General Chat

Best not post my Dad's version of that Allan as I would be RR'd for sure :-D :-D

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse
The merriest day of the year
The paupers and the prisoners
Were all assembled there.
In came the Christmas pudding
When a voice that shattered glass
Said, “We don’t want your Christmas pudding
So stick it there with the rest of the unwanted presents.”
The workhouse master then arose
And prepared to carve the duck
He said “Who wants the parson’s nose
And the prisoners shouted “You have it yourself, sir.”
The vicar brought his Bible
And read out little bits.
Said one old crone at the back of the hall
“This man gets on very well with everybody.”
The workhouse mistress then began
To hand out Christmas parcels.
The paupers tore the wrappers off
And began to wipe their eyes, which were full of tears.
The master rose to make a speech
But just before he started
The mistress, who was fifteen stone,
Gave three loud cheers and nearly choked herself.
And all the paupers then began
To pull their Christmas crackers.
One pauper held his too low down
And blew off both his paper hat and the man’s next to him.
A steaming bowl of white bread sauce
Was handed round to some.
An aged gourmet then called aloud
“This bread sauce tastes like it was made by a continental chef.”
Mince pie with custard sauce was next
And each received a bit.
One pauper said “The mince pie’s nice
But the custard tastes like the bread sauce we had in the last verse!”
The mistress dishing out the food
Dropped custard down her front.
She cried “Aren’t I a silly girl!”
And they answered “You’re a
perfect picture as always ma’am !”
“This pudding “, said the master,
“Is solid, hard and thick.
How am I going to cut it?”
And a man cried, “Use your penknife sir, the one with the pearl handle.”
The mistress asked the vicar
To entertain his flock.
He said, “What would you like to see ?”
And they cried, “Let’s see your conjuring tricks, they’re always worth watching.”
“Your reverence, may I be excused ?”
Said one benign old chap.
“I don’t like any conjuring tricks.
I’d sooner have a carol or two around the fire”
So then they all began to sing
Which shook the workhouse walls.
“Merry Christmas!” cried the master,
And the inmates shouted “Best of luck to you as well sir!”

:-D :-D

That is very very similar to Dad's version but he did not hold back on the vocabulary :-D :-D :-D.

:-D :-D :-D

Morning everyone, how are your baubles hanging today :-D :-D :-D :-D

I am not being funny LG...but........you got yer kecks on back to front.

If you wear kecks on your head, the gusset bit needs to be facing your bum and not your snout.

Trust me, i knows about these things.

I am always RR's about face PH :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Great fun, thanks Mr M :-D :-D

Odd that only one post was rr'd :-S but quite rightly was reinstated. Very suspicious.....

You lot really are funny...been busy last few days and trying to catch up...this thread has made me laugh out loud :-D :-D

Cheered me up no end Caroline, just like the good old days :-D :-D

Glad you all had a laugh.

Les Dawson - The Good Old Days (1983)


https://youtu.be/dipgwBEx8FY

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Cheers Mr M :-D :-D
I had a look at 'Cissie and Ada at the doctors surgery' as well. Soooo funny :-D :-D

What did I miss :-S :-S :-S :-S :-S what post was RR'd

Not today LaG. Somebody was rr'd for 'bum' on Monday :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D so everyone else got their bums out. I guess it was too much for the rr'r - I think they've been rationed LOL
Bum reinstated. :-D

OH Bums, I did not see that, I am not called bullet for nothing ;-) :-D :-D :-D

Bum ped this one up :-D :-D ;-)

Seems they are still rummaging in the loft :-0 :-D :-D

They haven't yet found the balls to do it ;-) :-D :-D

They will do it Christmas Eve. They are always the last to acknowledge special occasions :-P