General Chat

It made me laugh too, Sylvia. :-D

What you call small circles will be our mini roundabouts I expect.

When our last roundabout was built (quite a few years ago now) it foxed many who had never come across sitting in a lane in the middle of a roundabout before. Sunderland, however had already built similar and lucky for me I had travelled through several times because I had seen two cars facing each other in the middle of our foxy roundabout - obviously the layout was unfamiliar to one of them.

I thought at the time that it would probably have been better to leave it as an ordinary roundabout with traffic lights, as it was as that is what most drivers found familiar.

As I no longer go that way to work, I often wonder what overseas visitors make of it.

JoyL .............

There are hardly any roundabouts in the US, so Americans don't know how to use them! The first one was built around 1992 in a Florida town, and more are being built.

This made me laugh .............

https://www.heraldtribune.com/article/LK/20090621/News/605215584/SH#:
~:text=The%20first%20roundabout%20in%20America,for%20high%2Dspeed%20vehicle%20operation.


There used to be a huge roundabout in Halifax, NS, which they called the Armdale Rotary, that had traffic from 5 different directions. It had been designed in the 1940s to handle no more than 20,000 cars a day, by the 2000s there were 60,000 a day.

It confused even the Haligonians! So you can imagine what havoc Americans could cause :-D

In Vancouver, we have lots of small circles (as we usually call them) at intersections of residential roads where traffic has got busier due to "rat runners" .......... drivers trying to avoid jams on nearby main roads. Driver HAVE to slow down going round these because they are so small! The early ones were raised and cemented over, but then drivers in a hurry just used to drive over them, so now, they are raised a little higher, and grass planted there, which is never cut. People in the area can take over, and plant perennials, no shrubs and certainly no trees!

It occurred to me that if you were using voice recognition systems then command like

sentences would be the order of the day and some of the niceties may be lost.
With this in mind I decided to try it out on my google home.

I prefixed the command with please and it worked.

Then I asked it to stop. Afterwards I said thank you google to which she replied “ It is a pleasure to serve.” ;-) ;-) ;-)

Yes I could be making much better use of my time :-D :-D :-D

Round here the big, expensive cars are usually first to move over. I think they are afraid of being damaged by a cheaper car. :-(

He’d probably scoot straight over the top of my little car, Names.

Years ago, in my working life I used to drive home for lunch as it was a short journey.

A couple of times during the summertime it took a lot longer as traffic came to a stop when Americans (and it always seemed to be Americans) used to gaily go around a couple of roundabouts the wrong way. Surprisingly, we seemed to get used to it which is why we just came to a halt while they completed their manoeuvres.

I recently came across a little comedic video of an American learning to drive in the UK.
The thing he got right was when you meet an on coming car in a narrow lane was that the cheapest car had to give way. He must have been doing that driving round here because the bigger, more expensive cars don’t move over an inch. :-P

Yes Sylvia and AndysMum, both my OH and I do the little finger-raise of thanks on occasion.

We have a chicane with a one-way priority sign between our home and our daughter’s and, surprisingly, more drivers use the gesture than those who don’t. As far as I can see, age makes no difference either.

As my Dad used to say, ‘It’s nice to be nice.’ :-D

OH still acknowledges at other drivers in similar situations, after 54+ years over here. ............... only here in BC and I think much of Canada, you just lift your fingers up from the wheel keeping control with the thumb still in place.

Most other drivers do the same back to him.

One of the "wrong" things to do, that can get you in trouble, is to only have one hand on the wheel, unless it is a manual car when you have to use one hand to change gears, etc. OH still prefers a manual, against all odds!

Where we live there are quite a lot of single-track roads, with passing places.

On one occasion I was taking my Canadian niece, aged early 20's, sight-seeing and one of these roads was quite busy. After about the third time of having to wait, she asked if I knew all the drivers. Of course I didn't, so she wanted to know why I waved to them all!

She couldn't believe it when I said I was thanking them - and that most people did it. :-)

Sylvia, absolutely agree.My grown up children still send thankyou notes for Xmas &birthday and so do I.
And yes sending a note after a dinner party to say thankyou for a lovely evening is polite.

Florence in the hebrides

JoyL ............

You might be right.

I do hear people saying please and thank you here, but sometimes got surprised looks from strangers when I said it.

A couple of years after daughter married and moved to Nova Scotia, one of her husband's cousins had a baby, and daughter asked me to make a baby jacket and bonnet for the baby. I'd met the girl, and sent the gift for her. I didn't have her address, so had to send it to daughter to hand over.

I never received a thank you note, and commented later on that, daughter said that she had discovered that it was not common to send a thank you note, and sometimes not even to say thank you in person when given a gift at, eg a baby shower or wedding.

She drilled her husband into sending a note for presents we and our friends on this side sent by mail.

