General Chat

I read this at my husbands funeral 6 months ago


Come to me in my dreams and then
By day I will be well again
For the nights will help to pay for my sad longings of the day
Hold my hand and kiss my hair
Let me know that you are there
Whisper to me on the breeze
And help my aching heart to ease.

Wendy

aaaaah PSD, that is so nice (Remember Me by Lynn New)


made me think of everyone who is no longer with us <3

and it made me weep

Wendy, those words are beautiful, I hope you have dreams that help you get through the days without your husband.

Scozz, healing tears I hope.


Lizx

Just sitting here wondering where the time goes,It's 20 yrs today that my mother died and yet remember it as if it was yesterday.
Lily

Asked for this at my mum's funeral, the vicar didn't know it so I sent her it. She asked for it to use again.


You can shed tears that he/she is gone

Or you can smile because he/she has lived



You can close your eyes and pray that he/she will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he/she has left



Your heart can be empty because you can't see him/her

Or you can be full of the love that you shared



You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday



You can remember him/her and only that he/she is gone

Or you can cherish his/her memory and let it live on



You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what he/she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.



written 1981

David Harkins 1959 -

Silloth, Cumbria, UK

Pat <3

Pat, those are lovely words, but it's hard not to grieve, altho it's often for ourselves we grieve, especially if our loved one has been released from pain and suffering.

Lily, it was 17 years last Wednesday that my Mum died, and on Thursday my baby brother celebrated his 60th birthday, his party was at the weekend. It felt strange to be celebrating yet remembering my late parents at the same time, wishing they could have celebrated with us.

Lizx

Hello liz

My baby brother 's birthday is on the 19th may and our mum died on the 21st may,so know the feeling
By the way my baby brother is now 67
Lily x

Hello Liz

Those words don't stop the grieving straight after death but I think they put it all in context.

If you don't love you won't get hurt so the cost of loving someone is pain. On death you will grieve but then the memories of wonderful times come through, remembering the good times and being thankful for them.

Watched my OH's aunt spend 10 years in total depression because of her husband's death. Her life was so miserable as she just couldn't accept he'd been ill for years.

My mother had a rough first couple of months after my father's death. She then sorted out a new life and enjoyed herself. She never remarried, she talked about dad and you knew she missed him but she remembered the good times and didn't let his death overwelm her and take the good away.

I take my lead from mum, grieve it has it's place but let the good memories in. You'll always miss them but would you want to have been without them? I have found the pain has always been worth it. I'm just grateful they were in my life.

Pat <3

Just reading all the poems again it's six years ago today my husband died
Remembered with love <3

Liz,

You nudged this up on 6th August last year mentioning me by name.

I never got to thank you at that time but would like to take this opportunity to say how much I appreciated your kind thought. <3

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the day of my beloved daughter' s funeral.
Although missed the same each and every day, some days are just too painful.

Thank You again

Jo <3

This poem has strangely helped over the many years since my Grandson was called back aged just 3. He would have been 19 on 20th of this month.

"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to love while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead."
"It may be six or seven years
Or only two or three,
But will you till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?"
"He'll bring his charms to gladden you
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
To comfort you through grief."
"I cannot promise he will stay
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."
"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds of this great land,
I have selected you."
"Now will you give him all your love
Not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take him back again?"

...
Yes my love, Gammies eyes are wet, she misses you
You were her ray of sunshine, with eyes so very blue
For many years sunflowers she has planted just for you
And if she closes up her eyes you are with her too

<3

I put this up some time ago ,It just may help some one. I have gone,But I am here, You are part of me as I am part of you, I am the Earth,The Wind ,The Trees the Flowers and their perfume ,I am the Sun The Moon,The Stars and all things. I am Eternal, and will be with you forever. Just remember my smile, and my love for you,till we meet again.**M**.

I am glad this thread still helps people who are missing loved ones. Thank you to everyone who contributes their memories, thoughts and verses or special words.

