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Thanks Our Em,,,,can't wait...

CHAPTER FIFTEEN Guin woke with a start, her head quickly checking the smooth uncreased pillow lying next to her. “phew, “ she sighed, but as she did, she caught smell of a very whiffy nature…Glancing over at Mr Tibbles her very fat ginger cat.. who glared back indignantly, her nose then led her to look at her beside cabinet. There sat a plate of half eaten mature stilton. “ I knew I shouldn’t have had that ruddy cheese last night” Guin Moaned to herself “ I had the most horrendous nightmare, something about John Prescott and mint imperials” Guin sank back into the pillows and tried to piece togther what actually did happen last night. She could remember sitting with Susie Smithe in her wine bar, having a small sherry for dutch courage, but when Susie brought out the blue bucket, her mind became hazy.. Guin decided she better phone Susie to find out, but after ringing several times, to no answer, Guin gave up Susie must either be sleeping off a Lambrini induced coma or catching flies on a park bench somewhere… never mind, she would phone again later. But why the Dutch courage? And what on earth was Terina doing with that bicyle pump last night? And what was polly Annadin doing rumaging around in Steve Mc boffins bin? Someone banging on the door downstairs shook Guin from her thoughts… she lept (well stumbled) out of bed, throwing on her dressing gown, and quickly went downstairs to the shop. Fumbling with the keys to the shop door , Guin was about to give whoever was rapping loudly on the letter box short thrift, when she saw Steve Mc Boffin standing outside on the pavement, holding Guins handbag in front of him.. “ what the….” Guin stated as she opened the door… “ Miss De vere..” Steve, said quickly, smiling “ you left your bag in my taxi last night, I didn’t realize til it was too late and you had already disappeared into the station by then” Guin, groaned loudly and, grabbing the bag she dashed back upstairs to her bedroom… “ oh Mr Tibbles… what HAVE I been up too this time?”

*hopes it involves Johnny Depp*

Never touched his bin ..............or anything...........Thanks Em, real tonic.....

*thinks Gwynne shouldn't hold her breath* LOL Excellent as always Em!

Glad this is back Em, love reading it XXXXXX

*holds breath on the off chance*

* what a pity two jags was a dream*============>runs......

*hurls missiles at Polly* *continues to hold breath*

*turns blue*

Movie to be announced soon, but who ,will play who Holywood holds it's breath. as stars head for the casting couch,,,and thats just for the extra's parts

* thumps Gwynne on the back to start her breathing again*

Bicycle pump???!!!

Medic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nudge for Butters!

as long as Kathy Bates doesnt play me !:((

Very funny! well done once again Em! Mags. x

CHAPTER SIXTEEN Ms Jilly Mc Mad, the local Justice keeper had, had a bad night, and she arrived at Gr courthouse in a foul temper. It was so bloomin hot, her wig was itchy and she had broken her anvil last night trying to put up a picture of Les Battersby in her downstairs toilet. Jilly shrugged on her robes in a huff and glanced at the days Lists… “oh great” she muttered “ that stupid Charlie Foxtrot delta whatisname is up first… spoil my day before it starts why don’t you” Jilly flounced out of her chambers and went to find some ice cubes. Meanwhile, sitting impatiently in the dock was a certain Butcher called Charlie Foxtrot Elliot, chunnering to himself quietly about the injustice of it all… All he had tried to do was blow a ruddy hedgehog up with a smidging of semtex… after all, he was doing the world a favour wasn’t he? Nasty little flea ridden vermin…. Why lemonella had to have one as a pet and flaunt the thing in his butchers.. outrageous it was! Charlie Foxtrot, glanced around the courtroom… “ eeh good turn out… I say.. good turnout” he said.. to nobody in particular Indeed the court was fairly packed with most of the residents of GRrrr Street… well anything for a laugh… But, where on earth was the prosecution star witness? Miss lemonella … Word had it that Lemonella had told off a troll of the Ethernet but instead of being applauded had been sent on an anti swearing course in Coventry for 2 months… Now that really WAS injustice! Anyway… Jilly Mc Mad… walked into the courtroom ( balancing a bag of icecubes under her wig) and sat down “ oh its too hot for all this milarky” she grumbled “ silence in court” Jilly shouted, “ and stop spraying that fly spray about Bouffant Babs, and no.. before you ask Gwendoline housemartin this isn’t a Chinese takeaway and you cant order number 461” With that, Jilly banged down a soup ladle ( she had brought in to replace the anvil) then shuffled her papers menacingly, that’s if you can shuffle papers menacingly. “ Enough” she bellowed , ignoring the fact nobody had yet spoken, “ Guilt as charged, I sentence you to…” The Defence barraster jumped up alarmed, “ your honour.. wait… you have not heard any evidence yet” Miss Anna Marple raised her head from the back of the courtroom, crunching a mint humbug, she put down her knitting and peered at Jilly mc Mad… was that sweat dribbling down Jilly’s head? Jilly muttered to herself and sat back in her chair.. “ damn, I was hoping they wouldn’t notice” “well get on with it “she moaned, Jilly could feel a small trickle of water sliding down her neck. The icecubes were melting far too quickly. To Be continued…….. ( because I cant find the rest of the chapter I wrote down… damn!)

This is great Em - sort of an upmarket Archers......

Poor Lime! LOL