General Chat

Robin "I am afraid that I disagree with your assertion that if Elaine's husband had come here and told us that he was abusing his wife then he would have got sympathy."

I wasn't suggesting he ( or any abusive partner) WOULD get sympathy...I was pointing out that a man in Elaine's position and coming on here for support,advice and opinions would get the same consideration.

ie regardless of gender...if someone is in trouble, some of us try to give impartial advice!

Kemp Robin is not the same Robin who is on Gen. Robin has been on here a while longer than that albeit with a longer name than just Robin. It is two different numbers!

I thought this thread was to give some support to Elaine
Liz

I actually think that pretty much everybody here gave Elaine the advice that I *always* think is the best advice anyone should give a stranger, and probably the only:

Get some good professional advice -- be it legal (to protect your interests, no matter what you decide) or psychological (to help make a decision and to help carry out that decision, *whatever* it is, in the way that makes you happiest).

I know I made a point of saying that Elaine didn't have to justify her decision, no matter what it was, to anyone else, whether here or to a counsellor or in a support group.

It can be useful for people in a particular situation to hear how others have dealt with similar situations, and how the solution they chose turned out for them. That doesn't mean that the solution they chose is the "right" one for anyone else, or that another one is "wrong", or that anyone is telling anyone else what to do. People have reasons for doing things that others may not understand (even if they actually do try).

People trying to make decisions can use all the information they can get. I think Elaine got some good information here, and it seems you think so too Elaine! I hope you make a good decision *for you*. :)

Robin, Elaine has already said that she no longer loves him, so it's academic. Whilst I appreciate that you're entitled to voice your opinions on here, I am disappointed that you felt you had to resort to rudeness whilst making them. It creates inappropriate unpleasantness, particularly on a sensitive thread such as this. There are some brilliant 'old timers' on here and you walk where angels fear to tread, believe me!

I would have brained him within the first year of this, and my OH has been difficult in some ways, but never brought up the subject of money, just given me it, so I have been lucky in my marriage and wouldnt changeit, but my advice to any suffering bad behaviour, is DO NOT TOLERATE it. Make your feelings clear from the outset and remember, the bully is a weakling at heart.

Elaine, please do your best to ignore off topic posts, and please be assured that so many of us do care and send our best wishes for your future.

Elaine,

I have a similar situation to you in that every time my partner gets in one of his moods he says to me "this is my house, pack your bags and leave", the only difference is that we are not married and have only been living together for 5 years. Every time he says these things to me I just keep responding that "I am not going anywhere". Here in NZ if couples have lived together, whether married or not, for any period longer than 3 years all assets are to be divided 50/50 regardless of who actually owns it.

I always tell him that I don't want his bloody money, I am just protecting myself legally and financially because if I leave and he doesn't pay the mortgage then I know I will get chased for it as I am legally responsible being a part owner of the house.

Once the house is sold and if he tells me to leave, then most likely I would as I would not have any more ties to him.

However, on saying all of that I do still love him very much and majority of the time he is very loving and caring towards me just that in times of stress he doesn't cope so well and ends up taking it out on me. Most of the time I just ignore him. I tell him he is having a "mans period" and ask him if its finished yet LOL : )

Will be thinking of you. Hopefully everything works out for the best. If you need a private chat, I am available.

Annie
xxxxxx

Good Robin I,m glad I left it there now

It left you feeling the way you made Daff feel ......

Spoonful of medicine

Tries not to type 'we all wish you hadn't either' in reply to Robin.

Ooops, did I type that out loud? lol

Could someone please give Kemp and Teresa a basic lesson in how to use the boards ..................... for once more they are addressing the wrong Robin.

I'll be back later with my replies to the questions that have been asked of _me_ !

I to ...will answer any questions

morning robin..

wouldnt let it worry you ..just enjoy the boards ..

maybe it myt be a good idea, if, you robins' add and initial to the end of your name or add another word, then people cant get confused between the three,

some people dnt check membership numbers, so wont be able to desifer between the 3 of you, stops any more comfusion, just a thought x

Robin, with respect please start another thread? You say it is a shame to hijack Elaine's thread and then carry on to do just that even further!

robin, go to community, top right next to help
click on it, the drop down menu appears,
go to board summry

at the bottom of the board summary page is community name, you can change it there xxx

It is now Kempinasunhat.

What is going on ?

Coz the point is we can now use ANY name we like .......

Thank you carolB at least we all now know

many years ago we could never use any name already in use


NO carol it use to be Kem'pju:te Indemanare

then it changed to kempinasuitcase coz we went to cluelesses and people asked if I went by suitcase

Cor blimey, it seems that the only person who was not bothered by the question asked was me. I put up the thread so had to be aware that someone would ask questions. I was not offended but thanks to the caring people who thought I may have been. R we all friends again lol. Elaine.