General Chat

I didn't breast feed either of my two but that is because I decided that I didn't want to. When I had my son (now 9) I was only 19 & all the nursing staff made me feel as though I was the only one not feeding myself & I was doing something really wrong. I was quite literally bullied by my midwife, which made me more determined not to. It didn't affect the way I bonded with my son (like I was told it would). In fact it meant hubby, mother or anyone else who offered could feed him & give me a much needed rest! My daughter is now 3 & I again didn't want to breast feed. This time all the staff (from my doctor, midwife, staff at hospital & even health visitor), didn't seem at all interested. I was asked my intentions, said bottle & that was it - no conversation about breast is best, nothing. I don't regret it & certainly don't feel as though I have failed either of them or myself. They most definatly haven't suffered for it, but new mothers must do what they feel is best, without being bullied. That bit I do feel angry about! Dawn

As i have mentioned in a previous message.....in sweden only 2% of women DONT feed at birth. Although i dont have clear figures for how many women in swededn are still feeding at 6 weeks i feel fairly sure that the reason babies are breast fed at birth is because hospitals dont provide any alternative.... a lot of hospitals in the Uk still provide mother with bottled milk should they require it. There are now a good many hospitals where if you decide to bottle feed(and it is still your choice) you have to bring in your own equipment to do it. Lets face it ladies we have the eqipment for breast feeding with us all the time from the age of about 13.

Hi Christine I breast fed all four of mine, although I wasn't breast fed myself. I had my first son back in 1985 and at that time my doctor told me I was the only breastfeeding mother in his (large) practice), hopefully there are lots more nowadays! I fed my son for 6 months, when my milk dried up, through lack of experience on my part. With my second child in '87 I fed her for two and a half years. I had terrible problems with cracked nipples and mastitis at the beginning but my health visitor was brilliant and encouraged me to keep going. I even had a breast lump removed when my daughter was 10 weeks old and was able to take her into hospital with me and continue to feed her! My third child I fed for nine months and she 'gave up' the breast at 9 months. She started biting and turning away so I knew it was time to stop. My only real problem was with my fourth child. The first 6 weeks were fine and then he failed to thrive and after not putting on any weight for a good few weeks he was hospitalised. After all the checks were done on him and nothing was found, my milk was checked. Although I had plenty of milk, the quality of it was found not to be good enough and I had to supplement him with a bottle. Of all my children it is only my youngest who seems to catch every bug going, colds , ear infections etc on a regular basis. None of the others were 'sickly babies' but I blame that more on the fact that he wasn't getting any good nourishment in the early days, as my breast milk wasn't really doing him any good. If I had known, he would have probably been better off on a bottle from the beginning. There are lots of well publisiced benefits to breastfeeding, but there are downsides too. It is tiring, none of mine slept through the night for a long time. It can tie you down. My three eldest wouldn't take a bottle from anyone of expressed milk, so consequently I had to be there all the time. It doesn't just come naturally, you have to 'learn' how to do it properly and it can be painful when you get it wrong! Having said all that, I'd still do it all again. Thankfully things are changing and mother's are encouraged and helped to breast feed, if they want to. Also changes in the law , in Scotland, where restaurants, public buildings, etc are prosecuted if they don't permit a woman to feed her child, all help in making breastfeeding more acceptable. Christine

Christine I know what you mean about other womens intolerance of breastfeeding... none of my friends breast fed, even all three of my sister-in-laws refused to try the breast. I was amazed how many times i heard 'its not natural', my best friend, who loved her babies, once said to me ' I'm not having that thing hanging off of me when it wants, its bottles or nothing!!' To say i was shocked at her attitude is an understatement!! Each to her own at the end of the day, but to call your baby a thing ???!!!! Yvette

I was not breast fed but at the age of 48 I am just finishing my degree so i assume I have some intelligence! LOL I breast fed my daughter (even with cracked nipples) until she was about 7 months old. I also breast fed my twin sons (who were born with a tooth each...Oww!) until they were 8 months old although I did have to top them up with a bottle from 5 months old. I would breast feed them first and then give them a bottle. All my children were very healthy babies and toddlers and rarely had a cold and never upset stomachs. Although they did get everything that was going when they got to nursery school. One point to note... when I had to make up formula milk for the first time I had to ask my health visitor what to do... she was unsure as ALL her new mums breast fed! ( She was brilliant at supporting breast feeding mums.) Viv

Thanks yevette, i will be contacting several of the people who have posted on this tread over the next few days. i to have posted on the breast feeding in restarants message. I am amazed that there are still women out there who think is wrong. I know we each have the choice how we feed our babies but for other women to be so intolerent of women whoi choose to breat feed is quite beyond me.

