General Chat

Jean: Got your film goddesses muddled dearie! It was Mae West! which is what we'll probably need before much longer if these storms keep going. I am concerned about tess,tickles, have they been found yet? They won't like these rough seas (but then who does!) Make sure that croc. is tied up too! Oh Nurse Gladys, so glad you're around: Mommylonglegs is going to need some help in her capacity as Doctor if the passengers keep wandering about bumping on the deck rails.

On my way slutty Jean, my fluffy balls in my hands. Has the bring and buy sale finished yet or could I trade tess, tickles in for a night with Will?? He is rich isnt he?? Lady Marmalade

If I see grandpa Jim he can certainly help me. Its hell out here. Im franticly tying down and covering up everything. Maggie

Maggie, Will do! He likes sleeping in his hammock, I think that I will tie him down, that way he won't fall out. ATTENTION ALL CREW. The Galley is closing due to bad weather. FAT LADY

Gwynneth: Couldn't the cabin boy be one of the not very tall people? Mommylonglegs: I'm glad to have found you: have just received a radio message that a Kevin Pollard is thinking of joining us (see his thread). We need men to help David and Baz out: hope Grampa Jim is still around and willing to help Margaret in the garden: haven't heard form Daniel have you? margaret can you speak to grampa Jim about the garden please. Joanne, glad you're feeling better. If the weather doesn't get better, Mr FixIt had better check the Lifeboats and make sure they are OK to launch if needed. We are still a few miles away from the chain of Cape Verde Islands, so hopefully we'll at least make it to one of them before anything happens : of course it would be preferable if nothing untoward happens, but we'd better be prepared. Paying Guests!!!! Now Hear this! Make sure that you have all your valuables securely packed, if we DO have to take to the lifeboats, you will have priority! David Security Guard: Cn you estimate how many Lifeboats we may need to launch? Please advise a.s.a.p.

Speaking of wind, there is a terrible smell coming from the bar area and Baz is the only one in there? I think the ale has gone straight through him. Lady Marmalade

Lindy bring Boris up to the galley, He hates this rough weather, is making him a bit snappy. Im off to the garden to check that my flowers, fruit and veg is ok, and not getting too much of a battering from all this wind and rain. Maggie

male nurse reporting for duty at last...ive been kept extremely busy on shore,and some of you are to blame...i will be discussing this with the doc,and an announcement will be made shortly. nurse gladys emanuel.

Aye,Aye, Capn`, On me way, just finishing me pint.

`Sluts` cabin, tools, screwing and hammering, not coming down there to do even more work.

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THIS IS THE ADMIRAL SPEAKING! I have to warn you, ladies and gentlemen that we are experiencing some rather rough seas, please do not wander around the ship unecessarily you may get washed overboard. Security Guard! Ah there you are! Can you make sure that if you do give that croc. some dental treatment that he is totally knocked unconscious, we don't want him going amok! Mr FixIt!!!! You are needed in the Engine Room: they are having problems keeping the rudder on course for Cape Verde Islands. Where is he!!!! Still in the bar? Madam Anne: Just be careful what you get up to tonight: You may get more than bow legs! Has anyone seen Madame Purser? Can she please report to my cabin a.s.a.p. and where is young Daniel?

Baz, Why don't you pop by the sluts cabin, its the bring and buy sale, everybody is here. Come and join the party bring your tools, plenty of screwing and hammering to be done.

Might as well help myself. I`ll start with a pint first

Blimey, where is everybody, have they all got food poisoning, or fell over board or what. ?

Now all`s ok, I`ll go and get my jab I think. Just have to find my way, no ones about . What`s in here, blimey , a bar. Gonna get me a drink. Do I get a discount for being crew, ?

I've check the hold and there is still no sign of tess, tickles. Oh my what a quandry I am in, you see they belonged to my very rich, very late husband - Lord Ivor Hugen. I made a promise that I would always look after his Tess, Tickles. I could never forgive myself if my big fluffy balls of fur have come across danger. Oh where are my pussy cats Lady Marmalade

Security here Fix It please be careful when your screwing up the mast, don't want any misshaps, if you'll hang on i'll come and help you sort out the waste of space crocodile, i'll hold it while you donk it with your big hammer, we could pull all it's teeth out then it would'nt be dangerous, could only give a nasty suck. David ( security ) Be Afraid

Will someone please tell me what's happening. I was skiving in a lifeboat and I've just woke up. :-o Yawwwwnnn

Baz, Please remember that what you eat comes out of my kitchen so be very careful how you treat Boris. Maggie, Make sure you take good care of Boris and keep him away from Dave and Baz.. FAT LADY COOK P.S. I don't want Boris to pick up bad habits by hanging around the brothel.

MESSAGE FOR THE ADMIRAL Due to bad weather the chopper could not deliver the supplies, so once again I have had to make do with what we have. DINNER MENU FOR ADMIRAL DR. LEGS, DAVE THE CROC. HATER AND PAYING PASSANGERS. Cream of Parsnip soup Melon and smoked gammon Southern fried chicken (not kentucky) Mash and gravy Stewed guavas or strawberries and cream red or white wine cheese and biscuits coffee and brandy. FOR THE CREW AND THE BROTHEL Same menu except no alcohol, cheese and biscuits or guavas or strawberries. Will have to make do with fresh raspberries. FAT LADY, COOK