You see, all the people we were close to did the opposite on this side .............. American, Canadian and English-born friends, colleagues and acquaintances all said thank you in person or by note for presents, and always phoned to say thank you to the hostess after having been at a dinner party, or sent flowers the next day.

Sadly, there are children whose family life isn't as good as ours and some only learn manners and social skills at school. I have seen it many times and it's very sad.Its not the job of teachers to teach basic manners,I agree but in society there are so many families who themselves have poor social skills,that school education is the only chance some children have to learn manners etc and to speak properly to others.

I once had a child who swore terribly at the age of 6 but when we met the parents at a parents evening,all became clear.The parents swore every other word because it was the only way they knew and so passed it on to their children sadly.

Florence 8n the Hebrides

I always try to be polite when I phone companies with a complaint.
These people are 'front line' - and not necessarily responsible for the mess your account is in!
However, when it comes to emails, my tone changes. With an email you have written evidence about your complaint - which is probably why firms don't like giving out email addresses!

As for 'please' and 'thank you' - it's a natural in our family - but so is humour, empathy, and not dropping litter!!

I used to say to my daughter “what’s the magic word” if she forgot to say please or thank you

It’s what my mum did to us ,and we were a family of seven kiddies

I even say thank you to my Alexa when it gives me a message !

And there was “I want doesn’t get ,it’s please may I have “

While I do like to hear the niceties of please and thank you from everyone, does anyone think that, as far as families are concerned, this could be a British thing?

I ask because when we lived overseas among our friends we had a Spanish family (parents born in Spain then had to move swiftly to southern France so children were born in France).

The mother, a teacher, was intrigued to hear OH, children and me saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to each other. She explained that, where they came from (never knew whether she meant Spain or France) family members and very close friends never used those words to each other.

They had a couple of other things about them which were alien to me (or my Britishness, I expect) but they were such a nice family and I got on particularly well with the mother whose company I always enjoyed.

I agree, it is the parents who should teach children their manners and their major life skills, such as how to talk with other people, in person or on the phone.

My daughter has been praised at various stages of her life for her good behaviour and manners ............ from a man praising her on the bus when she was about 10 for giving up her seat to an older person without being prompted. She told me that later she was so pleased because to be thanked. Another one she was pleased to hear was when a school friend asked to talk over some confidential things with her "because you don't spread gossip".

We only insisted on what we had been taught, the old yes, please, thank you, etc.

I've been happy to see that her son is also polite and pleasant, speaks well on the phone. When asked what she had done, my daughter replied "just what my mother taught me".

No way is it the responsibility of the teacher at school, except in terms of insisting on good manners in the classroom. I know many people do think that teachers teach everything, but they don't, they don't have time to learn everything themselves and they don't have time to teach every child everything, except what they are trained and paid to do.


I've been very disappointed over the last few years with our nephew's failure to carry on what his mother (OH's sister) taught all 3 of her children, especially with regard to saying thank you for presents, preferably by letter or card if not given in person. Just to let the giver know that the the present had arrived.

It may be his wife who doesn't do it, but we were never thanked for their wedding presents, never thanked for money sent on the births of their daughters, nor for the money sent to each child for birthday and Christmas.

I know the cheques are deposited and can only assume it was by them. The irony is that they only live about 30 miles from where we live, and could phone very easily, especially as it is still in the "free" local all area!

I am sorely tempted to cut them off, yet hate the idea of treating the 2 kiddies differently from their 4 cousins .................. it's not their fault!

His sisters still follow their mother's teachings, the 4 kiddies have some kind of drawing when very young to writing a proper thank you as they aged.

This is where 'Sure Start' were so good.

A good indication that teaching manners should not be left to teachers. ;-)

Still don’t know what got into him.

I agree with Von and think it is the responsibility for parents to teach good manners, in fact to teach things like life skills too and to be good role models and examples to their children. Too much responsibility is being foisted onto teachers at taxpayers' expense. They are highly trained and better paid than nursery staff yet their teaching time is being spent on children who are sent to school unable to hold a pencil, still in nappies, hardly able to talk. I was a 40/50s child and before I started school aged 5, I was taught my numbers 1-20, knew the alphabet, the colours and could write my name and tie shoelaces. My parents both worked, but instead of a nice car to drive to work in, they both cycled all year in all weathers to their jobs, my mother with me in a seat on the back of her bike when it was school holidays as she took a less well paid job where she could take me with her when needed. Teachers can reinforce good manners at school but it needs to happen at home too for a child to know it is important.

Namelessone, your OH was a bit short on life skills there wasn't he! lol :-D It's not the way to get the result you want is it.

Yes Kentish maid,I absolutely agree with you.

Oh dear names,shouting at someone on the phone never ends well.

Yes manners start at home.my own two are and always have been well behaved and polite children and now as grownups are great with others but that's because my upbringing was a good one where I learnt skills for life and passed those on.

Florence in the hebrides