Genealogy Chat

I enjoy doing look ups, and although i say it myself, there are not many that i dont find. I am promp with replies to request and quite often don't even get a thank you - not that it bothers me much However it really REALLY irritates me when i have done the look up to find the request on another look up thread! PLEASE DON'T DO IT- to me or to others who freely give of their time to help you Jess jess x

Just wish if i got it wrong people would tell me,not just post elsewhere and get the same result. I went ot a lot of trouble for someone and they've asked for the same from someone else- as if they dont believe me! -AND not even passed comment on my thread! jess - going GGRRRRR........

I'm with you Jess! Carrie

Hi Jess, I don't blame you at all,I really don't know where you get all your patience from. I'm one of many who can never thank you enough for your time and patience.It's what we've said before some people are just very rude and ungrateful they lack good manners. So on behalf of the majority who thankfully aren't like the above, Thanks and bless you Jess, Elaine x

Jes, perhaps they think they will get a different answer if they post it on another thread? It does make you wonder what goes through their tiny minds. Never mind, it is all worth while when you turn up something and the person comes back with a great big thankyou cos it has made their day. Peter

Jess I've noticed exactly what you're describing here and it's a right cheek. I totally agree with you. You do loads of look-ups for people but some just don't want to spend any money themselves, they must think it all comes for free instead of, as most of us know, it can cost many, many hundreds of pounds. Like you, I really don't mind doing look-ups for people either, in fact have e-mailed them and offered. All of them have sent a thank you too though I have to say. Also, I find that some people just don't bother to read a topic heading, they see a tip and immediately start asking that person to do the look-ups for them. Sorry, I'm having my moan too, but I know what you mean. Jan :-)

Jess, I seem to remember I was on the receiving end of your complaints once and quite frankly I found you impolite despite my polite apologies after a clear misinterpretation of my posting to another discussion thread. Perhaps if you suffer from over-sensitiveness then you would be best not spending so much time on this site. I appreciate all the help I get here and, time permitting (life is busy, job, family) I always try to follow through and thank people for responses. However, the nature of this message board and its limited functionality (especially for locating previous discussions) makes it easy for people to forget to respond. Try not to take it so personally, chill! Regards, Andy

Andrew - you view of me is i think a minority opinion. Nothing to do with the topic.- which was about repeat postings As you haven't asked me to do a look up can't really see what you are doing on here. jess

Jess Do you remember the thread a week or so ago by Lou about this same subject? It was called 'can I have a moan please' I think. Like we said on there, it good to let off steam about things like this, but at the end of the day it will keep happening as the people to whom the thread is directed dont read it anyway. There the sort who dont go back to their own threads never mind read other peoples. Probably just keep posting new ones. Margaret

I admire you all for clearly sacrificing more of your spare time to do research for others more than the average member here. I do not know where you find the time (are you retired or housewives?). I barely fit in time to research my own ancestors and if I sacrificed that I'd never progress. Also, why don't the people requesting lookups (on Ancestry for example) cough up some money and perhaps help bring the price down for those of us who pay.

Jess I feel i speak on the vast marjority on these boards. your help is invaluable. You take time out to help loads of people, and whilst most say thankyou it does p... you off when they are rude and ungrateful. I don't blame you for being annoyed, ive been there myself, my blacklist is growing. Some people spoil it for others, there not prepared to read the boards for info, put their hand in their pockets, and some think by asking again they will get different info. IT COSTS NOTHING TO SAY THANKYOU. Im with you on this one JUlie

Id like to add you are not over sensitive at all, you have every right to complain when people can't be bothered to reply wirth thanks. Julie

Yes Jess, I think we must be gluttons for punishment. After my moan last week about wasting time and credits I did it again yesterday, looked up all the poss marriages for someone, put it on the thread, no response, and now thread disappeared. I just dont understand these people BUT as we all know, they are in the minority and Im sure like me everyone else is very grateful for people like you.

Jess. Keep up the good work!! I really appreciate your help and know that if the person is there somewhere, you will route them out like a good detective. You have helped me to knock down two brick walls and without your help, they would still be there. Jan

What !! they just deleted the thread Heather after you'd posted all the information, that's outrageous. They must think you're their personal researcher and don't want other people to see 'what THEY paid for'. It gets worse. Jan

I've got two black eyes and a very sore head where i keep bashing away at things for people - without sounding pompous i know i have found the right person for them and they ask someone else. i guess it come from a lack of understanding. example: 'can you find Joe Browne born 1871 in Leicester anywhere?' so you return Joseph Brown complete with parents and sibs, address and occupation etc and they come back with 'No, he was definately JOE' ..and then ask someone else ....

Andrew I think we are all a combination of them all. Me personally, I have a job (albeit one I do predominately from home), very young children and a disability but will help where I can. There is a pattern emerging of people asking for ancestry look ups night after night. And not just '1891 look up please', they want 1861-1901 including the children who appear in 1861 after they've married and had children of their own through to 1901. I've started to ignore those requests, I admitted ages ago that I have list pinned above my pooter of people I will NOT help out anymore, either because they are rude, ungrateful or simply have been taking the p*** for months now and obviously have no intentions of putting their hands in their pockets for certs, let alone credits or an ancestry sub. Sadly, like Margaret says, it wont stop because the people threads like this are aimed at giving a wake up call to are the ones who never bother to read them If it gives them nothing for free or isn't related to a look up they have requested, they're not interested. And while there's people willing to search 1861-1901 for several generations of a family for them, why should they do the work themselves? Lou

Trouble is when one of the persistent p*** takers get short shrift off someone there is always another naive kind soul who jumps in a gives them what they are asking for.

Lou Well said! What gets me most of all is those who ask for 1881 census look up's and BMD's without even looking on the FREE sites available, LDS and FreeBMD is easier to find on Google then This site? fair enough, if their Newbies, put them straight but for the 'Ones' who aren't, thats taking the whole Biscuit? and whats worse? They know it! Carrie

I think the problem with 'the naive person who jumps in and gives them what they are asking for' is that they cant believe that people are so heartless that they will take the p**s. They wouldnt dream of doing it and cant believe that others would. If those who persist is asking the same questions dont learn how the find the info for themselves then they will be a newbie for ever. Hard as it may seem to others, you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes. Margaret