General Chat

Going back to the 70s now when my two were in comprehensive. The children who had special needs were taught by an ex teacher of a remand school. he was a lovely fellow, got on very well with the kids, he was also very big and stood no nonsense. We had some real tough lads at that school(I was a supervisor at lunch times), they had just brought under one roof about four different Forest of dean schools _only somebody who has knowledge of the parochial ways of the Forest will understand the problems (gang warfare/village warfare etc), we had knives, before there were knives! Kids were not excluded, they were sent to the special needs class and they stayed out of trouble afterwards. And, when I complained direct to this teacher when my son was bullied becaue he was considered a foreigner, (I had left by then), it was sorted out with no problem. We need some tough teachers, and teachers need to be protected from parents that winge (that is not directed at you Sharon, just a comment). Ann Glos

Good Luck to both you, and Grannie Annie on your meetings tomorrow.....I am sure we will be thinking about you, please let us know the outcome.....x

thanx for all the advice even if some of it is not what i want to hear, but it`s nice to hear other peoples views..abt rules in this house..we do have some but as to night times, they have never came in too late cos they know if they do they`ll not be allowed out the next night.. jamie(my 12 yr old) is normally a lovely kid, in primary he was always in the top group at school, he even organised sponsored runs for macmillan nurses and raised a few hundred pounds himself, so he`s not a bad kid at all, yes he has a few tantrums when he doesn`t get his own way but most kids do..luckily i don`t work so i am here for him and i make him do work from school..it`s just so hard when such a lovely lad goes off the rails.. sharon

Age 12 can be the start of nightmares for parents,, Perhaps some form of disipline can be given for the use of name calling a teacher ,which I'm sure you as a parent cant condone for whatever reasons caused the upset to begin with,they can appear to be little angles while not under our care ,but little devils with horns away from us,,, Maybe he will have learned from this and can curb his outbursts with the right direction,,,maybe some involvment in school activites will help him ?

Sharon have vou got to take your son with you in the morning?We have not been told if we have to take grandson. Annie

I appreciate that these are difficult times for you and I do hope that things get sorted out soon. But this said, behaviour such as this can not be allowed to happen in our schools. It does seem to me that there is too many excuses are made these days made on the grounds of Special Needs. Surely Special Needs suggest a disability of some sort? In my day, you new exactly where the boundaries of good and bad behaviours were. Dare to cross the line and you were caned, strapped, slippered or whatever. No excuses, it did not matter if you came from a broken home or if your dad was a doctor, whether you were top of the class of bottom of the class. For most, once was enough, you didn't try it again.

Peter, my eldest grandson is special needs.My daughter never knew for quite a while he was.He is 16 now.He is diabetic since 4 years of age.She screamed the house down as she did not want him special needs.He must be special needs though.The grandson now who we have trouble with is more special needs than the other grandson.He has emotional problems,after being taken off of his mum after 10 years and custody given to my son.He is on a risk register and mum is not allowed to see him.A girl at school called his mum a prostitute and said he was in care.He lost his temper and hit her.Exclusion from school for 32 days. Annie Ps The girl is still in school and he had to say sorry to her

kicked out again? so not the first time? what sanctions do you have at thome for bad behaviour in school or do the two not equate - do you remove treats and toys/playstations( whatever) if he is in trouble at school? You say he's bee in half and hour - and i guess this suspension thing has come to a head today .... why is he allowed to go out and play? he cannot be alowed to call teachers names, whores , nicknames or whatever . Teachers are worthy of respect and if a child cant maintain that respect then yes, maybe he should be excluded - i bet you'd go bonkers if teachers called him names. I do hope it gets sorted - education is such an asset to any youngster- they need it to set them up for this world, hard grind tho it is.

