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Sylvia / Dougie

I don't think I will be contacting him anyway, and if I did it would be with caution I understand he may not have told any one about me and yes he did know about me. Got email from mum she does not think it is him. But then again she does not know where he was born intact she really does not know anything about him, I just find it so frustrating. That a part of me will always be missing, did he ever think of me. Don't even know what he looks like.

So because the lack of information I would not contact.

Jane

Jane

I am in agreement on the point that you should approach the gentleman with caution.

I earnestly hope that your long search comes to a final conclusion.

On the other hand please be aware that if this is the right person that you are seeking he may not wish to have any future contact with you leaving you very disappointed.

Again Best of Luck


Dougie

Jane


I think you proceed with great caution!!!


You have to consider a number of facts before you approach them ...................



did your father know your mother was pregnant?


If he did know, does his wife also know?


Are you going to come out of left field as a complete shock to both of them?


remember that they are now getting on in years ......... in their mid- to late 70s .................. and their health may not be good.




I ask this because I strongly suspect that the wife of a relative does not know that her now-dead husband had a child in the 1940s when he was 16, several years before he met and married his wife. I do know that none of his children know!

I know because he told me. His parents knew, but are both dead


The wife is now in her mid-80s and very frail ..................... it would be one h**l of a shock if the child did ever find and approach her.





I would recommend that you write a letter, very carefully suggesting that you think you might be related without giving full details, and did he know xxxxx xxxxx in the late 1950s. Give your address and phone number, and enclose a stamped addressed envelope ............. and then just wait and see what happens.



I would most certainly recommend that you do NOT phone them!

Hello Jane,

Both David A Paterson & his wife are listed on the current electoral roll (2014) in Edinburgh.

I would suggest that you buy credits from a site such as 192.com which is unfortunately a pay and view site.

This will either open or close an avenue of research for you.

Good Luck.

Dougie.

Okay guys

Dougie was just trying to be supportive.

I will be honest when i first read the message from Jax i thought it was a bit abrupt and short... but i agree he does have a point about not know parents names in these days.

Rose could thinking batman now why did i not think of that mmmm.

Anyway i have had a interesting afternoon the one and only David paterson born 1940 in leith could be a possiblity or i could just be reading into the information because i am desperate to find out about my father.

Found his mothers death certificate and the area she died in is the area that my biologial mum thought he lived when she was courting him.

Sent my mum an email with my information see if any of it jogs her memory.

I even found relations of my bilogical mother who are still alive her half sis and brother, she was not close to her family i think it is sad that familys lose touch. i Even found all my real granddads siblings today.

Once again guys thank you for all your ideas and support which is giving me the encouragement not to give up the ghost again.

Just not sure which direction to go now i know David is still alive and he married in 1971 could not find any children for them both.

Jane

Dougie ................

I have no idea how old you are, but I can assure you that young women in the 50s and 60s very rarely knew the forenames of their friends parents ................ male of female friends.

We always called them Mr and Mrs xxxxxx


I married in 1967, and I addressed my boyfriend's parents as Mr and Mrs right up until about 3 months after we married, when I finally got up the courage to write to them (by then we were in another country) to ask if I could call them Mum and Dad


No forenames used, or even mentioned!


You're talking out of the other side of your hat if you think otherwise!




I don't find it in the slightest unusual that Jane's mother did not know her boyfriend's mother's name.

So your criticism of Jax was unwarranted.

As a very long shot , there is this page on FaceBook

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Spirit-of-Leithers/333309933448600?sk=timeline

You could post a very general and discreet enquiry on there asking if anyone worked at Pullmans during the period you are looking at ( something along the lines of 'looking for an old family friend' ).

Dougie / patchem

Thank u both for all your help and support. Taken time of work on my way to register house. Will let you know how I get on. Sent my mum and email to see if the name Helen rings a bell. And yes in those days it was formal and people known as Mr and Mrs.
Anyway be back later x

Dougie,

I agree that positive encouragement is to be applauded.

But I think that it should be tempered with a realistic appraisal of the situation.

jax's comments about not knowing the first names of friends' parents is not only true for the 1950's and 1960's. but for nowadays.

My daughter was in a car crash with 2 friends. The driver had been to our house several times, and had known our daughter for many months.
He did not know her surname, nor her address, when asked for it from the doctors.

So he may never had called us Mr and Mrs X, nor Janet and John, but just grunted a Hello.

I think jax's posting was completely appropriate.

My late father was adopted & I know the difficulties about trying to find out about one's biological ancestry with very little information.

I agree with JoonieCloonie that sometimes you can find out about the information that you are looking for with a bit of luck.

