Genealogy Chat

Either I've got my brain in gear or the OP has been rewritten. If it is the latter than Maurice has accepted that the OP was a bit difficult to follow but has still accused us of being insulting.

Whichever it is, I dispute that I was using 'psychological devices'. I was either being thick or the OP was not originally well written. Also, why would I complain about something of which I have no Knowledge. I do not have a tree on Ancestry, but I have been invited to view private trees successfully and I have made contact with tree owners both for myself and on other peoples behalf.

I would not be able to rewrite the original post as I didn't fully comprehend it - so surely it would have been wrong to try. I have not run away from listening - it seems Maurice is the one refusing to do any listening.

I think you are quite correct ..................

Maurice has re-written at least part of the OP, but without adding "edited" to it.


Some people may now wonder why some of us were having problems with understanding. :-(



Personally, I think that the problem is actually not Ancestry's!!


I think that what may have happened is that the "friend' who was helping his cousin had signed onto the cousin's tree using her own computer and sign-in,

That is what happens when you give someone permission to access your tree and edit it.


Maurice then, in all innocence, sent his invitation to that address.


I once tried to help my now-dead sister-in-law with something on ancestry, but I signed in from my computer with her password etc .............

........... she was visiting here from her home almost 1,000km away

I sent a message for her to someone, and got the reply back to my computer.


That was well and good because sis-i-l was still here .................. but it did not go to her computer, so she would not have known about it had she not been physically here.

I do object to some of the things that Maurice has called us ........

........... without until now accepting that there could have been something wrong with the way in which he had originally written the OP


If one person has difficulty understanding something, blame that person


If 2 or more persons have difficulty understanding .................. look again, and then possibly blame yourself.




It is perhaps a sign of how members on here do try to help others that so many of us have ignored such name calling, and accusations of using "psychological devices"





and, if you do edit a post, please, please add a little extra below to say something like .....................

"edited for clarity, 28 Nov 2014"




that is something I have long done ............

............... and I personally think that everyone should do it, until GR finally gets around to automatically adding "edited" to any post changed more than, say, 5 or 10 minutes after posting, as so many other sites do.

GR has said it is a good idea, and will be considered when an upgrade is done :-S

* The accusation of editing confirms that folks can't explain their way out the hole they have dug themselves into.

* In a world where crowd psychology exists, and where frequently the folks who agree with a thing understand it perfectly easily while folks with harsher spirited or cynical life attitudes which are getting challenged will claim not to understand exactly the same thing, it's important to be aware of those processes so that the less generous side of society does not make you blame yourself. I described already the way that folks who talk of not understanding can be tested for its justifiability, and all such voices have failed that test.

I give up



don't ever expect any help from me in future. Maurice




I have never before been accused of things that you are accusing us of doing or being ..........................




and be darn glad that I haven't reported you for insulting myself, and others.


You know what is right .................. carry on.





As a professional editor, I COULD have edited your OP to make it very clear what you were saying .................................


I just cannot be bothered any longer.


Just try to accept that it was nothing to do with the length of your post ............. I've read, and posted myself, much longer posts.

It was the clarity of it that made it so difficult for us to read to the end.

Maurice,

Earlier this evening I politely asked for a simple answer. Instead of providing that (which would have led to a second polite & straightforward question to you, you write the ramblings above.

As soon as this note is sent I am clicking the 'stop watching' button. So do not bother to reply, nor to RR me.

As a matter of interest Maurice have you checked to see whether said cousin is a member here?

EDIT So the above question is irrelevant because you HAVE made contact with your cousin..

I was reading through the posts following mine of last night and agreed with Sylvia's suggestion that Maurice was not using his own ancestry login.

then I got to Maurice's one of 21.56. Shame he didn't understand my post of 21.02. As I gave an either/or comment. Maurice says he didn't edit - but I still think there was a bit of tinkering.

Maurice seems to be suggesting that we are ganging up on him, not me, I was trying to confirm the point being made as he seemed not to understand them.

DON'T accuse me of being mean spirited. I did not fully understand the original post and no one else influenced me as I read the first post on the General Board before it was reposted here and thence before most people commented.

Why am I thinking of Andy Warhol?

Ignoring everyone except RR: he's not a member here but he is of Geni. Also I have a bank card, so can obtain some paid-for time on Ancestry. My point was that Ancestry's system makes it possible to be left cut off, not that I had been.
But when it first happened I faced the trauma that I might have been cut off, until had searched out whether he was contactable in any ways.

Someone without a bank card, and whose cousin does not turn up on any other, sites would be left cut off - and those are matters of luck.

All's well that ends well then? You have contact with your relative, everyone now knows that emails, internet connections generally, and the 'contact system' of web sites in particular can be fallible.

The good thing is that 10/15 years ago there would have been virtually no chance of finding stray cousins unless one knew their name and address to start with
( or could spend much more money going to records offices than one will ever spend on a web site subscription) ....now we can use technology ( and most of the people here have learnt how quite late in life) to do so.

Celebrate the positives :-D Hoorah for genealogy sites ! :-D :-D

Experiencing trauma can lead to ongoing problems in the future. I would recommend, If your trauma of being not able to make contact is upsetting to you I would suggest going to the following site to determine if you are experiencing PTSD

http://www.adaa.org/screening-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd