General Chat

I am going to sound like a terrible mother, but here goes - My son was given the opportunity by his school to apply to attend a summer school at Aberystwyth University from July to August, six weeks in all. The letter has just arrived and he has been accepted. He can come home on a Friday and go back on a Monday. It is a wonderful opportunity for him and he is really looking forward to it. I am really proud of him, because he has done so well at school, considering he was bullied for 10 years, but having said that, I really don't want him to go. He is very quiet, so this will probably be really good for him. I am not going to stop him, but I am going to miss him so much and as I am such a worrier, look out all you good listeners on here, I am going to moan to you all like mad. M.

Don't worry I'm sure he'll have a fantastic time! Although saying that you're a mother you have to worry it's your job! My mum still worries that I'll lock myself out of the house, everytime I go out she asks me if I've remembered my keys! And I haven't lived at home for nearly 4 years!! But seriously, I'm sure he'll have a brilliant time, my little cousin went on something similar last summer and loved it! Amy x

morfydd dont worry about feeling upset,its just a mothers instinct i cried every night and couldnt concentrate when my children went away with the school the silly thing about it was that they were only at a nature reserve a 15 minute drive away from our house lol susie

Its an excellent opportunity for him but I can imagine how you feel,Ive only just started at this motherhood lark and my wee son is 8mths old and if his daddy takes him for a walk while I do something else,I miss him,how sad is that?!

Hi Morfydd Hope you're well. You must be very proud of your son to have come this far after all of the bullying. It's only natural that you will miss him and worry about him but we've got to let them find their own way. This trip will let him discover himself and set him up for life. Try and think positive, and we're all here for you when you want a good moan! Jeanette

Morfydd I think its lovely that you are so concerned about him and will miss him so much. When I went to university my mum made it clear she was looking forward to getting rid of me. I think the words were 1 down 2 to go (my sisters)! I know she does worry really but it would have been nice to have been told! Give your son all the encouragement he needs but dont be shy of letting him know you will miss him and worry about him. Good Luck Lindsey

Morfydd Can I add that I still worry about my kids and they are aged 42 and 36 now. and to add to it there are the 5 Grandchildren to worry about, like cycling on the roads these days, are they wearing their helmets? etc. etc. and next year the oldest will be old enough to drive. But it is in a Mother's nature to worry. i am sure he will be fine and enjoy every minute. Ann Glos

Dear Morfydd, Of course you are worried, and your stomach is tied up in knots wondering if your son is goin to be ok. Create the scene in your mind,that he will be fine, and he will be, think of the achievement, be enthusiastic about his trip, let him catch that enthusiasm, send him off full of optimism. He believes in himself, so strenghten his belief. When he has gone, then you can indulge yourself and let your tears flow and your worries come to the fore. then whenhe calls you canbe all upbeat again. These are not trite words I write, I had to let my Son who was paralysed from the waist down move into a totally unadapted flat, with no warden control or alarm system anything. He had to go, to prove he could do it. and I had to let him try. You may get a few hiccups, he may hate it, but at least you gave him the chance to try. bet he comes back with a swagger inhis step, and feeling cock of the North. Mine did. Love Terri xx

Dear Morfydd, Take heart from all the messages you've received because they all ring true. We have all been there with our offspring, that's what mothers are all about!! I very much like the message about roots and wings!! Very simple but very profound. Cheerio Joyce

its nice to hear of a young man who is willing and wanting to learn for a change, you feel free to come and moan as much as you want yes you will miss him,but you can look forward to the weekends love mary.

