General Chat

Whitenancy, my advice is to go to the appointments that you have. It is still medical, your general health depends on it. As you probably already know physiological conditions can also affect your physical health.

Really it is no ones business why you are going. How much you tell them is up to you, I would tell them as little as possible, but that is my choice.

Long term it will be beneficial to your job, as you will start to feel better about yourself you work performance will improve.

Could you organise with your supervisor to make up the time you will be away for appointments? Are they flexible enough to do this for you? It is worth a try.

Good for you though seeking this help. It took a bit for me to come to terms with, I do know a few of us on here have grown up and live with narcissism all our lives. Until Sharron put up her thread I knew nothing of this. I was physically ill when I first read about it, by then my mother was gone. I was also 57 years old. Just knowing was such a help for me. I have had counselling through out my life and now realise the problems I had were based from the effects of narcissism. I do not think it is widely recognised.

Good luck Whitenancy with what you choose to do with the timing of appointments, I would go for the day counselling though as you will not have to wait for your appointments at a latter date.

Gail

PS I cannot be on much as PC does not like the heat.

Hi Caz... Please forgive me for not keeping up with you as you know I am having a tough time just managing MYSELF. ha ha ha
ME... the woman who is reputed to have the ability to be able to *sleep on a barbed wire fence* ... is not sleeping these nights!! :-( But I do still think of you. You have had a dreadful time and I have neglected you... sorry love.
the same goes for all you others who may think that I don't care.
I DO but I am often not able to type at all.. not even badly.
I even managed to lose my ABC Check and exhausted myself looking for it and replacing it. I cannot work without it these days. A stroke is definitely NOT mans best friend ,but I must be very thankful for the fact that I have been very lucky..... this time.

I am crying a lot these days and if there was a reason I would be able to handle it better. I'm often very short with Allan and Tony and I don't mean it, it is just the way things come out of my mouth these days.

I do think of you all all the time but I am just not able to join in most days.
My SIL (Allan's sister) had an operation on her wrist (carpal tunnel) and it went bad. She had to have antibiotics (or as they are known in our house... ANTI BIONICS) and she is still in pain after a week and a half. I had an e.mail from her husband telling me that it had been done... and I did not reply, then had another on the 1st of the month to tell me how bad she was.... and I only just phoned her this morning.

I feel very bad about it but I am just not 'with it' these days.
I will be fine again in a day or two, but I feel bad about being so neglectful of my friends.
SORRY all of you. I am able to forward things which I am sent. That does not take much thinking on my part.

So.... see you all when I am able (although I did well here!) and don't think I am not interested in you all.... I am.

Lots of love to all,
look after yourselves and stay nice and warm and rested.
Your Thick friend
Deanna XXX

AND GAIL......... I forgot to mention you love.
I will PM you I am not ignoring you.
I had so much to say to you and you were very helpful to me.
It eased my mind a bit knowing that there was a reason.
O.M.G.... you must be wondering what the h*** I am on about! ;-0)
love Deanna XXX

Deanna,
You are probably suffering mild deoression after the stroke which is making you tearful, do speak to your doctor about it. Hope you feel better soon but meanwhile it is lovely to see you on here.

Ann
Glos

Deanna your body/ brain has been through a big shock with the stroke. You are doing very well to do what you do after it. My grandmother (mum's mum) had a stroke and my dad. Grandma also said things she most likely would not have meant. Dad has lost his speech altogether. Dads doctor said depression comes with stroke, so I'm not surprised you feel weepy. We all know you think of us often by your forwarded emails. Which we are blocking Liz's in box with!!! ha ha .

Liz sorry your washing machine has let you down! They are like cars and computers great when they are working!!

Gail hope you are okay with the heat you have. I was telling people at work today it's so hot you can't have your computer on for long. xxx

Mary if only we could share some of Gail's heat! -2 here tonight and I know you would love it to be that warm! Hope you are all okay xx

Caz hope your pain is getting under control for you. I hate to think of you in so much pain xxx

Eileen, have you opened that letter? Was it as bad as you thought? Hope not xxx

Colin is your neck of the woods as hot as Gails? x

Ann whats the snow been like near you? xx

Dutch how are you and Jan?