Christine I breast fed all three of my children, i have added to the feeding in Restaurants thread. If you want any more info than is on there let me now i am happy to take part in anything that promotes breastfeeding and supports the Mums who are trying to do so. By the way, i was bottle fed as a baby. Yvette

shelli, prem babies come into a class of thier own. as medical science progresses babies who are really early have a very high survival rate. We are still rather unsure why some of these very early babies do better than others. I believe that there are studies that are watching these babies develop but as its only in the last 15 years that very early babies(pre term by more than 10 week)have survived in any great numbers there is little information that tells us how they develop and what problems they are likley to have. it seems to be a murky area as yet. i guess in another 20 years we will all know exactly what to expect from our early babies.

No im not a midwife, im a lactation consultant....i work with unisef and surestart......and occasionaly with the world health organisation.

Hi Christine, Myself, my sisters and brother were all breast fed. I also breast fed all three of my girls aswell....Are you a Midwife by any chance? Susie x

Thanks Christine, guessed there'd be a reason but as mine as long past that stage, i was just being nosey. The twins had trouble with speech, again put down to the fact they were prem. ( I swear if I had a quid for everytime something was blamed on the fact they were prem I'd SO rich LOL ) Their problem was quite severe, in fact at 3yrs they had the developmental age of 18mths, but was with average range by the time they was 5yrs. The other two had no problems, so p'haps it was the prem thing LOL All four weaned the same way, baby rice then mashed food, only differnece was I made allowances for the fact the twins were prem, and worked out their weaning date from their due date, as well as them letting me know by screaming after feeds as the milk wasn't enough. Thanks again for the info

good point shelli, i have children of 19 ,15 and 3 and for each of them the rules changes.....first 3 months, then 4 months then 6 months. How can we be expected to know when to wean? Well the 6 months rule is based on research done by the world health organisation and unisef. It suggests that babies do not digest solid foods properly untill they reach 6 months. The idea is that at six months a baby can sit on a highchair and has the hand eye co-ordination to get food from a tray to its mouth, this means he/she can feed himself. This approach promotes maturity of moth movemments leading to clearer speech. Also you find that children weaned like this are less likely to be faddy eaters as they are never given the mush sort of food that most of us have given our babies. The babies are given peices of real food well cooked and are able to taste individual flavours. It is new research and yet to be widly known but i think over the next five years this information will filter through the system and more and more mums will be weaning thier chidren this way. As for myself shelli, i fed mine mashed carrot and fairex.....just the same as everyone else, i dont feel the need to have another one to see if this new idea works but i have encouraged the mothers i come into contact with to give it a go, some have , some havent. Those that have say they thier children talk well and eat well, the downside is that its messy, and can take some time. The upside, no more mashing, promotes family meal times, much less fuss. Sorry if this is a bit rambling,,,, im trying to type quick as im being called for the breakfast run. Keep posting ladies, im very interested in all you have to say. christine

Christine You said.... Current research tells us that babies should be exclusivly 'Milk' fed untill 6 months then weaned onto mixed feeding(milk and solids) why is this date always changing??? when I had my eldest (13 in October) the age for weaning was 3 mths? When I had the twins (9 in october) and the youngest (7 in Sept) the age was 4 mths?

I was breast fed 'till about 8 months, when I apparently bit Mum so hard I drew blood! My two were both breast fed, the first for 9months, I felt I should stop when I found out I was preg with the 2nd, having been told that it helps the uterus contract, I thought it might make thing uncomfy for the tiny one! it was just as difficult getting established with the 2nd one although there was only an 8 month break. It was worthwhile, much simpler, easier and better for them, as it turned out both had an allergy to cow protein (in baby formula). I also used to donate milk to SCBU via the National Childbirth trust, bet that's not allowed these days, too risky!!! Suex

