General Chat

What do you all think to this,,,
Daughter is getting married on 11th July at a beautiful country hotel in Lincolnshire,
Other than my other daughters 2 children,,no other children have been invited,
Friends of the bridegroom has been invited and knew from the begining,,as stated on the invite,,,'regretfully we are not able to include children in the invitation'..
They have told my daughter that they will be bringing thier 3 children,,plus a new baby , (which is due on wedding day,,and which she may have had by then)...and are going to lock then in the room they have booked at he hotel,,and will use a baby monitor to make sure they are ok,,


I just cant believe it,,im speechless, !!!!

Kids are 11,, 5 and 1 year old..

Claire,

What an idiotic pair they must be. How can they contemplate 'locking the children in'. Presumably they will rush out of the ceremony or reception to the first, inevitable scream. They are bound to end up in a pickle.

It would also be very dangerous - what if there was a fire!

They should respect your daughter's wishes, or decline the invitation.

Elisabeth
x

hi claire hope you dont mind me adding but are they mad how do they think madaline went missing being left alone in a room while they went for a meal if it was me i would tell them i was not happy for them to do that at my wedding and it would spoil my day as i would be worrying about their children dont they have parents who could watch the children

Hi Elisabeth
We are quite upst about this as you can imagine,,
My daughter wanted to be able to say her vows without children making a noise in the background,, Now it seems we will have to listen to the screaching from a monitor,,
But most of all,,,we cant believe they would lo
ck the poor kids in the room....hopefully it will be lovely weather and it seems a terrible thing to do to kids on a hot day..
How irresponsible can some folks be,,
I dont know if it would the thing to do,,to contact the NSPCC,,maybe im being overdramatic,,,but it just sems so cruel.

Polly,,,im hoping that Future S-I-L will speak to them as they are his friends,,

Claire,

Perhaps you could suggest to the couple that you would be worried about the safety of the children and that they should take it in turns to spend time in the room with the children.

I suspect that they are trying to make an exception for them and allow their children to attend! What if the new baby hasn't arrived prior to the ceremony, perhaps they hope for a dramatic arrival into the world in the midst of it all.

The mind just boggles at their lack of respect for you all, and their children.

Elisabeth
xx

I hope you have a lovely day anyway. You know I will be thinking of you all and the other little item!

Perhaps the mother will be in hospital having the baby - if not, do they have no-one who would look after the children?????
Liz

I was just thinking the same as Liz - maybe the baby will choose that day to turn up! I've never been pregnant so I probably don't know what I'm talking about here, but if it was me, I'm sure I would just want to be at home taking things easy if I was that mother. (You didn't mention how far they'll be travelling but surely any travel must be uncomfortable that close to giving birth.)

Or you never know, maybe the new arrival will turn up the day before - and then the parents will be too tired and occupied with their own visitors to get to the wedding.

Something else occurred - with it being an adult-guest-orientated wedding, what would happen if this group of children didn't like what was on the menu etc? Would the parents make a fuss about this and expect concessions to be made there too? Because that could be awkward, too.

im disgusted tht they would even contemplate locking there children in a hotel rooom
so they can attend a wedding

words fail me and some people dnt deserve kids

an yes that is how maddie wnt missing have people not learnt nothing!

personlly id tell them to bin the invite and not bother coming

What do they think the children will be doing to amuse themselves whilst they are locked in . The eldest is of an age to get up to mischief that could be potentially dangerous, Do they intend to switch the baby monitor off whilst the wedding ceremony is going on and i bet they think they will bring the children down to the reception at some time. Apart from the almighty cheek of it then its also a very dangerous and unkind thing to do to those children.
Hope it can get sorted beforehand.

I've got to say I dont get weddings without kids but like everything else its personal choice. They have stipulated no-children at the wedding and the friends are complying allbeit it seems they are putting their kids at risk which is a separate issue.

Maybe they are bringing someone with them to care for the kids in the room?? My sis has done this on occasions, she has brought Mum with her and Mum cared for the kids in the room so my sis could go up and breastfeed as neccessary.

Got to say the hotel wont allow the kids alone in the room for a whole day, well they wouldnt be happy about it for sure. I used to do babysitting in a hotel and often people brought their kids to the 'adult only' wedding and arranged a sitter for the day. The kids got to enjoy the rest of the weekend looking at local attractions!