Alison thanks for message x

Tree hunter how are you? x

Had my daughter home last night but I was working today, she went home tonight as she has work tomorrow. Didn't see much of her. Oh how I wish my son was as organised as she is.

Love to you all xx

Deanna I know you are having problems with typing some days and do not expect a reply all the time. I am glad it helped and to know what you are talking about. We think of you all the time. What you are going through and feeling just now is normal, so you can tell yourself "I am normal for once in my life". :>]]]

Carole the heat in OZ is just that all over Australia, so would guess Colin is getting the same. We had some rain last night 15 mils and a little hail, it cooled off for half an hour then the humidity hit and the heat came back. Last I heard was over 60 people had died in South Australia from the heat. We have to be very careful and drink loads of water. Children and older people have to take extra care. I know you would love some heat in the North of the world, I have been watching the news and weather reports and cannot imagine the cold weather you are getting. I do not envy you at the moment. We are getting 40 c + degrees here over the last few days.

Computers do not do well when it is this hot and will over heat at the fan has to work extra hard. I had to have it replaced last year and it was not this hot, so being careful this year and only on half an hour through the day. We put the air con on of a night only, apart from the cost, it is horrid going from the air con out to tend the pets in the heat. I have been spraying my chickens with the hose to cool them down, I have not lost any yet to the heat and this surprises me as they are having a hard time. When it get this hot you do as little as possible.

I hope everyone is feeling a little better. It has been very quite on here the past few days.

My mate will be operated on next week, not looking forward to the trip though. Will be glad when he get the all clear. He is a lovely dog and hope it will be okay.


Gail

Hi Gail, and all, sorry not been on here much or in contact, I am worn out after that problem I had for the last week, did manage to get out and shop yesterday so was able to get a pressie for the misery guts who is 55 today! Bought him a man-bag as I am fed up helping him look for his specs (two different pairs in seperate cases he has to take with him)his wallet, credit cards, camera and phone, so thought if he had them all in one smart bag instead of two small ones that won't hold the specs, it will save time and energy and hassle, and I won't end up having to carry anything too. Was good as in Debenhams the woman behind the counter asked this other chap if he had a Daily Mail coupon, apparently you get 20% off with it, so he said he would go to a nearby newsagent to get one, I cheekily asked if he would get me one too, which he did so I got two different bags for o.h. to choose from, each with 20% off and I can return the one he doesn't want. He will have a few parcels to open when he gets up which reminds me, I have to get up earlier than usual so better get off here and to bed.
Take care all of you whether you are too hot or too cold, hope you find a comfortable medium soon lol
love from your nutty pal Lizxxxx

p.s. Deanna, you are doing fine love, just plod on as and when you can and feel proud at the way you are coping.
xx

Liz how did you get on with the washing machine/dryer. I have my taps and electrical work also under the laundry sink and the kitchen sink, I never turn them off. Do not know any one that does. Sorry, we do turn them off when on holidays. I think most people do when going away.

Glad your wee problem is now sorted.;-O

Gail

Hello Carole and others from warmest Sydney, I am not sure where Gail lives. Where I am is not too bad at present. In Sydney itself the sea breeze effect helps keeps temperatures down (28 C or 82 F at the moment). I live a few miles inland, but not so far that the sea breeze never reaches here. My main problem has been sleeping during the day, but my night shift finishes tomorrow morning so it should be back to normal for six weeks.
It is encouraging to read that Caz is recovering.
Deanna, I think Carole is correct. Your body (and your brain is part of the body) has taken an awful belting. That's why it is called a stroke. I have been told that there can be personality changes, which are hard for the person themselves and those around them. Their friends and family sometimes need to be told this as they need to understand that it is not your fault. I think it is amazing that you are using the computer so well.
Treehunter and others, I have been through the deepest depths of despair and can only say that you do come through it. Sometimes the recovery is slow, but one time after weeks of impenetrable fog and and a couple of weeks of antidepressants I felt like death warmed up one day and bright and cheerful the next.
To the lady with the fearsome supervisor, it was at this time that my employer was so supportive. My supervisor knew what was going on, but the medical certificates described my condition as a "medical illness" for ten weeks. None of anybody's business.
Perhaps the opposite is also true. The unfriendly supervisor need know only that you have a medical illness, but if management is aware of antidiscrimination laws maybe someone could speak with them? Just a thought. Of course, that is a bit pie in the sky. As an older worker I have experienced age discrimination and possibly other forms.
While I tend to rave on, I think at the moment that my intention is to encourage others that it can pass, especially if the underlying problems can be dealt with. Not always possible, I know. In my case my problems are small, usually short term, but annoying.
My brother in law has some much bigger ones. He has just had surgery and seems positive at the moment, but I wonder how he will cope in the long term especially as his condition may force him to retire.
On the other hand my beloved freaks out at trifles (OMG what else could go wrong) but handles disasters well. Melanoma and a brain tumour in the 80s, melanoma again in the 90s, and again 5 years ago, and a bad fall, breaking an arm. I wish I was as tough.
Colin

