Genealogy Chat

Giles I really don't think this site is for purists like yourself. I have BMD certificates for all my grandparents right back to 1837 except for one line where I'm really well and truly stuck. My paternal grandmother Annie was illigitimate but I have her BMD certs but I cannot find her mother Laura's birth anywhere.I have her on all censuses from 1861, even her father, I believe but cannot prove it, was living at her grandfathers address on 1861 census. I have searched every type of record for her birth as have members on here for me, therefore I contact every Cubitt that comes up on this and other sites in the hope I may find someone that maybe has come to a dead end like me or has the missing link because.. ..I received Laura's death certificate the other week and found she had a son present at her death, another illigitimate child called William who I didn't even know about. perhaps one of his descendents is like me looking for their ancestors . Perhaps they have found the link between William and the grandparents. Perhaps they don't know that he had a sister or half sister, my gran annie. But William lived in Chorlton, Birmingham which is a long way from Catfield in Norfolk where Laura was born and Yarmouth where she died. If there is anyone there who thinks there might possibly be a connection don't you think this would be the most fantastic news for us? That Great great great grandchild could now be living in Australia for all I know. That is why this site is great. It is for sharing and helping each other, For purists like yourself I cannot think of any reason why you would want to be on here,. Who are you looking for, Can we help you?

I'm probably wasting my time debating this point with a young man who has a very definite and limited view of what genealogy is all about but one more try: 'You have to think about it logically... Somebody searching for their blood relations, but only asking about a surname in another member's tree, based on the same birth place will only result in 1 of 2 outcomes. They're either related to a partner's ancestors in your tree by 1 or more generations difference, or there's no connection at all. Either way, the connection will never be by blood. I've had this happen to me too many times.' No this isn't logical. Only a few weeks ago I had the following message: Hello Judith. We are researching the family H____ in C______. We come down from a Henry born circa 1849, son of James H____ - Ag Lab. Does this mean anything to you? Give me a call. All the best. T ' This led to some shared research, swapping of census images and visits to the SoG and we were able to prove we shared an ancestor, George H______ born 1703 in C_____. I had access to parish registers at the SoG so could provide T with James H____'s parentage and the link to my tree but conversely T had information on James and Henry and their sibling's descendants which I would never have been able to find.

Giles, Get a Grip. Answer to your question in your thread,,,,'or is it just me,' Sadly in one>YES,

I was flattered when another GR member asked me to help research their tree for them. it wasn't that they couldn't be botherer either, just needed a hand to show them the way, i was more than happy to do so.

How frustrating is it when people don't get the point. Sorry Giles, but you really do not get the point of genealogy and what this site is about. This website is obviously not for you. Your probably have lots of blood relatives on this site that you have never had contact with because you go about with the attitude that unless they have the exact name etc etc then they are not going to be related and if they are then they won't be blood relatives so there is no point. Not exactly what you said, but that is what sound like you are saying. I am so so glad I have never thought like this. Cos I would never have the family bible, photographs, letters and stories I do now. The reason, the person I contacted on here, did not have any EXACT matches to anyone in my tree. But because of the surname and locality I took the chance and boy did it pay off.

Giles you are young, you'll learn! jess

The Tree I am displaying on here is purely of Blood Relatives and their Spouses. I have made links with others who are only related by marriage, and have an off-line tree which contains all their information added to mine. Surely the most important thing for all of us is, not how big or which individuals are included/excluded, but to test the accuracy of our own and our Contact's information until eventually we will all be able to present our Trees as guaranteed 100% accurate. Unfortunately I don't expect to live that long and hope that maybe one of my Grandchildren will pick up this 'Work in Progress' and continue with it.

Amen, and goodnight all

How I wish that somebody would find me to be a relative to.I get abit excited when I see one of very fewnames of mine,not a very common one being looked for,but the name is all,no dates, no info at all.So I contact them with my info.and I have had replies saying,Sorry,all mine are in Australia.If they would put that in at first I wouldnt bother replying.Just one little clue is all I ask. Margaret.

Judith, From what you've described to me and if I've understood correctly, you did not need T to help you find your ancestors back to George H. You could check Censuses yourself and had additional knowledge/access to parish registers. It was only a matter of time before you found George H, and was able to map out his descendants including an individual in T's tree of his ancestor's parentage. T's original letter was a waste of time, as there was no connection at first. You would have made the connection with him in time, and be the one to contact him on an individual basis, independant of his research. It was only after you made the connection could you both help each other with descendants etc. This is a case of the contacter not doing enough research, and you not having finished yours, before trying to make a connection.

