the letter but yesterday i contacted somebody who had my nan in there tree on genes they got back to me we had a really good chat they have promised to get back in contact with me we swapped telephone numbers they have been searching for my dad and his brother but with out any look I have anouther question for somebody my dad had a sister who was also addopted who has been trying to make contact with my dads side how do i find her ,my dads step brother said that she had changed her name when she was addopted and when she turned up only some of them wanted to know there is only a few of them who did meet her any ideas ,also my nan had 13 kids poor lady lots of love donna x