In my case it was due to pursuing a hunch.

The lady is looking for help in trying to find her biological father.

People are trying to assist Jane in her search.

I feel that jax comment is neither helpful or appropriate

We do not know the circumstances of Jane's mother who I presume at the time of Jane's birth was a very frightened & distressed young woman,bearing in mind society's attitude to single unmarried mothers at that time.

Please give encouragement to the lady in her difficult search with positive suggestions.

Dougie

Not sure why someone who only had a brief relationship with someone, would know what their parents names were?

I would have thought back in the late 50s you would only know your friends/ boy/girl friends parents as mr and mrs whatever not by their first name

The only other thing I can think of -and this is another of my long shots - is to see if your birth mother can remember names of other workmates, preferably those with unusual names!. If they can be traced, you never know, they might remember something about David.
Jan

when you check the birth certificate Jane, check on a marriage for the couple whose electoral roll info I linked to

it would show the names of the groom's parents so you could see whether they are a match for the birth certificate

that would not mean that the person is your David but it would at least help to make that David traceable

I don't have SP credits left either but a basic search shows two marriages between 1958 and 1975 for the name David Paterson and the given name of the woman in that electoral roll entry (both in Edinburgh City) ... on a slightly narrower search, both were between 1965 and 1975

the results are the same on a search for Mitchell Paterson with the same bride's given name (so I assume it searches on either first or second given name) ... 2 matches 1965 to 1975

I have hit some duplication glitch in the system I think: all searches for both names, David and Mitchell, married to the same bride's name, in Edinburgh, produce 2 results in 1971 ... so it seems there was one marriage and it was the person named DMP.


I agree never give up (even on Smith!) I recently traced back to the early 1800s very quickly for a friend, starting with the only thing my friend's father remembered about his own wife's parents: her long-dead mother was Lizzie and her long, long-dead father was Mr Smith. Sometimes it takes luck like I did have in that case, but luck can come from many directions :-)

Hello Jane,

There is a marriage listed in Scotlands People for a William Paterson who married a Helen Mitchell in Morningside,Edinburgh in 1938.

I think it is fair to say that these are people are David Mitchell Paterson's parents.

Their marriage certificate is available on line via Scotland's People.

This may help jog your mother's memory.

Unfortunately I only had a couple of credits left for Scotland's People so I couldn't access it for you.

Never give up hope.

I have traced family with common names such as Smith & Brown


Dougie

Hi Dougie

Unfortunately my mother does not remember his mothers name. She cannot even remember where exactly he lived she thinks clermiston. It was 1958 girl meets boy girl gets pregnant boy moves on. They had not really been going out for very long. My mother moved to Australia in 1964.

I am hoping to get time in October to go to register house and look up the Certificate for David born in Leith and see if the parents name jog my mums memory.

I tried to search for him before but gave up as i feel i do not have enough information abut him. thought maybe coming on some of these sites someone might read this and say hey i know him.

I have contacted a few on here but had no luck.

Jane

Hello Jane,

Surely your mother must have some indication of David Paterson's mother's name

His birth certificate is your first step if you wish to pursue any avenue.

This would give you the names of his parents & may jog your mother's memory

Have you also checked members trees to see if anyone has a David Paterson listed with the same date of birth.

Dougie

Thank you all for your help and advise, i have sent a message to the gentleman on friends reunited.... Not sure about the David that comes up in scotlands people that was born in leith? i will have to try and get some time of work and go to register house to have a look at the certificate and even then i will not be sure, the big problem is not knowing his parents names. he could have been born in leith but he did not live in leith when he met my mother. anyway all thank you again. xx

I wonder whether this person might be worth considering, the initial would match Dougie's very reasonable surmise

http://www.192.com/atoz/people/paterson/david/eh14/1325658396/

on the electoral roll only up to 2007 and not currently in the telephone book on line ... this could indicate that that person is deceased but there could be various other reasons


I do think Jan's suggestion of contacting the company owner via friendsreunited is an excellent one

Hello Jane,

According to the Scottish Records there was a David Mitchell Paterson born in that year in Leith which is just outside Edinburgh

You also state that he was working for a company based in Leith when he was 17


I would suggest that this may be too much of a coincidence.

If you are sure of the date of birth I suggest that you get a copy of his birth certificate.

This will either open or close an avenue of research for you.

Regards,

Dougie

Have you tried a workplace search on Friends Reunited? I have had a look, and there are only 2 people who show up. However, one person who it might be worth trying to contact has put himself as being there in 1962 and has put 'owner'- a very long shot but worth a try.
Jan