General Chat

I'd like to offer my services to such an important cause. I have experience as a GA (General Assistant/Glamourous Assistant!) and also connections to those on the inside... Becx (in anticipation)

I think Mike is looking for charm here, Gwynnie:-) I win you lose.....BC

That spells Gaga Bec.. should be me!!!...lol BC

Hi folks After much consideration I have decided we need to take the following steps to solve the problems that young children cause in our stores. All stores will have fully equipped crèches available. For those parents who feel unhappy leaving their children with strangers, we will provide a fully trained children’s nanny to assist them with their shopping, thus allowing the parent to concentrate on spending money, rather than having to worry about what their child is doing. If these measures fail we may have to consider insisting that all under 5’s are gagged and strapped into shopping trolleys, but I fear this may be unpopular with childcare organisations. Another alternative would be to make it advantageous for parents of small children to order over the Internet. Perhaps we could offer them an incentive of some kind? This would have the added bonus that retired people and those who are looking for romance will have more room in the aisles to stand and chat and enjoy the ambience of the store. Dee (sorry I have no 'ologies but I am certified) ;-))

Lovin' your work, Dee. I was wondering about Tazers to rid the aisles of troublesome pedestrians, what do you think? BC, if Mike is looking for charm he's struck out big time. However, I have charisma a-plenty and no obscene tattoos which has to put me ahead in the race. Gwynne

By the way I am giving serious consideration to slogans. Dee ;-))

* Gasps.....Are you calling my tattoo obsene, Gwynnne? Welllllllll! I am flabbergasted...it is a hymn to good taste....BC

I have given serious consideration to what we can do for the older children visiting our stores For the over fives may I suggest we introduce The Hatpin Club Each child will be required to search for photos of Hatpin. These photos need to be strategically placed. I suggest that the crisps, sweets, biscuits and cereals aisles will be the best places. This will encourage parents to buy large quantities of junk foods. The photos will have to be moved on a regular basis to make it challenging for the child, and to encourage parents to buy our less popular brands. On completion of the first search they could be given a ‘Friend of Hatpin Badge’ . Subsequent weeks they could have a card stamped and after they have completed around 1000 visits to the store perhaps we could reward them by giving them their very own ‘Cuddly’ Hatpin soft toy This scheme will only work well if the person who has recommended it receives the first Cuddly Hatpin, which she will add to her already extensive collection of soft toys. Dee ;-))

Bec, you arrive as on a wave, wonderful timing. To have a GA on the team ensures our future. I'm assuming that apart from being a Glamorous Assistant you are not also a Give Away (or maybe from Gamblers Anonymous??). Good then that's settled, I feel your calling is to be our Guardian Angel. That will give our whole operation a certain cachet, a 'je ne sais quoi' as they say in the classics. Go shine ahead of us, lighten our path, especially along some of the shadier aisles. Mike

Dee, your vision knows no bounds. Already, I've heard us being discussed on Platform 4 at Waterloo Station this afternoon. This sort of flow enriches the whole concept of the 'Friends'. An agent has approached us discreetly querying whether a similar operation could be set up for Thames Water with particular emphasis on having 'Friends of their sewerage system'. Their kind enquiry has been declined. Mike

Due to my youth and energy I'm happy to be our 'Poster Girl'... unless BC's beaten me to it? love becx

*applies for post of poster girl* Gwynne

*Rips up Gwynne's application form, burns the shreds and eats the ashes!*

*re-applies for job on asbestos paper* Gwynne

I note there have been no takers for the Male multi skilling sub committee. I guess we all know that would be a waste of time and money which could be spent on the gold and green uniform I have already ordered from Armani.

*Finds roll of asbestos paper.... wraps Gwynne up in it and locks her in the DVD store cupboard*

Having had a good nights sleep, I feel I am up to the challenge of the overseas marketing program. However, I will not preside over a large multi-national take over of other countries at the expense of the 'mum and dad' stores, which we all know are the backbone of any nation. So, I would like to propose that I am granted a fairly large budget, to be used at my discretion, and a fairly large staff, so that we can travel and do proper feasibility studies of various countries. If the board accepts my proposal I will begin interviewing staff very soon. Vonny Director OMP :) LOL

Vonny, amongst your international studies please research and let us all know what the various countries use by way of trolleys. I'm imagining mini-gondolas in the watery aisles Venice, mini-flying carpets up and down the aisles in the Middle East, sledges in the icy aisles of Greenland, etc. Happy travels. Mike

Mike, I'm on to it already. Did you know that the wheels on Aust trolleys are multi-directional and the ones in USA - Colorado are fixed??? Makes pushing a trolley in each country quite a different experience! What has Tesco got? Vonny PS Could Jacquie - Oleander - be the co-director of OMP please?

Vonny does that mean that the wheels in Colorado, being fixed, don't actually go round? Intrigued by such an advanced concept. Mike