General Chat

My P.A. and general Man Friday has been on leave as she has had a baby. I was unsure how she would manage returning to work but it will not be a problem - I have met her marriage partner who is also a pretty young lady. Quite how they managed to produce the baby I didn't ask.

No matter I have a very efficient replacement Man Friday who does the job for the moment. Needless to say I suppose his husband is a guy DINKY so they are ok.

Problem is that the new Man Friday when putting together a sheaf of the usual bumph-to-be-signed included dealing with the NIP ( notice of intention to prosecute ) along with company payment authorisation. I didn't read any of it.

Now, the usual MF was aware that I had not got time for a rumble in the sticks for a SAC (Speed Awareness Course). She had been instructed to pay the £ 80 fine (3 points) rather than £ 110 fee and two days of wasted time + mucking up my Easter holiday.

It was not 'cos the message was not passed on. The new, male, MF just could not believe that I was prepared to let go the points so he "made a decision". He has also somehow got himself on the named driver list for the Jag and wants to drive it allowing me to do something marginally more useful.

However as the course is in an Army camp the Jag is not really ideal wheels. I have these alternatives:
Willis Jeep ( restored, hard top no heater ) worse on gas than the Jag,
Disco (diesel) LHD well thrashed French plates runs on LPG
Renault Twingo LHD German plates hard seats
Rolls Royce 1977 good nick soft seats
One-of-the-boring-Volvos handy if you meet a moose

Which would you take? There is no point in taking anything quick as the "Speed Awareness Course" is all deskbound. No practise at leaping out of the way before a speeding taxi or, as French newspapers put it, avoiding trees which jump out into the road in front of innocent Fangios.

If I don't go I will get the points, another £ 80 to shell out and no refund for the SAC.

consequences

I would take this post with the usual pinch of salt.

Avoid foreign number plates - you don't know how other people will react.

Considering the forecasts are for cold weather for Easter into mid April, you'd benefit from a working heater. Ignore the Jeep.

That leaves you the Rolls and Volvo.

Although the Rolls was made in 1977, the brand name still shrieks 'money'. If its brought up in conversation it could cause resentment even though you're 'all in this together'.

Go for the boring Volvo. They're more common and will keep you warm & safe.

Common......common....God forbid...and in an Army camp as well....

Still trying to work out why a jag isn't suitable for an army camp if there's no driving in the course????????????

www.theguardian.com/money/2016/jan/27/why-speed-awareness-course-could-hike-up-insurance-premiums

I've got a tank parked up in the garage if it helps.

The Volvo...safer ( so I'm told) in case you clash/crash with someone on their way to the same venue :-)

I'm not the person to say though as I don't drive, but I go for safety and comfort in my dotage, so whereas once I might have been enamoured with a stylish speedy car now I just want to know if the seat belts are easy to click and don't slice my neck...ah the benefits of ageing. Flat shoes also lol.

To be fair I think it would depend on which Army camp it was being held at, as not all are equal so which one is it?

Learn to read everything Rollo. I'm surprised that you don't! :-0

He's far too busy that's why he has Man Fridays, mind you now the Jag will be driven for him he can read as he's driven around.

Itis Bovindon Camp in Dorset where the Army practise with their tanks at running down wannabees from TopGear. Can be very muddy.
A friend in Bournemouth owns the Roller.
My cousin's husband owns the Jeep, he is into military stuff.
Driving on foreign plates is not a problem I do it all the time both in the UK and abroad. The only problem is making sure the insurance is valid.
All of the Volvos are LHD with UK Plates.
I am inclined to let the train take the strain and take up by friend's invite he loves any excuse to take the Roller walkies and to the Fat Badger for lunch.

Has anybody been on one of these courses? Do they set pass/fail tests? What is the criteria for succesfuly doing the course and no onger being classed as Mr Toad for doing 36mph on a road which should be 40mph?