Giles....sweetie go to bed, tomorrow is another day, I have had to laugh as you have wasted so much time answering everybody, a lot more than the odd looking for thingy that you moaned about answering originally. Have fun X

Giles, you are not reading what we are saying. I already had my line back to George but T did not. He had descendants on his line that I had not found (and some I would not have been able to) . Of course I would eventually have researched enough descendants of George to have one of T's ancestors. Equally T could have got back to George through his own research. His letter was most definitely NOT a waste of time because we were able to provide that information to each other NOW rather than 'eventually'. We both gained through sharing research.

Judith, I have to watch a movie with my friend then go to bed, so we'll continue this discussion tomorrow. Interesting case though...

Until very recently, I had so few confirmed ancestors, after 5 years of research, that I would happily have put my Grandfather's neighbour's dog on my tree. You miss the point about surnames - my family name is as common as muck in Lancashire, and far commoner than Smith. I welcome ANY contact, however vague, from a fellow Holden in the desperate hope that they will be able to break down my brickwall - I simply DO NOT KNOW who my 3 x GGP were; I have closely combed every Parish Register in Lancashire, and he is not on it. I suspect he was illegitimate and the only hope I now have of tracing him, is by someone who knows something I don't! I have amassed a huge file of spare Holdens and have been able to help many people find THEIR rellies. I don't grudge this, indeed I am delighted that I can pass on in this way the many, many favours I have received from members of this site. I recently broke down a brick wall for someone who was advertising on the GRD - had it not been for a member on this site, I wouldnt even have known of the existence of the Directory and though the contact did not help ME find any rellies, I helped them find theirs after 8 years research - nice feeling. You could always use the Gr automated reply - 'This is not my relative'. Having received a few of those myself, I can assure you that the recipient will never be silly enough to contact you again. Final point - your Grandchildren may pick up your tree where you have left off and be disappointed because it is 'not complete, its only our direct line' and then smother it with 5th cousins 9 times removed. And a DNA test cannot POSSIBLY tell you that your tree is correct - most of the people on it are dead and cannot be used for comparative testing. Olde Crone

Giles, The way I see it is this:- If it was not for a relations partners family(1,2,3 or 4 generations up) we would not be here!!!! So whether they are YOUR close/distant relations, or close/distant relations of a spouse they are still connected with you in some way. And as the saying goes FAMILY IS FAMILY. Karen.

Giles, Do you not think that asking questions of others on this board IS research? Or does research just consist of BMD/Parish records and census?

Hi I'm looking for my g. grandfather a Giles Gaffney well i think he was as my poor g. gran says it was her husband. Howerever she did have a memory lapse in 1939 just before the war, if there's someone please... somewhere out there who may be of only blood Please please contact me. Only do so if you are of blood.... and it must be with the correct day month and year of your enquiry.... Thank you Granny Giles.

Giles.. Just think of all the 'timewasters' you could have politely replied to while falling out with some on this thread. Or is that what you really want?? Marion ;)))

Giles I hope that you do not ever want help from anyone on this site. You may reap what you sow. Personally I always respond & have always received responses. Some helpful, others not but better a definite 'no' than wondering about connections. Pat

What an interesting thread - I've read right through!! Woe betide anyone who sends me a vague message asking about the Smiths (or whoever) in my tree.............. ..............but not because they are a waste of time - on the contrary, because I am likely to start doing their tree for them lol !! My reply might read: ''I don't think I am related to your John Smith, as I see on the 1891 census that yours was married to Ethelburga, whilst mine was married to Mary - I have looked at the earlier census and have found your John with his parents, would you like to send you the page?'' Following this, I end up having long correspondence with people, in some cases for years!! Often our emails end up hardly ever mentioning family history!! The above sounds like I am blowing my own trumpet - I don't mean it to - what I am getting at is - this site helps people like me to MAKE FRIENDS - something I find quite difficult in the ''real world'', but give me a keyboard and I'll be friends with anyone lol Olde Crone - stop hanging around on this thread - I saw you reading it - I have asked a very important question on your ''How Many Samuels'' thread which I'm sure all the ladies on this site will have some suggestions for......... (see the second page of replies, message about number 30 or so.) Giles - sorry, I don't think these message boards are for you!! Happy Hunting One and All Sarah