General Chat

Or to get her singing the "Lullaby of Broadway" :-D now that would get R&Rd. :-D :-D :-D

Maybe someone thought you were touting for customers for your petunias :-D

You were probably thinking of Brahms Lullaby (Not to be confused with (Brahms and Listz) :-D :-D( which you may well have been) :-D :-D :-D ;-) ;-)

Exactly!! :-D

Oh Prickles Babes, you were 'Legless in the Malt' then LOLOL

Julia in Derbyshire

Mornin Scozz and Julia :-)

Apart from Errol, i don't really know who else was upset by it....so hey ho, onwards, upwards and steady as we go. ;-)

Julia i went for a tour around a distilary once and came out wivout me legs!! :-S :-S :-S
:-D

Morning Scozz, must be the best way to drown.LOLOL
I once had a tour around a distilary. The floors were wire mesh, and if I looked down, I envisaged myself falling into the malt.


Julia in Derbyshire

Good to see sanity has returned.... for a short time lol

<3 Prickly - how could anyone be offended at that?

My ggg uncle fell in the vat at the whisky distillery

He eventually drowned, but had to get out three times to pee

lol eldrick, i should delete really i never considerd those with a milk allergy :-0

Aye, aye, nose to the left - Island's changed 'er havitaaar :-D

Ear Ear :-D

I can ardly breeve!!

:-D :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D.

lmao @ Eldrick.
Glad the OP was reinstated :-D

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Im deeply upset. I know someone who fell off a ladder whilst decorating and twisted their ankle. And I have a great uncle who was run over by a runaway milk cart. Is someone trying to get at me?

MInd, it wasn't as bad as my great great grandfather on my mothers side. He fell into a vat of varnish and drowned.

It was a horrible end but a lovely finish.

all this palava over song,

bit like some feel the song-----Pink/Blue toothbrush is not appropiate for children as they may belive they can have a romance in the bathroom,,fgs.

well done GR team. for showing common sense,hope it gave you all a giggle. ;-)

I've only just seen PH's OP it having being rr'd before I first saw the thread and I don't find it offensive. However, from some of the posts on here it's not surprising that whoever did rr it did so without asking PH first.

We don't know the reason for the rr. It could be that someone found it upsetting rather than offensive and even if they did find it offensive, that is their right, it doesn't mean they don't have a sense of humor. All it means is that they found it inappropriate for this particular site.

I've never heard of this song until it was posted on here, maybe a reference so people know the full facts next time may help.

ERNIE (THE FASTEST MILKMAN IN THE WEST)
(Benny Hill)
Benny Hill - 1971


You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground,
And the clatter of the wheels as they spun 'round and 'round.
And he galloped into market street, his badge upon his chest,
His name was Ernie, and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as Sue,
She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22.
They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic,
But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week.

They called him Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, "All right, sweetheart,"
And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart.
He said, "D'you want it pasturize? 'Cause pasturize is best,"
She says, "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest."

That tickled old Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man,
Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker's van.
He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,
And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head.

She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, "If you treat me right,
You'll have hot rolls every morning and crumpets every night."
He knew once she sampled his layer cake he'd have his wicked way,
And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day.

Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

One lunch time Ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door,
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four.
And as he lept down from his van hot blood through his veins did course,
And he went across to Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his 'orse.

Whose name was Trigger, (Triggerrrrrrrr)
And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west.

Now Ernie rushed out into the street, his gold top in his hand,
He said, "If you wanna marry Susie you'll fight for her like a man."
"Oh why don't we play cards for her?" he sneeringly replied,
"And just to make it interesting we'll have a shilling on the side."

Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,
They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.
But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,
And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.

Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
And Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.
And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust.

Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)
And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

Ernie was only 52, he didn't wanna die,
And now he's gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky.
Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned,
And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy, dairy land.

But a woman's needs are many fold and soon she married Ted,
But strange things happened on their wedding night as they lay in their bed.
Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate?
Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate?

They won't forget Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeee)
And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west

both funny, havent heard of the 2nd one though got muddled with who was upside down and right back to front xx