Morfydd, I think the main point you've raised is that it's something he is looking forward to, not just something the school or family think will be 'good' for him, a quieter child.You are bound to worry, and be warned the going back after a weekend at home might not be easy at first., - for either of you. 2 of mine went off to uni. and although they made some really good friends, who gave them a warm welcome on their return, we had tears at times on leaving familiar home surroundings. Talk positively together about the proposed visit,- if he wants to and enjoy your weekends during his stay. Mums always worry and it is hard not to. My eldest has joined the fire service and I know he could face danger each time he's on duty, but like you I'm proud that he is making positive decisions about his life.- doesn't stop me worrying though and he's almost 31.

morfydd, its hard to let them flee the nest,and i can see you are so proud, my 5 have all left home and though i worry about them, they know i'm here if they need me. sometimes they turn the tables and worry about me being on my own. so best foot forward as us mums would say , and i'm sure he will phone everyday or even e-mail you .with his new interests you sound close. so good luck to you both sandra

Thank you, all of you, I am really mad, I am sitting here reading your replies and crying, how bad will I be when he goes. I know it's only for six weeks and he said, he may not like it after the first week and would rather spend the summer at home. Wait until he says he likes it so much, he is going back for a couple of years after his A levels. He was so chuffed when I gave him the acceptance letter when he got in from school. He is 17, six foot tall, but I still think of him as my little boy. I will have to try to put the worries out of my mind for now, get excited with him and then fall apart after he goes on the first Monday and girls I guarantee you will all know the day, you will all hear me sobbing. Love to you all, you are lovely friends, M

I know exactly how you feel, my son who is 21 went off to Majorca 2 weeks ago to work as a rep for 6 months, and my daughter who is 19 went to France last Saturday for 6 months. I am worried sick about them. A couple of days ago Jack telephoned to say "don't panic Mum but I was in a car crash yesterday I skidded on oil" he is fine, but I was ready to get on the next plane to Majorca. They have to do these things and it will be good for them, but I can't help worrying, and at the moment I am suffering from a severe lack of sleep. Your son will be fine, and he will learn and grow from the experience. Sue

You won't stop worrying, and I'm not going to tell you that you should - I would do the same. But be proud that you have produced such a wonderful son who is prepared to stand on his own two feet and appreciate opportunities like this. I was at Aber Uni as a student many years ago. My memories are of a wonderful, friendly place and its influence on my life was huge. I lived in a place called Alexandra Hall and my son is called Alex in remembrance of the fantastic time I had. Angela

Hi Morfydd, It's natural for you to worry but I am sure your son will enjoy himself.He is a credit to you.You are just being a loving,caring Mum.

you sound a terrible mother to me. You bear ,worry ,and look after him all his life ,and now he leaves home you still worry about how he is going to get on. I only wish all mothers were terrible . My daughter gave up three of her kids ,because she remmarried and the new husband couldn,t cope.my wife and i brought up our grandson ,who is now 19 ,is in the forces and has just gone to the falklands for 6 months . We are both proud of him ,as you are of your son.In this day and age you have done a hell of a job ,proud ,i should think you are,and upset? you wouldn,t be normal otherwise

Hello Morfydd, I know just how you feel, it's that little bit of letting go that is hard for us. My daughter is just about to finish her second year at Aberystwyth University. It's six hours away for us, so no chance of weekend visits unless we go there. She was a quiet girl, not really a big city sort of person, but has now really blossomed and is having a great time as well as studying, so I hope your son finds it everything he wished for, Good luck to him and what a marvellous opportunity, let us know how he gets on. best wishes, Sue

Thanks again everyone, you're great. Reading your messages at least I know I'm not alone in the way I'm feeling. Love to you all. M.

Dear Morfydd, There are so many young people whose parents make it quite clear that they are glad 'to see the back of them' so it's truly refreshing to hear from someone like you who dearly loves and enjoys the company of her children. Take comfort from the fact that your son is actually LOOKING FORWARD to this challenge. The period of bullying could easily have blighted his confidence for life, causing him to miss out on so much fun. By going to the Uni, he is actually making a statement that he is not letting the past incidences affect his future and he has overcome them. It will get better as the weeks go on, Morfydd, and you really have a good reason to be proud of your boy....Aileenxxx