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things they would never have said

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Allan

Allan Report 7 Oct 2014 09:49

No, somebody else wrote them

Shakespeare

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 7 Oct 2014 09:45

Arnold George Dorsey............

don't know why I changed my name, to Engelbert

Graham

Graham Report 7 Oct 2014 09:24

I produce rap with a silent c - Eminem

Allan

Allan Report 7 Oct 2014 09:17

Mine is art with a capital F

Salvador Dali

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 7 Oct 2014 09:05

while sharing the loaves and fishes,................would you like fries with this?

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 7 Oct 2014 07:48

:-D :-D :-D :-D

lavender

lavender Report 6 Oct 2014 23:31

I'm taking the 25th off………Father Christmas ;-)

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 5 Oct 2014 15:37

Gordon Ramsey.......

would you mind clearing up that mess..............please...?

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 5 Oct 2014 15:12

You are a better singer than I am.......Cheryl Cole

Dermot

Dermot Report 5 Oct 2014 10:00

"Begorrah, Irish Punts never meant a lot to me except when I hadn't any". (Charlie Haughey).

Allan

Allan Report 5 Oct 2014 09:58

Ok Guys, you can knock off work now. The long range weather forecast is for an extended dry period.


Noah

GinaS

GinaS Report 5 Oct 2014 09:31

'we must all tighten our belts' - Charlie Haughey RIP
The next day, a million Irish Pounds posted into his personal Bank account

lavender

lavender Report 5 Oct 2014 00:14

One likes one's beans on toast…Her Majesty

JoyBoroAngel

JoyBoroAngel Report 4 Oct 2014 23:19

no more animals--- who said that ME ;-) ;-)

Bobtanian

Bobtanian Report 4 Oct 2014 23:14

deviating, a little...............

After several attempts, I've finally had sex with my girlfriend while on the back of a motorcycle......................It was a Triumph.

A Zulu walking through the jungle comes across a pygmy standing over a dead lion.
"Did you kill that lion?" asks the Zulu.
"Yeah, I beat it to death with my club," the pygmy replies.
"Hell, you must have a big club," says the Zulu.
"Yeah, there's about thirty of us."





A girl just shouted me over on the beach.
She said, "Hey gorgeous it's really hot.

A great ball of fire has just landed in my garden.
I thought to myself, "Goodness gracious."

Graham

Graham Report 2 Oct 2014 17:46

"Can we fix it? Yes we can. But it'll cost you an arm and a leg. And you might not see us for days or weeks on end" - Bob the builder

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 2 Oct 2014 17:38

I would never have Plastic Surgery....Victoria Beckham

Kense

Kense Report 2 Oct 2014 15:55

You're three times over the limit but as it's Chtistmas we'll overlook it this time - Police Interceptor.

Dermot

Dermot Report 2 Oct 2014 15:50

“I’m a devout Grammarian but useless with sums.“ - George Osborne.

Graham

Graham Report 2 Oct 2014 15:46

I'm shattered - Humpty Dumpty