General Chat

Absolutely nothing, Ann in Glos. No - I have not been invited to this wedding in the terms outlined. I would have politely refused in any case.

The subject is on this public forum with the intention, if I am not mistaken, of receiving contributors' opinions. People who ask questions should be prepared to have answers and, as we know from experience, some replies touch the nerve. There is little benefit in everyone nodding in agreement with the initial posting. That is not a real debate.

My initial reaction was that the reception was booked in this instance before the guest list was decided - cart before the horse. But, of course, I may be wrong. I have yet to attend a wedding where there is no hitch or annoyance - most problems are, in fact, caused by adults.

A wedding day is an important day not just for the special couple but for their families too - young & old. May it always be so.

Daff, you say it so much better than what I could!

Dermot... the mother of unruly children has always been.... well, at the very least, talked about by her peers... her peers meaning the mothers of other, well behaved children... please note that it is always the mother who gets the praise or the blame... nothing to do with men, at all...

And I have been at numerous weddings, blessed by well behaved children... and some where the behaviour of youngsters has ruined the brides day... and it is, after all, the brides day.... men have, or should have, no say in it!!

So wind your neck in.... it is the bride's perogative to invite whomsoever she wishes!!

Lovew

Daff xxxx

Claire you should not be made to feel guilty, by the extremely rude invited guests or by anybody on here.
Dermot, assuming you are not one of the invited guests with 3 children and a pregnant wife, what on earth has it got to do with you?

Marion...Many thanks for your comments,,,i will certainly be digging my heels in over it all.
It was made very clear to all guests who had children that because of the room capacity we were unable to include children in the invitation.
Only one couple (who have 3 children) have been unable to find a minder for their kids and so are not comming,
The rest are delighted to have a day out and some grown up time.
The guests have had almost a year to sort out child minders and i will not be made to feel guilty because they 'cant find anyone'
Their kids are not my problem.
And believe me,,if they do decide to leave them in the room they will look very stupid indeed,

Dermot
Who and why the guests were invited has nothing whatsoever to do with you.
As you are having trouble comprehending my original post i will explain it to you in clear terms,,,,


THE RECEPTION ROOM HOLDS 100 PEOPLE,
TO INCLUDE THE CHILDREN OF GUESTS THAT HAVE BEEN INVITED WOULD TAKE THE TOTAL TO ALMOST 160.

MarionFromScotland - why on earth were 'these kind of people' invited? In past times, the mother of many children - quiet or otherwise - was certain of honour from her peers.

They probably have no intention of leaving them in the room. They will be hoping you just say, just bring them then.
If it was me I would dig my heels in,these kind of people get up my nose.

They just CAN'T lock those children in an hotel room. What a dreadful idea.
And if she has had the baby by then..... B*&^%$ h&**.... what a mother.
Sorry if I have offended, but they just cannot do that.
Deanna X

Actually, it is none of my business but still!!

If they have stated they do want children there...there shouldnt be. How many others will go against the wishes and bring along theirs?
They should be told..sorry but no children and hopefully they could get a sitter.

sound like selfish pigs to me lol

Dermot, there is not room to invite all the children and you can't invite some and not others. It is not an anti children family it is an inviting a lot of people family and no room for the children in the room where the reception is held (Health and safety/fire laws etc).

When do noisy children desist from their unsocial behaviour? About 22, in my experience.

Excluding them from 'normal' family life for such an extended period would seem a backward step in their upbringing.

I wonder why these people are having a fourth child when they obviously have no idea how to responsibly care for the three they already have! Maybe Social Services should be informed so that the whole family can be monitored, I wonder if they lock their children in at home and go to a party down the road or whatever!

I think a call to the hotel at least should make the hotel review the booking and then they might be put off coming, if the hotel can't put them up. Poor little baby to come into a family like that!

Lizx

Just wanted to add my opinion to this one, for what it's worth.

My son is getting married in November and they also have said that they are not inviting children, mainly to keep the numbers down. They already have around 120 guests, which would be even more if they included children.

I also agree that the couple mentioned in this post are being very irresponsible and don't sound like they even deserve to have kids!!

Just feel I had to respond on this one.

Whilst I accept your family's choice not to invite children to the wedding and for the logistical reasons you stated, I've never understood a 'no children' wedding. Both the OH and I come from very close families that celebrate our children openly and include ours and friends' children in all family events (even if they are little terrors).

When mine were younger, we were invited to a 'no children' wedding. We didn't go, stating quite openly that we are a family and that if they didn't want our girls there, then they didn't get us.

As for locking three small children in a hotel room for the best part of a day, then I don't know about informing the hotel, I'd be tempted to inform the authorities. I believe it is illegal to leave a child in the charge of a minor under the age of 14 in this country.

Dermot Today at 18:21 Request review
Why are children not invited? They form part of most families & should not be excluded from everyday activities.


Hi Dermot,

I don't think in this instance the children are part of the same family, I think they are friend's children.

Portland Rose,

I think thats what I was trying to say.....

love T.x

Karen,

That must have been my wedding you attended when the parents of a 4 year old decided it was okay to let him shout and scream throughout the vows!

Several points:

1) Technically, the children aren't actually attending the ceremony and reception so I don't think there's much you can do.

2) I can't believe they're informing people they intend to lock the kids in the room. Is this even possible nowadays with the electronic locks? There can't be too many hotels who still use the old fashioned door key.

3) Seems unlikely a baby monitor would work all the way from the hotel room to the wedding area.

Rose

I personally would prefer the children to attend but as the bride and groom have stated no children then the guests should respect that.
We was invited to a wedding when our yougest was 6mths, the twins 3 1/2 and eldest was 6 1/2. Stated no children, had a very difficult time trying to get someone to have them all, but we managed it in the end simply cos we'd respected the wishes of those inviting us. ( was really annoyed to see other children there tho esp when i'd thought the bride was a very good friend of mine!!!!!)

Dermot, it is up to the bride and groom who they invite, however if you read the thread you will see it is a matter of logistics, there would not be enough room.