Genealogy Chat

I've at long last found my gt gt grandmother in London on the 1841 census. Aged '20' (rounded down from her actual 22) she was a female servant in the household of Levi Cohen in Islington. No surprises there but I suddenly realised that I know something she probably didn't know on census night 6th June. In front of me I have the birth certificate of her daughter, Margaret Ann Manley, born 14 February 1842; so in the next 8 months or so she was to leave her job, move in with the baby's father John (who, as an apprentice watchmaker, was probably still living with his employer in 1841 though I've not yet found him) and give birth. But in June 1841 she was either just enjoying being courted by John without a care in the world, or possibly beginning to suspect that they hadn't been careful enough and worrying about how they would cope (both his and her parents were already dead by then so no help from that quarter.) Seeing her name on the census page I wanted to reach and out and tap her on the shoulder, tell her that everything was going to work out OK. Should I go for counselling now or just keep searching for John to make sure he was nearby for her?! Judith

I often get emotional about my family , wish I could have met them .

Happens to us all I think. I found out yesterday that 3 of my hubbys Grandmothers siblings all died within days of each other. Now all I can think of is why this happened. They were all under 10. It's such a shame when things like that happen.

doing the family tree 'does' become obsessive, You wonder what kind of lives these people led, and was it difficult etc, I often think i was born in the wrong century! and would have loved to have lived in the 1800's, but in reality would have probably found it very tough

I came across my great grandmother living with her mother and brother and sister in 1861. I know they had all died except her by the time she was twelve so sad.

Hello there, I often become emotionally involved with my genealogy. Found two of my relatives aged 12 and 8 in the workhouse. I kept worrying about them!! Couldn't rest until I found out they got out of the workhouse. I just think your reactions show you are a very human person with feelings and emotions. Nothing wrong with that. You're a human being not a robot. Carry on with your Family History and celebrate your compassionate feelings.

Judith It does get to you doesn't it? I have 3 siblings I need to find as my gg grandmother has them all with her on the 1841 but none are with her on the 1851 - I haven't found their deaths yet so not sure what happened to them. Tracy from Teeside - another branch of my family lost 2 children within weeks of each other and when I googled the year - there had been an outbreak of smallpox. Their death certificates are on my long list to check this out. Debby

I got really upset when I found my G-grandmothers cousin had killed himself with a shotgun at the age of 17. I am still trying to find the inquest report to find out what on earth made him do something so awful & waste his life. Last year I actually located his grave and put some flowers down- 140 years after his death. I feel sad when I see his name on my tree with no wife next to him or children to follow. I think these feelings are normal- afterall, these people are our family!!!

Good to know others share the same feelings. At least we can comfort ourselves with the fact our ancestors must have been tough enough to withstand all that happened, else we wouldn't be here now. Judith

I think everyone gets obsessional at times. I have a relative who died in the summer of 1881. When I saw him on the 1881 census, my first thought was that he and his wife didn't know then that time was already running out for them.

Hi I could not get over the fact that my mothers great uncle died at 24 he killed himself and I got the newspaper account of what had happened at the inquest and it made sad reading his father and the people he worked with had given evidence. Margaret x

I strongly believe that the reason most of us are tracing our trees, is because they are family and we want to share their lives as much as possible, the good times and the bad. I must admit I have cried over mine, a gr uncle married on his last leave before he was killed in the 1st WW and never told his family, or change his next of kin forms and so his wife didn't find out until 7 months after the event. Even knowing that I will cry again at some point will not stop me carrying on.

As you say, we all get emontional of 'our family' my g.g.granddad died aged 31 leaving 2 small children under the age of 5, I thought of my own son who was the same age and has children the same age. It really upset me, I sent for the death certificate to find out why he died but the cause of death wasn't recorded. It took me ages to shake it off. What are we like? Pauline

I didn't really know much about my maternal grandmother's family until I started my research. I have in my possession a necklace that belonged to my ggrandmother, but had never really thought about it before. It was something she must have actually worn! My mum never knew her grandmother, she died 2 yrs before my mum was born, she was only 56. From what I have learned she had four marriages, in her (relatively) short life, and at least one baby that died within 4 hours of being born. She died of peritonitis, due to pancreatitis. I often wonder what her life must have been like, was her condition caused by alcohol? And 4 husbands? was she mad or hoplessly romantic? I will never know!

I felt so sad when I saw the 1861 census for my rellie - on board his fishing boat aged 25. Within the year the boat would be wrecked and his body lost forever. it's that feeling that you can look into their future for them that gets to me...... Judith - Just make sure that when you go back to tap your gg-grandmother on the shoulder, you ONLY tell her everything will work out fine - don't tell her to be careful, or you may find yourself disappearing! MMM

I feel often that I knew mine, especially a particular G Grandfather who died 30 years before I was born, felt he was pushing me every step of the way, and I never even knew his name till I started my tree, now I have his pic from someone with the same GG Grandfather, through this site.

I havnt got that far back yet, but Today I have managed to get loads of info on my Grandfathers family, and also his wedding date. I know its not that far back but I sat in the Libary and got a lump in my throat thinking of my grandparents starting out their married life together, and at the begining of the war .....i was soo happy with my discovery I had to tell the stranger sitting next to me.. Anita x

I nearly cried when I found out about my ggrandmother. She had nine children in total but only four survived childhood. Her first husband died, her 2 yr old son died and her grandmother all within 6 mnths of each other. Then she found she was expecting twins. The twins were born and then died within 3 months. She remarried had another child and was widowed once again. She was a real survivor.

I dearly wish I knew what happened to my great aunt Daisy, the illegitimate daughter of my great grandmother, born in the local workhouse 1888, on census up to 1901, can't find a marriage or death for her. Lisa

I just got back from an evening out to read all your experiences of becoming involved in the ancestors lives. Wonderwhether people some time in the future will be doing the same with our lives? I hope those of you who are still searching will find a happy outcome. My Margaret and John were together for 46 years until Margaret's death, and had 9 children (though that first baby died aged 3). They did get married, but not until they'd lived as man and wife for 38 years - when I find a way of going back to speak to them I must ask about that. Oh by the way MMM, don't worry I learned from years of watching Doctor Who that one should never try to change events when time travelling :-) Judith