Genealogy Chat

Have just found this thread and am really laughing...will show my husband who is a pastor! :O)))) Aileenx

Dont know if this is the same thing, but I was reading about the Pole Lane Chapel in Darwen Lancs, which was a breakaway group from, I think, Upper Darwen Chapel. The reason they broke away from the Upper Chapel was because the Curate there was suspected of being, wait for it, wait for it...A UNITARIAN! (I dont even know what that is, so it cant really be anything very naughty)

Lost membership by indifference! It's great and I'm sure is the reason my brother stopped going to church. lol

I went to a C of E school and we used to have our Harvest Festival service in the church. I was late getting there and the door was closed. I knew that I had to get in because I was supposed to be reading the lesson. It didn't occur to me that I could just walk in - so I knocked on the door very loudly! It must have echoed round that church like thunder. The headmaster was laughing like a drain when he let me in - must have given them a fright though! Magsx

Hi Mandy Both

I read somewhere that someone twisted a tonsil in church while singing a hymn and had to leave quickly to visit a throat specialist,

Hiya Mal Nice one, nearly caught me out!!! Thanks for your help with Baptist minister query, makes sense now. You up here visiting rellies (dead or alive lol)?? Mandy :)

Hi Mandy How about being totally legless (Yes I own up to it) 12 fit young soldiers doing mountain traning in the Lake District in June.(a few years ago) We come down of the mountains after roughing it for a week and decide to make camp in the valley. What do we find but The Church standing there with the door open and it seemed quicker to go inside and get something to eat and drink. We drank so much we were all totally out of it (should have put the tents up first). Never mind I dont think any of us felt the lumps in the ground that night. Its not as bad as it sounds ---- honest The Church was a pub. Mal ( wiil be up your way at the end of the month)

Oh Tracey, you really made me laugh. That is the sort of thing I usually do so now I always make sure I sit at the back and can follow everyone else. Lorrainex

Hi This didn't cause us to leave the church but it caused alot of white knuckles on the pews! At a wedding you have to be extremely careful to avoid double entendres... things that are quite innocuous at any other time acquire any number of inappropriate connotations. Unfortunately... The clergyman who was taking the service and preaching announced the text on which he was basing his talk at the start. Nothing unusual in that, you might say, but how many would be unaware enough to choose this from the psalms for a wedding address: And the Lord shall bless thy going out and thy coming in. My husband was best man and heard the concerted intake of breath from the congregation as he watched the bridesmaid's knuckles whiten on the pew beside him! In fact there was a whole succession of bizarre things that happened but that really was The Punch Line. Christine

Liz, absolutely - we are a churchgoing family and always say the church is for the sinner, not the saint. Mandy :)

Found some more: Died happily in consequence in an accident the week before Died happily at an advanced age Died comfortable Expelled for very improper conduct and for refusing to let the church investigate Expelled for irregularities Died with a comfortable hope Expelled for separation from wife Died suddenly at prayer Died triumphant in the Redeemer Died a few days after joining Lost membership by indifference

At my Nans funeral the whole family was in stitches much to everyones disapproval. (She would have loved it!) The vicar was quite seriously explaining how she was a busy lady and was never at home when he called round to visit. What he didn’t know was that Nan used to hide in the pantry until he had gone.

Was listening to a sermon once when all of a sudden the minister started speaking funny and then put his hanky over his mouth ... and then continued the rest of the sermon without his false teeth which he had spat into his hanky. I was a teenager, sat with others, and we must have nearly burst blood vessels trying not to laugh too loud!!

Worse still is when the priest/vicar says something not quite right and it has a double meaning. Several times its happened in my church and looking around trying not to laugh out loud but catching the eye of others that have realised what he's said. Best part is when the priest/vicar doesn't realise or even better when he does!!!! Especially with the strait laced ones!!!!

It is impossible to stop giggling once you start - despite the fact that everyone is turning to look at you. I always leave the church with a very red face. Whenever I fidget in my seat it is always the one that makes a sound as if I have just passed wind! And as I mouth the word to the hymns I always seem to be standing by the person singing with gutso and very out of tune!

ime with lyla,on this one,any place where quiet is the norm,anything that happens starts me giggling,and i cant stop. my daughter aged about six,was a flower girl at a church wedding,the vows were being said,and my daughter broke wind rather loudly...say no more,i had to leave the very silent ,full of echo church,pretty smartish. bryan.

Hi Marian, Loved your church story, I said that once 'pleased to meet you', my family never let me forget it, 'its peace be with you' but whenever we go to church they always rush to shake my hand and say 'pleased to meet you' oh how they smirk lol. Peace be with you Lynda

Brilliant Marion LOL!

Dont no about painfull imputation but he screamed the place down and i was matron of honour very embarrasing