Find Living Relatives

Hi Guys,

I've never met my birth father and after years of searching, I turn 30 this year.

Unfortunately, Mum passed away two years ago. I always hoped that one day she would have an epiphany and remember a piece of crucial information.
I have put off the search since, feeling that now that since Mum was never to return, my father would not either.
This could still be the case, but I would very much like to know if that is so.

I have some information but not much.
I have a name of Thomas Samuel Gavin and that he was born in 1948/49, lived in Wimbledon with his Nan, Kim ( nickname ) and had a sister called Leslie born in 1964/65.

I believe he was previously married to a lady called Christine but was divorced from her for maybe a year before he met Mum.

My Mum and father did not marry.

I know that there was a child maintenance case in the 80's, on my behalf - this would have been between 1985 and 1990. I know that this did happen as my Mum used to give the money to me up until my 11th birthday.

I'm hoping that I will be able to gain access to the court records and find out some more information, as I believe this to be my last life line in the pursuit to find my father.

Has anyone had any luck gaining access to count child maintenance records?

Thanks Kerrie xxx

Kerrie are you sure of the years you've given, it seems a big gap between Thomas S and Lesley ( female spelling)? there are two births 61 and 64, with the same mothers maiden name, Kimberley.

There seems to be a wandsworth marriage in 1989 to a Maria'

Could this be a possible ??

Hi Rambling Rose,

Leslie's ( have no idea about the spelling - sorry ) birthday may be wrong but my fathers birth year was around 48/49 as Mum said that he was 35 when they met and they met in the December of 1984.

Thanks xxx

Hi Shirley,

This could be possible but can't say for sure as I believe Mum last saw my father when I was about 2 years old.

Thanks xxx

The Thomas who married Maria is aged 50-54 so is probably the birth Rose posted.

Nan's nickname was "Kim" - Thomas 1961's Mum's maiden name of Kimberley

Thomas 1961 had a sister with the correct name and age

I'm beginning to think that your dad is a lot younger than you've been led to believe.

There aren't any marriages ( England or Wales) for a Thomas Gavin to a Christine as far as I can see, nor are there many births for a Lesley , only one other but in 63 and not in the south of England.

Kerrie you can look on freebmd.org.uk and you will see there is no birth that matches the year you have for Thomas with the middle initial of S.

Hi Claire,

Thanks's for your input.

The age of my father was always something Mum was certain of as there was a large age gap between the two of them ( Mum was 18 and my father 35 ).
I have been lead to believe that it was the pressure of my family not accepting the relationship that caused my father to leave.

BUT this still could be possible :)

Thanks a lot Rose.

I have been looking online for years with the info that I have and can say that I have really struggled myself. So what you and Claire have said does make sense.

I have always wondered about Mum's info about my father but his age was something she was always sure of - it could be that he was not honest about himself or this was just a story to hide the real reason for the relationship breakdown.

You guys have definitely given me food for thought.

Thanks a lot for all of the replies this evening - it's more than I was hoping for xxx

The parents of the Lesley and Thomas I posted , married in 1958, in Surrey NE which covers Wimbledon...I think it's too much of a coincidence? There may have been other reasons why family did not approve and it became easier for your mum to tell you it was down to age?

Not saying I'm right, just that I would look into it further.

This is copied from a thread of several years ago re access to court records

"Try under the Freedom of Information Act to the issuing county court .....but this being family law case,any information can only be accessed if it contains information about you,but they are not obliged to comply."

Kerrie I have sent you a message, with some info on Lesley just in case it turns out to be useful, look at 'messages' at top of page and click on the 'envelope'.

Thanks a lot Rose.

I am going to try the Court again tomorrow, as I found the line to just ring today and will come back with an update.

Thanks for the private message also xxx

Looks like there was a brother called Michael too.

Thomas was living in Mitcham but the house sold in 2006.

Rose

Hi Guys,

I bombarded the local court with emails today RE gaining access to my child maintenance records. I got an email back 2 hours later.

I have found that records are only kept up until the child in question is 18. Another avenue was offered by my contact if I had been adopted by a step parent in my life, but I have not so that is now a dead end.

BUT I have had another member private message me with the same details discussed in this thread, so there is no denying that you wonderful people have in fact traced, not only my father but a whole other side of my possible family.

I have searched on facebook and have found quite a few of my possible relatives and my aunt, sister and husband all think that we have hit the jackpot, as there are undeniable similarities as to how we all look.
My sister shouted various swear words down the phone,once she had looked up one of the names, as she could see me in this person. lol

It's been a very strange day today and I feel so much gratitude to you guys for your help. I cannot thank you enough.

I am going to spend my evening working out exactly what I am going to say in a letter I propose to write to my possible ( most likely ) Aunt.

I will keep you posted. xxxx

Hi Kerrie I am glad you have found the links on FB, I found some late last night but thought it best that you see what info came from the court first in case it was different,

Good luck!

Kerrie I hope this has a happy ending for you. Please keep us posted.

Good luck

Hi All :)

It's been two weeks since I sent my letter to my possible Aunt and have not had a reply...yet.

I'm keeping everything crossed but am trying not to get my hopes up at the same time. I am trying to keep my mind occupied and not think about it too much.

Any suggestions as to what my next step would be, if I do not get a response? Should I send another letter? Make contact on Facebook? Turn up at the address?

Thanks guys. xxxx

Hi Kerrie, 2 weeks isn't long ( I'm sure it seems it) and there may be several reasons for no reply yet, it has been the holidays and your aunt may have been away or just wanting to think it over before replying and maybe to talk it over with other family members first.

I would give it at least a few more weeks, then you could try another letter emphasising that you don't want to cause upset to anyone, you would just like to know more about your father and family.

From the bad experiences of some on here, please don't turn up on their doorstep, it could put them in a very awkward position if other family don't know about you, and just on a general note you don't know their situation, there could be someone ill in the family for instance.

Hope you hear soon. :-)

Good advise Rose

Thanks Rose :D Exactly what I needed to hear!

Starting to get ant's in my pants, especially now that my birthday is looming next week.

xxx