General Chat

What time is it, gettin` light, must be time for breakfast, must get there first, and make friends with the cook.

Wonder what she`s like, a dragon, or a really nice person who needs a few jobs done. Got to stop talking to myself, must be the scotch.

I love this time of the day/night, so quiet, peaceful, sun comin` up on the horizon, totally flat sea, and the makin` of a lovely day.

Back to my berth now, and into my bunk, aahhh, lovely, hear and feel the gentle throb of engines, and slowly drift into the world of make belief,after a very long, and eventful day. Still hungry though, something to look forward to in the mornin`. Must set the alarm for 04.00am. Night world, God bless.

Brilliant Baz lol lol lol lol

Please, Please allow me to join the ship, What a ghastly time I've been having in my dingy just waiting to be rescued, I'm trying to get to pastures new to find a rich husband - yours Lady Marmalade

Good morning doctor I had an excellent night thank you, must have been the mushroom and herb omelette I had for my supper.

As I have been at sea lost for 6 months now I am not sure what is expected of me. Please advise me and point me in the right direction Lady Marmalade

What the devil is in those injections, my god what a fantasic feeling, can I have some more please!! I feeel good doo bee doo bee doobeedoo, I new that I would yeah!!! Lady Marmalade

Good Morning one and all, "Yawnnnn" Hope you all slept well and enjoyed your breakfast. Baz, The galley is locked after dinner and that is when Boris is allowed to roam around "FREELY" as he has not yet eaten human flesh I am sure there is always a first time. Do not attempt to make friends with Boris as the only two people he is friendly with is Maggie and myself. P.S. if you page back you will see what was for breakfast. Good Morning Maggie, I need lots of fresh vegies for salads, shall be down to see you shortly or is it up? Pop in for a cuppa as Boris would love to see you. Have lots to do in the Galley this morning after cleaning up the breakfast mess....I could do with a dishwasher. FAT LADY THE COOK

Morning Lindy, Tomatoes, lettice, spring onions, some salvaged cucumbers(they are a bit bent), potatoes, onions, have a glut of parsnips, can you do anything with them? Boris is looking great, must ask the captain if there is a dentist on board as that back left bottom tooth looks a bit dodgy. Maggie

Thank you, you must make sure whoever does the dental work on Boris makes friends with him first. Not too sure how he will react to a stranger shoving their head in his mouth. Maggie

Hi Maggie, Not much, I expect we shall a have a lot more passengers boarding and the Pantry is full except for fresh vegies. I shall have a word with the radio operator if we have one and have some supplies flown in. Catch you all later FAT LADY

Hay up don't panic slutty Jean, I'm here, just been keeping my ears to the ground, they were stapled there actually. theres some real freaks on this boat. The new sluts should settle down soon and become more controllable hopefully, just keep them away from Maggies garden!!

Slutty Jean, You don't want to mess around with Boris? Please inform Lady Anne that it the dishes are not returned poste haste their will be no lunch for the brothel. FAT LADY COOK

MESSAGE FOR THE ADMIRAL. I have ordered fresh fruit, veg and meat which should arrive by chopper in the late afternoon. Apologies for such a poor lunch. The Fat Lady, Cook LUNCH MENU FOR ADMIRAL, DR. LEGS, DAVE CROC. HATER AND PASSANGERS Parsnip soup Cottage Pie Herb tomato and onion salad Canned fuit salad and cream. Crew to report to the galley for lunch, sorry no salad as we are short of fresh supplies, Boris did a right old mess in Maggie's garden before she could catch a hold of him. Lady Anne, Please make sure your "girls" collect their lunch half an hour before the crew sit down for lunch. FOR NEW CREW AND PASSANGERS Cucumber sandwiches will be served with tea or coffee for those of you who have missed lunch. The Fat Lady, Cook

Oi Slutty Jean lmao - again. I,m trying to do my crossword. Somebody normally delivers the meals and collects the dishes afterwards, whats going on with that new cook. Now then Jean, I have LL Cool Jay and Wil Smith in my cabin, don't need no firm and juicy cucumbers. Sharon Stone said Wil is a very big boy, he had to be taped down in a nude scene for his new film IRobot, Ding Dong

Good afternoon everyone: just taking a stroll round the decks Hello Strump: nice to see you could join us, are you enjoying the cruise? Spun any good yarns today? Lunch was excellent wasn't it! What a shame lots of people missed it. We are sailing (!) .... towards the Cape Verde Islands, which we should reach late this evening. Baz: Mr. Fixit you're doing a great job. Hope you didn't drink too much Scotch last night, you may be needed in the engine room later. Madam: Are your girls well rested now? Or are they having a siesta? Mommylonglegs: Thanks for keeping me informed of all the passengers, nice to meet Lady Marmalade, perhaps she can keep that rich widow, Strump, company. Speak to you all later, I hope everyone will be around after dinner. Lindy: you are a very well organised Cook, glad the 'copter is dropping off some more supplies.

Head of security on my rounds, Hi liz pleased to here you were under me i had'nt noticed!!! as i was so tired last night after dinner with the Admiral and Mr Fix It were the wine flowed freely, must have fallen asleep, sorry.!!! Hey fat lady cook i hear that usless croc has escaped from the galley i did warn you if it's not back and under control i will Donk it, so i'm on my way to check up on it. We could get Mr Fix It to sort out it's dodgey teeth, i'll gladley help i could administer the anesthetic DONK. David ( security ) Be Afraid

Boris, Boris, here puss puss. Where is that flaming croc. Pussssssssssssss. Maggie