General Chat

Righto Capn`, all fixed, try it now.

And a huge great hammer to put him out with

Hey , Fat Lady, I`ve got a big drill, and some pliers, if that helps

oops!! Maggie did not see your last reply we must have crossed lines thank you for the fruit. I shall keep Boris chained to my side..I believe that we are still waiting on a dentist and a vet. ;-))))))))))

Evening everyone, This is FAT LADY, Please, stop fooling around with Boris, whatever you all saw was not Boris as he might look like a pussy cat but is in fact very dangerous to except to myself and Maggie. I have had a busy afternoon in the galley and he has been here all the time. I am glad to see that the Madam of the Brothel has returned yesterdays dirty dishes. that is also a good sign otherwise they would not get any food. The rules are as follows and to be remembered. I am the COOK not a waitress or delivery person. BY THE ORDERS OF THE ADMIRAL.. I am in charge of the kitchen or galley and what I say and do goes for everyone, unless the Admiral says otherwise. Please keep your dirty paws away form the galley unless it is meal times and away from Boris unless you would like to be "pawless" FAT LADY COOK Dinner Menu to follow.

Yay finaly found that roaming croc, he was lurking outside the sluts cabin, with a huge grin on his face......what have you ladies been doing to him? As to the cats, I think I heard a meow in the hold while on my Boris hunt. Maybe you'd better go down there and have a look. Lindy, big box of stawberries, raspberries, melon and guava for you outside galley door. Im hanging on to Boris for a while so that he can recover, and he still needs a dentist. Maggie

Here we go again, just about to sit down for a bite to eat, and get called to the bridge. That damn Sat Nav mast is down again. Ibet by now the ship is well off course. Have to go aloft,again, with me tools, and do some screwing and bolting.

Slutty Jean you are priceless. pmsl You can have Wil Smith, just wanna see the bow legs and the big smile.

Good afternoon all, had I nice rest in my cabin, although smells a bit musty (or is that me??) Has any one seen my cats tess, tickles. I cant find them anywhere, has boris eaten today or would he be quite partial to tess, tickles? Lady Marmalade

Even security needs a break sometime and of course a little pleasure, be warned i'm watching and listening, oh hello were did those flowers come from they look a bit battered are they for me!!! David ( security ) Be Afraid

Boris, Boris, here puss puss. Where is that flaming croc. Pussssssssssssss. Maggie

Head of security on my rounds, Hi liz pleased to here you were under me i had'nt noticed!!! as i was so tired last night after dinner with the Admiral and Mr Fix It were the wine flowed freely, must have fallen asleep, sorry.!!! Hey fat lady cook i hear that usless croc has escaped from the galley i did warn you if it's not back and under control i will Donk it, so i'm on my way to check up on it. We could get Mr Fix It to sort out it's dodgey teeth, i'll gladley help i could administer the anesthetic DONK. David ( security ) Be Afraid

Good afternoon everyone: just taking a stroll round the decks Hello Strump: nice to see you could join us, are you enjoying the cruise? Spun any good yarns today? Lunch was excellent wasn't it! What a shame lots of people missed it. We are sailing (!) .... towards the Cape Verde Islands, which we should reach late this evening. Baz: Mr. Fixit you're doing a great job. Hope you didn't drink too much Scotch last night, you may be needed in the engine room later. Madam: Are your girls well rested now? Or are they having a siesta? Mommylonglegs: Thanks for keeping me informed of all the passengers, nice to meet Lady Marmalade, perhaps she can keep that rich widow, Strump, company. Speak to you all later, I hope everyone will be around after dinner. Lindy: you are a very well organised Cook, glad the 'copter is dropping off some more supplies.

Oi Slutty Jean lmao - again. I,m trying to do my crossword. Somebody normally delivers the meals and collects the dishes afterwards, whats going on with that new cook. Now then Jean, I have LL Cool Jay and Wil Smith in my cabin, don't need no firm and juicy cucumbers. Sharon Stone said Wil is a very big boy, he had to be taped down in a nude scene for his new film IRobot, Ding Dong

MESSAGE FOR THE ADMIRAL. I have ordered fresh fruit, veg and meat which should arrive by chopper in the late afternoon. Apologies for such a poor lunch. The Fat Lady, Cook LUNCH MENU FOR ADMIRAL, DR. LEGS, DAVE CROC. HATER AND PASSANGERS Parsnip soup Cottage Pie Herb tomato and onion salad Canned fuit salad and cream. Crew to report to the galley for lunch, sorry no salad as we are short of fresh supplies, Boris did a right old mess in Maggie's garden before she could catch a hold of him. Lady Anne, Please make sure your "girls" collect their lunch half an hour before the crew sit down for lunch. FOR NEW CREW AND PASSANGERS Cucumber sandwiches will be served with tea or coffee for those of you who have missed lunch. The Fat Lady, Cook

Slutty Jean, You don't want to mess around with Boris? Please inform Lady Anne that it the dishes are not returned poste haste their will be no lunch for the brothel. FAT LADY COOK

Hay up don't panic slutty Jean, I'm here, just been keeping my ears to the ground, they were stapled there actually. theres some real freaks on this boat. The new sluts should settle down soon and become more controllable hopefully, just keep them away from Maggies garden!!

Hi Maggie, Not much, I expect we shall a have a lot more passengers boarding and the Pantry is full except for fresh vegies. I shall have a word with the radio operator if we have one and have some supplies flown in. Catch you all later FAT LADY

Thank you, you must make sure whoever does the dental work on Boris makes friends with him first. Not too sure how he will react to a stranger shoving their head in his mouth. Maggie

Morning Lindy, Tomatoes, lettice, spring onions, some salvaged cucumbers(they are a bit bent), potatoes, onions, have a glut of parsnips, can you do anything with them? Boris is looking great, must ask the captain if there is a dentist on board as that back left bottom tooth looks a bit dodgy. Maggie