I breast fed my daughter for 8 months then put her on a cup.I was a midwife then myself. When my daughter had her son aged just 16 it was a concealed pregnancy but she wanted to feed him -he was in foster care for 8 weeks then she started by expressing and drinking fennel tea and fed for 3 months -quite an achievement and not helped by a nasty health visitor who told her to give the baby a bottle then put him to the breast and when he didn`t gain weight -although he slept all night -reported her to social worker. Rosalyn

I was breast fed for almost a year and when my first child was born in 1971 I never even thought about bottle feeding him. In those days we were in hospital for 10 days after the birth with a first baby and I had a fantastic ward sister who helped me so much. Out of 10 beds in the ward there were only 3 of us breastfeeding though - it was not the 'done thing' in 1971! I fed my son for 4 months, but in those days we were advised to give solids from 6 weeks! I went back on the pill when he was 4 months old and my milk dried up completely. I was devastated, I loved breast feeding him. My 2nd child was born in May 1976 at the start of one of the hottest summers for years. I breast fed her with no problems for 10 months, (and no bottles to sterilise) and only stopped then because she bit me and then laughed - more than once! My 3rd child was born in December 1980 and was breast fed for 13 months until one day she decided she wouldn't feed any more. She's still a stubborn wotsit now! My 4th child I fed until he was 8 months until he refused to take any more. He's now almost 21 and has never drunk milk of any sort since then - he doesn't even drink tea or coffee. My elder daughter wanted to breastfeed, but, because of all the drugs she was given after an emergency c-section, then haemmorraging 24 hours later, she wasn't able to. She was in Epsom General Hospital, which held a special breastfeeding award, in June 1998 and most of the mothers were breastfeeding and the help was fantastic. However, when my younger daughter had her son there 8 months later, she got no help at all. I was with her at the birth and her son latched on within minutes. The midwives had disappeared, and I was showing daughter the way to feed as I had always done with my children (start gradually with a minute each side, increasing slowly with each feed). A midwife came back after about 30 minutes and told me I was showing her wrongly- now it was 5 minutes one side only for one feed and 5 minutes the other side with the next feed and so on. Grandson had a very powerful suck and daughter got very, very sore. She wasn't able to express (neither had I been, ever, but show me a baby and I turned into a milking machine!) and got so sore that she dreaded feed time. She persevered for 10 days, but was so stressed that grandson was crying all the time and her milk wasn't enough for him (she thought) that she put him on formula milk. I loved feeding all my babies - and even fed my friend's prem twin son (6 weeks younger than my 3rd child) whilst his Mum was visiting his sister who was still in hospital! My daughter on one side and friend's son on the other. Sorry this has turned into a bit of an epic - but you did ask! LOL Sue xx

sadly not jo jo.......statistics are in there somewhere. we are one of the lowest in europe

Hi Christine No I wasn't a breastfeed baby. When I had my son I didn't want to breastfeed, but second pregancy I thought I'd have a go and did. It was great, wished I'd done it first time round. Had no idea of all those benefits though Christine, did know it was best for the baby. I thought most women did breatfeed nowadays but maybe not? Luv JoJo xx

Thank you all so much for your stories, you should all feel very proud of yourselves. christine

I was bottle fed myself, but was determined to breast feed my own two children, as I had read that this would help to avoid allergies. (I had severe childhood eczema and associated that with being bottle fed, rightly or wrongly). I joined the NCT and had a lot of ante- and post-natal support, including a home visit from the breast counsellor when I hit problems breastfeeding when my son, my first child, was about 3 weeks old. I was also anxious that he was not putting on enough weight in the early months, so I went to have him weighed nearly every week at the clinic. (I later read that the weight charts are calculated for babies who are bottle fed, and that lower weights are normal for breast-fed babies - needless to say, the second time round, I was much more relaxed about having my daughter weighed!) My daughter proved to be allergic to cow's milk when I tried her with it at 12 months, so I gave her goat's milk instead. Neither of my children ever had formula milk; I found breast feeding much more convenient than messing about with bottles and sterilizers. I fed my son until he was about eighteen months old, and my daughter until she was about 2 and a half (evening feed only by then!), and really enjoyed it. I would never condemn anyone who didn't want to breast feed or found themselves unable to, but it would be good to be able to feed our babies (discreetly) in public places without disapproval. When I was feeding I was not happy being asked to do so in restaurant toilets etc.