Colin I am way over the mountains from you. Very hot and humid just now.

I lost my first chicken to heat exhaustion today. You do the best you can for them but sometimes it is just not enough. I have been spraying them to try to keep them cool in the middle of the day. She was fine this morning, though hot, and when I went to feed them late this arvo she was gone. I only feed them at very late after noon in summer as if the eat through the day it makes them hotter for some reason. If they were nude in the summer and no feathers they would be cooler but then they would get sunburn.


Gail

Hope poor doggie gets the all clear for him and you x
Now there's a thought Gail! Nude chickens running round. Try catching them to cover in suncream. Poor things would think they were going in the oven alive. lol. 40c + I would be melting. I like the heat but that is too much. I don't know how you manage not to use air con in the day as well. Do you have a room that is cooler than others? Our living room is cooler in summer as we don't get the mid day sun in it.

Colin hi. It's a game of chance isn't it, whether your supervisor/ manager understands the needs of someone with a mind problem. My supervisor and work mates have been great. Often making diversions for me to find a loo. When really we all just want to get to our place of work and get home again. My supervisor doesn't do illness but has been very good and never
said anything to make me feel a nuisance. I know sometimes my taking time off has made it difficult for our team to find enough staff for a particular job but none of them have complained. Well one did once when I was late but she is a different breed!

Deanna my grandmother did go through some personality changes. These made it hard as the woman everyone knew was gone. You know your family and what you can or can't say to them, then all of a sudden they didn't know anymore. She would get nasty at times. You are bound to feel frustration at being able to do things one day and not another. The only way to improve this is with patience and practice. Don't worry about spelling, I'm not into using a red pen for spelling mistakes on here!!

Liz did you manage to get up early to see him open his cards and presents? Have you got a toy boy? Well well ! lol
Is your washing machine fixed yet? With the other problem of late I guess you have worn it out.

Caz thinking of you and hoping for better days xxx

Woke up to a blanket of snow this morning. It does look nice from in my warm house! Oh is not so lucky he is out posting in it. Tomorrow will be worse when the paths are more slippery. He walks on peoples grass sometimes to save him from walking on the slippery bits. Some poeple tell him off!! My mum would be knocking on her window at him. But the post office do not provide none slip soles! Or knee and elbow pads!

Why do I keep clicking on reply at the top instead of submit below?

Hi again, we have ceiling fans in every room of our house and they are great, we use them all year round, they have a reverse switch to also spread heat in the winter. I put the air con on today about 3 pm as was so hot, then while house was cooling off went and fed the pets and had to give every single pen a change of water, plus I have 6 brooder pens with chickens, then tried to cool them, off with a sprinkle from the hose. When I got back inside after over 2 hours of being in the heat, the quick change in temperature nearly made me faint, by then I also needed a drink as was getting dehydrated. Most of the house is double brick, so once it is cool it will stay that way for a few hours without the air conditioner.

Carole it may sound strange, you do get used to it. We have only had air conditioning for 3 years, before that only fans. As long as you can get to sleep of a night when it is hot, you do not notice it much. When the children were little I would wet a large cotton sheet and put it over their cots and have a fan blowing on this to keep the temperature down. The adults got a damp towel and would sleep with that over you with a fan going.

I often wonder how our ancestors managed having to wear their long dresses with long sleeves and petticoats. I remember having a serge uniform (box pleats) for summer and winter. You would boil in summer wearing it and freeze your legs off in the winter, was so glad when I went to high school as was then allowed to wear stockings in winter. The only cooling in school was an opened window and hope for a breeze to come through. Heating in the winter was to close the window. We were not allowed to wear gloves in class in winter, though the teacher usually did. The coldest winter we have had here was -15 c. I would not like it any colder thank you.