Also the wise words, Pat you put things very well, and I know a lot of the time our grief is selfish in that we mourn our loss and sometimes forget that the person gone was suffering too much to stay with us.

Lilybids, I hope your memories will make you smile, how lucky you were to have someone so special in your life.

Carol, it's hard when you think of the lost potential of children lost too soon but I am glad you have words that comfort you in your loss and you can look at the sunflowers and smile. I have a vase of sunflowers that I was sent for my birthday so as I see them every day in the living room, I will think of your grandson and all our loved ones gone before. I wish I could see if my baby girl has 'grown up' in the spirit world where I hope she is with my parents and other relatives.

Merlin, your words are very moving as were the others you put on here.
I feel sure one day we will meet our loved ones again.

Thoughts for all those grieving.

Lizxx

Nudging this thread as it seems relevant right now and I know there will be many words on here that will be appropriate for those who are mourning loved ones.

Thinking of our Caz and Deanna and all those we have lost from the boards over the years


Lizxx

Joeva,

I am sorry I didn't see your thank you before now, not sure how I missed it when I was answering others. I am glad the thread gave a little comfort and hope you are getting through the days without too much sorrow. I know myself that the pain is sometimes really intense but I promise things ease as time goes by altho we never forget our lost loved ones, especially those taken too soon.

I have been watching Sixth Sense (recording it ) and the messages from Colin Fry help confirm my belief that one day I will be reunited with my family gone ahead and especially with my beloved daughter. It's a comfort to me.

Take care all


Lizxx

Dear Liz, thank you for this page,
I have lost both my Parent's and 2 sisters ,you learn to go on with your life ,but the pain does not ever go away and each time I lose a friend it all floods back.
However life can still be very wonderful, I am very happy with my life ,I have learnt to enjoy every moment and spend all my time learning and doing new things I have all my memories around me by way of Pictures of my loved ones, each night before I go to sleep I look at my loved ones and say good night to them.
I am now able to find Joy in many things especially my garden, also my singing ,I often talk to my Father and my sister Barbara, also my dear mother.
God Bless our Caz and all our friends
<3 Marie <3( :-) <3

Dear Liz, thank you for this page,
I have lost both my Parent's and 2 sisters ,you learn to go on with your life ,but the pain does not ever go away and each time I lose a friend it all floods back.
However life can still be very wonderful, I am very happy with my life ,I have learnt to enjoy every moment and spend all my time learning and doing new things I have all my memories around me by way of Pictures of my loved ones, each night before I go to sleep I look at my loved ones and say good night to them.
I am now able to find Joy in many things especially my garden, also my singing ,I often talk to my Father and my sister Barbara, also my dear mother.
God Bless our Caz and all our friends
<3 Marie <3( :-) <3

This was at a service a few weeks ago of a young mum, a long time family friend .

Look for me in Rainbows

Time for me to go now, I won't say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, way up in the sky.
In the morning sunrise when all the world is new,
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

Time for me to leave you, I won't say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, high up in the sky.
In the evening sunset, when all the world is through,
Just look for me and love me, and I'll be close to you.

It won't be forever, the day will come and then
My loving arms will hold you, when we meet again.

Time for us to part now, we won't say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, shining in the sky.
Every waking moment, and all your whole life through
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

Just wish me to be near you,
And I'll be there with you.

Music and lyrics: Conn Bernard (1990). Vicki Brown

................................................................................................................................................

.... On her mother's birthday recently, the sky was lit by the most amazing bright double rainbow.- The first we've seen in ages.

Gwyn

This poem represents the time from when you were born until the time your depart from this world.

The Dash Poem -
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Beautiful words Gwyn and how lovely that the rainbow came on your friend's mother's birthday, surely a sign that your friend was around.

Paula, I like those verses and they are so true.

Marie, life has to move on and it's up to us how we go, far better to remember our loved ones with a smile and to chat to them if we want, than to stay stuck in the grief and waste the rest of our time here. Glad you find joy in life and hope you will continue to do so, I am sure your loved ones are helping you tread this path.

Lizxx