Hi Sharon, It is easy to judge, but much harder to deal with a youngster who is having massive problems, TC and good luck, love, Caz x

Hi Sharon, I must admit I was shocked at what son called his teacher. However, our 14-y-o son has been very badly behaved both at home and school recently, so from having a fair amount of freedom, with constraints, we came down on him like a ton of bricks, especially when the police became involved! He was excluded from school for 3 days, too. So - freedom went out the window for the time being. We found that he's been mixing with bad company, and do you know what? The first day of his exclusion, one of these boys called for him mid-morning! Flippin' heck, they'd arranged the whole thing! So I told this boy that while my son was excluded, he stayed at home doing school work. This boy didn't like it, but I told him 'tough - it's not up for discussion'. We've tried to handle it carefully, not bad-mouthing his 'friends' (though God knows it's tempting) and this evening he actually asked us to tell this group that he wasn't going out with them; he preferred the computer. Schoolwork etc seems to be gradually improving, too. I guess what I'm trying to suggest (well, in our experience) is be strict at first, but gradually back off when he's making an effort. Good luck, we only wish children came with an instruction manual! Take care. x

he`s back in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! have to go on friday to sort out a timetable and all the other stuff.. hope all is fine with grannie annie and sorry it was too late to reply to your question. talk tomorrow sharon ps thanx for all your opinions, it`s opened my mind a bit

I'm glad you managed to get your son back into school. I think that if schools are shown that parents and/or grandparents are prepared to 'fight' (probably not the right word!) their child's cause, they take notice. Good luck, and keep pushing for what your son needs. Sue xx

Sharon,We have to wait 24 hours and have whatever the outcome in writing.The headmaster could not tell the bench what started the fight off.Cos he never asked anyone.Then he said it was not about the fight why he was excluded,but by him hitting a member of staff that had restrain him for hitting the girl back.The woman was a helper to a boy in a wheelchair.I asked if she had done any training in restrain.The answer no.Asked if by law she should have touched him.No.If she had proper training grandson could not have hit her.Asked why she restrained him but let the girl carry on punching him in the face where he could not defend himself.No answer.My grandson had a great big bruise on his arm where the girl had hung off of his hair and was pinching the back of his arm.I took the photo signed by the doctor with me.It was the first the headmaster had known of this.Grandson went for his introduction yesterday to the secondary school and the report came back he was brilliant and no problems.To top it all there was no sign of the social worker that gives us support.I dont think so.They are useless.Thanks for everyone that has supported me.I really appreciate it. Annie

well. !!!!!! i`ve opened my gob too soon, jamie is now going to have to go to a special school for a few weeks... went for the meeting this morning and it went pear shaped, jamie walked out and the rest of them just shrugged there shoulders(they were expecting it), my helper from on-track did explain that a small 12 yr old being surrounded by 6 adults made him feel uncomfortable but they didn1t wanrt to know(the headmaster). the deputy head sat and scowled at jamie the whole time, don`t know if he saw it but i bloody did, even my helper from on-track agreed that they wanted jamie out.. so what now, he will get help at this other place but i wanna slate the school for not helping sos annie i`m not havin a good day talk tommorrow

Have you thought about getting him taught at home for a while-if he had a one-to-one teacher whom he felt he trusted in familiar surrounding s for a while-until he's calmed down maybe that would help?then maybe make a fesh start somewhre else-I don't for one minute condone what he called that teacher-that is completely unacceptable-my child would have been grounded for a month!-but I know what you mean about schools sometime-sometimes certain teachers/officials get it in their mind that a child is 'bad' and they don't get a chance after that-if thers trouble nad they are arround they automatically get blamed.-then they feel they might as well misbehave because they get blamed anyway.

All I can offer at the moment, Sharon, is a huge ((((((HUG)))))) for support. Chin up girl, don't let things grind you down (though God only knows, it's easier said than done lol). x

this lady is asking for help or support not negativity good luck sharon with your son glad most people are more caring ((((hugs))))

Oh well Joy If I'm labelled negative because I think calling a teacher a whore is out of order and worthy of suspension so be it. I'm sorry i just wont agree that's right. Nor does it mean I dont care. Working in a school Ive seen the affect disruptive pupils have on the good kids in class, lessons are ruined, kids work disrupted , kids threatened by others, also teachers have been hurt. Attention is nearly always taken away from those who want to learn and focused on those who dont Its not fair. Elaine x

Hi Sharon, here's today's (((HUG))) for you. Hope you're OK, and still sane! x

I'm afraid I have to side with Elaine. Her comment ''Attention is nearly always taken away from those who want to learn and focused on those who dont - Its not fair.'' sums it up. It is not just attention, it is costly resources which mean the vast majority who do chose to behave themselves miss out each time.