When my MIL first came her to live, she really got a shock. No electricity, no gas, outside loo (not flushing, a pit in the ground) and water from a tank. This was in the mid 1950's. Even then water was precious and she had to be very very careful. I grew up with these conditions, MIL had not. Must have been a terrible shock for her.

I do not envy you your snow. It does snow here on the very odd occasion. We usually have frosts.

Sorry people did not mean to ramble, just spreading some culture.

Gail

Gail I love the culture!! Thats one of the things I love about this thread. It's off topic most of the time but gives us a break!! To share with each other our lives has been great fun the last few months. I look forward to reading it every day, most days more than once. It's like reading a book where you know all the characters, and it doesn't end. That is great for depression as it
gives us a focus other than our health. xx

just ot let you know that i went to my first counselling session today. It was good and she can offer me some evening appointments which is great the only down side is that due to nhs funding etc she can only offer me six session!

Quite how i am going to solve 40 years of problem is 6 sessions im not quite sure but im not giving up!

I LOVE YOU PEEPS.... I managed that letter last evening and you made me feel great after I had sent it and you read it.
THANK YOU ALL.

and Gail... Allan tells me often that "now you are normal like the rest of us!"
But Tony tells me...mum, you were NEVER normal!! As sons do. ha ha ha.

Had a quiet day today and although I felt ill when I got up. I feel better now.
A nice day of rest and a little *family abuse* does a lot for a mothers self respect doesn't it? ;-0)

I did not sleep last night again. The snow is so deep here so Tony could not take Allan shopping. He phoned and asked what we really needed and he walked to the shops and got our shopping.
He came back and had lunch with us (he had been on the go since 7.00) then walked home again.
THEN.... after doing our shopping and getting his boots and jacket etc soaked... he got home and found that he had forgotten to buy milk for his own tea and coffee!!
So he had to go off again to the nearest supermarket for milk.
Ain't life hard sometimes?? ;-0)

Anyway. I hope you are all having a lovely warm and happy evening.

Good night all and thanks for all the information about your loved ones and their strokes, it helps to hear that I am not alone or odd.
Well okay I am odd but you all know what I mean.

Love to you all,
Deanna XXXX

Claire hope those sessions will be long ones! I have had about 14, some lasting 45 mins some only ten which I felt was a waste of my time. Having taken a day off work for that. If I'm not working local I can't go after the appointment. loosing a days pay.

Deanna I wish my dad could do half what you can xxx

Hello, just to remind you all I am still here. My infection has nearly gone thank goodness, hope those stones don't come back I have enough to deal with as it is. My sisters b-i-l had to have an operation to get his out, he has quite a long scar on his neck, I was lucky.
Whitenancy it is great that you have got councilling and the first has already helped, even though it is only six, you can solve a lot with that. As you talk your brain starts to think and brings a lot of solutions up itself, she is only there to listen to you bringing it all out, and dropping a few questions now and again. They really are good.
I am particularly down today as it is nine years today I lost my mum, and now is when I need her most, my dad died 32 years ago.

Deanna don't think of me, you have enough to do to try and carry on normally, I know you still care as we all do.

I am so tired, if only I could get some quality sleep it would help, I just can't get comfy and once asleep pain wakes me up again. It doesn't help when doctors say they know how bad my back is and that's why they can't help. There I go feeling sorry for myself again. Sorry all.

Hope everyone is as good as they can be, love and hugs to all.

Caz xx

Don't some strokes make you prone to crying? I knew of one man who had had one.His wife had a little part-time job.probably to get her away from him for a couple of hours,and he would see her off in the morning and stand in the garden crying his eyes out.

My dad gets upset over little things like running over my foot.Probably it is just an act to disguise his glee really.

My Dad often looks like he is going to cry. His face screws up like a big weep is coming. Even little things like telling him a piece of good news. Never was one to cry before the stroke.

Hi everyone just popping to to see how everyone is.

I am not too bad, been bit down, but picking myself up.

Got to learn to say no. Small word but hard to say it to anyone.

((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))