General Chat

Good evening Dorothy. So pleased to see you again. Its been a long time. I have been so busy with my family. I do hope you forgive me.

Sassy, I was going to wait up for you so we could have a natter but am far too exhausted... The kitchen is clean so there is nothing for you to do unless one of the guests gets a craving for a cooked meal at midnight.....heh! heh! See if you can convince any of the night owls to keep you company on the island. A simple breakfast will be just fine as everyone stuffed themselves on leftovers. How is your room and how are you getting on with the rest of the staff in your quarters? Well! I shall bid you a good night and shuffle off to my nice cozy flat...... Fat Lady Cook

Oh hello Jenny - gosh, that was a hectic day wasn't it - yes, thankyou - I will have a G & T please Elaine. Now then Jenny, what do you think? Pretty successful on the whole, the staff have all worked very hard, with Gwynne keeping everyone on their toes, and Chef Lindy preparing such wonderful food - her assistant helped too I don't doubt, it's good that we have two of them isn't it? Cheers!! Now, I must make one thing clear, in your absence I've had a lot of bother with that pet crocodile, what are your feelings about it ? I don't object to staff having a pet, but it must be kept out of the way of the Guests, don't you think? This afternoon, one of the Guests - a very odd looking Aussie chap who seems to think he's a Man of God - though I don't know WHICH God - reported that the Croc had eaten a child. Of course I checked this out and foound that it was in fact an advertising sign for the Bonny Baby Competition- but very worrying for a short while. Perhaps you could give the matter some thought. Another drink anyone? Then I must go up and see to poor, lonely Mr. Blue - haven't seen him since midday.

Dorothy. will give some thought on that little matter. I am not too pleased with a few things at the moment. ......... Will be in touch shortly. David. How are you doing. Is there much more essential work to be done. We are really getting nearer to our Grand Opening. We have quiet a few Distinguished guests arriving. Everything must be ready. Any problems, please report to the Management ASAP.

Enters a mysterious figure....clothed in seven veils of extraordinary hues... round and round she twirls...the veils flowing....until one by one she sheds them (bit like a snakeskin really)..purple, red, orange, green,yellow, saffron, blue, pink (well there was one extra)....the music quickens....the dance gets more frenetic, the veils are now being cast off at a fierce rate.....until just one is left....the pink one....and there is the Snake Woman alias The Amazing Fan Dancer alias the Juggler...alias the Ping Pong Person....tatoo-free!!!! She has had them lasered....a bit sore but heck..Art is Art....(Forgot to mention her Sumo Wrestling) short but interesting phase.... She is Beautiful.......

OK Jenny, I look forward to hearing from you shortly. Now I really must go up and give Mr. Blue his supper, he will have wondered where I got to. Looking into Reception Good Gracious - have you seen this? (Points to vision of scarves making an exhibition) Can I leave you to deal with it? 'Nite, Nite See you tomorrow

The Entertainments manager watches the fireworks with the remaining guests. What they lack in quantity they make up for in quality and all are impressed. She waves them off at the jetty makes her way to her room, too tired to join the rest in the bar. The Hotel is officially open tomorrow and the first guests will arrive. There are still some job vacancies which is a bit of a worry..................................... And so to bed. Gwynne (ents)

Is that a Buttercup I see? No, my eyes must be deceiving me. OMGoodness. A lady in Drag, sorry rags. How on earth did she enter this establishment. Get the Security Guard. Get this person out of my sight. Disgusting,Disgusting. A meeting must be called tomorrow. What on earth has been going on in my absence?

FAT LADY COOK I am soo sorry that I missed you today. I have field hockey every weekend. It realy takes it out of me after working the night shift. But we won the division. Leagues next weekend. Looking at the amount of food that is left, I'd say we did a fine job. The phone is ringing, so I will put up the breakfast menu later. SASSY

*stretches and yawns* The guests begin to arrive today. I hope the staff are ready. Didn't see my 'father' at all yesterday. I hope that means he's left the island. Good to see the Doc back. *puts kettle on* Gwynne

(Somewhere in the grounds) Coochy, coochy, coochy, here Sweetyikins. Where are you, little one? No wonder Sweetykins escaped past me this morning, what with all this bamboo all over the place. Giant Pandas are so unpredictable! Come on baby, don't be afraid. Now I wonder if this butterfly net will be big enough to catch him? I'd better lurk out here until I find him - Pandas have very sharp claws and I don't want him getting at the guests. Dearie dearie no!

Good Morning Gwynne. May I join you for tea? Earl Grey will be fine for me. Thank You.

NUDGE> URGENT MEMO. To, The Head Housekeeper. From, Dr. Longlegs. Md.Me. Starting from Monday 28th February 1905. All of your Household staff are expected to report to my surgery for General Medical. Twenty four hours (24) prior to this examination, you should take a bath or shower. Under ANY circumstances, there should be no sexual activities. No alcohol to be taken, only soft drinks. You may eat until 12 hours before the examination. Thank you. Dr. Longlegs. MD. ME. ***********************************************

Good Morning, Doctor, The ceremony went well, didn't it? We are expecting quite a few guests today, have you inspected the chalets? Gwynne (ents) Hoping the Doc hasn't heard about the Australian vicar.

Report to Surgery??? no Alcohol??? Not on your nelly!!!!! She might find out where all those ping pong balls went to.....

Chalets have been inspected. All to my approval. Next job is to inspect the kitchens. I am full of admiration for our Head Gardener. She has done a wonderful job. What a worker. I just wish a few more would take their job as seriously. What time are the first guests expected? Must speak to you in Private for a few minutes, dear Gwynne. Jenny.

*frets* I'm really very busy this morning Doctor, is it very important? Gwynne (ents)

*buzzing noise* Oh, sorry, Doctor, that's my pager. I'd better go and see why I'm needed. *runs as fast as is possible on 3 inch heels* Gwynne (ents)

Dear MS Roff. Thank you for applying for a position within our Hotel Complex. May I ask, what hours are you available? This will help us to decide what vacancy would be suitable for you. General Dogsbody, is not really a very nice title. To fill this ost you really do need to be available many times during the day and evenings. We are in desparate need of a someone to take charge of our Laundry Department. Dr. Longlegs. Md. Me.

*Fat Lady cook shuffles past reception on her way to the kitchen and notices a ginger bud on the plant 'with the roving eyes' and mutters to herself* Humph! I did not know that the Giant Venus Fly Trap had ginger flowers, it looks like a lock of red hair.. I must ask Maggie about that!.. Oh Well! lets see what kind of a mess Sassy has left for me to clean up... I cannot be expected to do everything on my own...when are we getting more kitchen staff?...'mumble'...'moan'!!