An influential politician lives on the 30mph stretch in question. A nearby important road not only has a 30mph limit but until recently a double chicane with traffic lights and formidable bumps. He died recently. Very soon after all these "traffic calming" measures were removed.
.
cynicism pays but who for ?

"Learn to read everything Rollo. I'm surprised that you don't"

I don't have a couple of hours a day to work my way through all the stuff that demands my sig. besides which it is very, very boring. So like thousands of others I have a rubber stamp sig boiled into MS Word for the most part or an actual stamp for forms and such.

Those who don't delegate are doomed to making p poor decisions through not enough sleep. I prefer to trust people and find time for real lfie outside work and a good zizz.
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Bovvie, Rollo. My pals know it well. :-D

Love the cynicism bit. It's typical ... and often the same for coumcillors.

I think the Jag would be fine there, can't see why not!

Only the Queen can afford the errors due to rubber stamp signatures.

I have seen people make pigs' ears of things by rubber-stamping.

To delegate you need someone crash hot at the job who will then command a fortune in salary. Otherwise, make time as I was always taught. You wouldn't want your solicitor not reading everything would you?

There's no pass/fail test.

There's only 2 things you must do - a) turn up, b) turn up on time.

The coffee may be dire (ours was provided by the resident catering facility and was good).

I'm not sure why you'd want to travel between Burley and Brockehurst, (slightly veiled reference to Cllr Ken Thorber, hardly a politician - and the traffic 'calming' measures were removed before he died last year) to get to Bovington.

However, if you are, you must be well aware that a lot of the trip will be a compulsory 40mph anyway?
As you seem incapable of driving within the speed limit in the Jag - that option must surely be a negative.

The traffic calming I mentioned was in Bournemouth not the New Forest. The speed limit on the A35 is mostly 50mph, the A31 mostly 70 mph until approaching Ringwood, the A338 70mph as far as Blackwater then 50 mph eventually with short stretches at lower speeds which generate millions of pounds of fines. West of Poole Dorset roads have an abysmal safety record whatever the speed set and you really do need to have your wits about you.

The money is spent on coffee for SAC offenders,mini and maxi roundabouts/car and moped grinders such as Canford Bottom, ,more traffic lights, bus lanes for streets with one bus a day, cycling lanes to nowhere and of course excellent salaries for the Road Safety Speed is evil crew most of whom have no technical qualificat6ions for the job. Bournemouth and Poole have the most congested roads of any large town in the UK outside of London.

My pay grade is not high enough to have a full time driver so I do over 30 000 miles a year all over the place. This is the first speeding nip I have had in the UK since the 1970s when I was disqualifed after an altercation with the Kent police. I won the civil claim though for my poor dead mini.

Bournemouth is in the middle pf grabbing most of the rest of the revenue generating part of Dorset ( Poole and Christchurch )to form a city. The city will have powers to burn and build like billy'o with lots of up market houses and flats. Others can sleep on Poole High Street if they can afford the £ 100 fine.

The other districts will all be suppressed ( other than for ceremonial matters) and become a single district with only E Dorset to pay the bills. This has already been tried with the breakup of Avon. North Somerset is in as big a fix as Northants. though they never had any money to start with. The new Dorset will suffer a similar fate. Most of them voted Tory so they will have no reason to complain.

They will need the SAC and other speeding fees.

I have a rellie , a Mr Drax, who lives on the Poole side of the A35 but I don't think a day with the speedsters is a great time to renew auld lang syne. In any case he prefers helicopters to old fashioned cars.

BTW I have discovered that those who really need a speed awareness course, cracking on at a rate which Mr Bugattti would understand will NOT get an invite to the SAC but instead an invite to see the beak who can really spoil your day.

Oh - which Bournemouth MP has died recently then?
Still can't see why you'd go anywhere near Bournemouth if you're traveling from London.


It's a right pain, isn't it when rellies live on your journey.

We have some 'Killigrew' rellies in Falmouth.
We were on holiday in that region not long ago.
We would have LOVED to rekindle the family ties, but I think, after 500 years we may have left it too late!
:-D :-D :-D :-D