If the kids are on their own then parents are v. irresponsible.

love T.x

I think you should contact them and say the children will definitely not be catered for at the reception, that no other children will be there and that you are sure the hotel would not be prepared for the children to be left alone in their room. (Unless the hotel runs a baby minding service -i.e. they pay somebody to sit in with the children). When do they expect the children to eat. How close friends are they of the bridegroom? Maybe as theya re his friends he should be having a word.

What really annoys me, is people who have children, and think they can continue their lives as if they are still childless.

I remember my dear old Dad saying, once you have children your lives change, you cant go here and there like you did before you had them, you must take them into consideration first.

I hear of so many people who are wondering all the time who they can bung their children onto. Why have them if you dont want to look after them.Was thought years ago, it was so someone could look after you when you got older, but these kids wont want to do that if they have been bunged off on to someone else.

We visited a relative one week-end, and we went quite a distance to see them, in the evening they said do you mind if we go to a party while you are here, so you can give an eye to the children I immediately said, we came here to visit you, not be unpaid baby sistters, and even though they did not like it they did not go.

They used to get his mother there for a week end break, as she thought, but it was really to baby sit.

Mo

I would suggest that the Groom contacts his friends and repeats that under no circumstances are children going to be allowed so they may wish to re-think the idea of bringing them along ....and Oh what a nice time they ( the parents) can have alone before the birth of baby.


If that doesn't work then tell them straight NO CHILDREN

Personally I would never take children anywhere if they hadn't been named on an invite. So many people now seem to think it is OK to do so and think I'm odd because I don't! . It makes me so cross. Some people turn up without letting you know they are bringing kids with them.

I've recently heard of a wedding where a wife won't make it until the evenining so is sending the husband and children on their own!

Aaaah!

One of the reasons for not inviting children is that the room being used for the reception only holds 100 people.
If we included the children of each couple invited it would take it up to almost 160,
The couple concerned say that they have contacted the hotel and that the hotel will supply a baby monitor.
Im sure that they didnt explain to the hotel that they would be leaving the children in a locked room for the whole of the event,
I think the mother expects the 11year old to look after the other kids,
As has already been mentioned,,,im hoping that the baby arrives on the wedding day or the day before,,Then none of them will be comming,

Can you not make it clear that the children are not invited - have they far to travel to the wedding? If I was about to give birth, I would not want to be far from home, or travel with a new baby. I am sure they must go out sometimes and have a baby sitter, they can't take the children everywhere they go - or perhaps they do?????
Liz

How rude are these people? Their invitaton stipulates no children!
Even if Mrs X is allowed to bring hers - They've been asked NOT to bring theirs - full stop!
My daughter has a similar problem. She's getting married in August and has a 7 year old and an 18 month old. They are obviously attending, but a stepsister of the groom has a very unruly son - he ruined a friends wedding not long ago, as basically, he hates the attention not being on HIM. This stepsister can't see why the children of the bride & groom can attend and not her children!!???? (silly moo - you can see where her son gets his 'I am' attitude from if his mother can't see that some children are more important to bride & groom than hers!)
In an attempt to keep family harmony, this family has been invited to the evening only - Bratkid therefore can't spoil the actual ceremony and also in the hope that 'precious' will be left at home, or fall asleep soon after turning up!

Many years ago I attended the wedding of a very good friend. Throughout the most important bit, the vows, a small child decided to howl and scream, and boy did THAT echo around the church!! The irresponsible parent didn't take the child outside, and in my opinion, the moment was ruined. Nobody heard a word of the vows, I doubt even the happy couple could hear themselves think. There and then I vowed that if/when I got married, I would have a 'no children' policy. And I stuck to it. My future sister in law asked us if she could bring her eldest daughter as her husband couldn't make it to the wedding. We pointed out that there were no children invited whatsover, and sis in law came alone.

How about an 'anonymous' call to the hotel to explain that these irresponsible parents plan to lock their children in the hotel room all day . I am sure the hotel wouldn't be happy about that, just think of the hazards a bored child could find to play with in a hotel room - electric plugs/wires/sockets/switches, water, bath & shower, windows, doors & door hinges, mini bar, trouser press, kettle, glassware.....it doesn't bear thinking about.

But more to the point - as they apparently have nobody to babysit for them that day, just WHY can't they politely refuse the invitation. SOME people!!!!!
I'll hope and pray she has the baby the day before, and then none of them can turn up and ruin the wedding!!


K

Claire could someone not tell the hotel that a baby monitor will not be enough at a wedding reception ???

Insurance liability etc ?

If no one can babysit for the children and it's that important why can't one stay at home with the children and the other attend?