Genealogy Chat

It probably happens quite often when they decide to hide on census night! Lol But here is the story that made me cry yesterday...

When the 1851 census came on line, I discovered that my 3xgrt grandfather had had a son, who I hadn’t found a reference to before. Unfortunately, the enumerator only recorded him by his initial and this was illegible. However, it showed him to be 21 and a lieutenant in the army. I had a rummage around but, without a regiment or a first name, I couldn’t find anything. Yesterday, I was looking for somebody completely different on Google, when they suggested that I look for them in Google Books. I had a go and found nothing so, decided to try all the names I could think of. I typed in my 3xgrt grandfather’s name, Robinson Ayton, and up popped the ‘Annual Register, 1858 – Deaths in India’ November 1857 29. Of wounds received in Lucknow, Lieut. H.A.W. Ayton, Eighty-fourth Regt., only son of Robinson Ayton, esq., late Surgeon Thirty-fourth Regt. This gallant young officer was in all actions of General Havelock with the rebels, and had a horse shot under him at Bithoor on Aug. 16, 1857. I think it must have been the surprise because I wasn’t actively looking for him and also because it’s a sad story, but I sat in front of my screen and blubbed. OH now knows,for sure, that I’m potty and a lost cause! Helenxx

Helen When I finally found my grants all living in one room on 1881 census I could have cried too, but nothing as moving or as interesting as your story. What is Google Books? Sounds like another great tip Carley

Hello Carley, I think Google Books must be newish. A link to it appeared on my screen when I did a normal google search. They seem to have up loaded lots of books that you can search and read. I had to register to see some books because of copyright, and you can't print these out or save the image, but for the Annual Register, I was able to save the image. From the little I saw yesterday, it looks great :o) Helenxx

I would imagine the high infant mortality of our ancestors has disturbed most of us at some point, but I was very upset recently to find the deaths of 4 of my ancestors -brothers and sisters - all under the age of 5 - and the deaths all registered in December 1838. How on earth did their parents come to terms with something like that? Bev x

Last week I ordered a job lot of death certificates. My great gran, Selina, had two sons in France. She left her husband and returned to England. Her husband put the boys in an orphanage. The youngest of the two died of some childhood desease (we don't even know what his name was) Great grandparents are reunited in London and Selina gives birth to a girl then a boy then another girl then another boy. The second daughter dies before 1891. In Dec 1892 GGrandfather dies of T.B. In April 1893 the youngest son dies of Tubercular Meningitis (aged 23 mths) Selina's grandmother dies in Aug 1893. In Oct 1893 Selina gives birth to twins who are premature. One twin dies 31st Dec 1893 and the other 5th Jan 1894. When I received the certificates I sat there for about 30 minutes just staring at them and wondering how the Hell did that poor woman carry on.

Bev and Janet, It's hard to imagine how they coped. I know that infant mortality was high but the fact that it happened more often can't have made it any easier for them. It's details like this that give us a glimpse of their lives and makes them so much more than a name on a piece of paper. Helenxx

Helen - my great grandfather was at Lucknow too! Luckily he survived or I wouldn't be here. Recently I inherited his daughters (my grandmother) postcard album. There was a very old photo of the place were the siege of Lucknow happened. I removed it from the album and found that my grandfather had written on the back 'I dare say this brings to mind some of the names your father used to speak about'. That brought a few tears I can tell you. One sentence and you're suddenly whisked back 150 years. I also found some postcards my grandfather wrote during WWI to my dad. Dad was only about 3 or 4 and they are so loving and with lots of kisses. As my Dad died when I was only 14, I never had the opportunity to truly get to know him. His parents died long before I was born so these postcards make me cry continually! Perhaps my great-grandfather and your 3g uncle (was it?) once met. Julie

For the past year, I believed I knew who my paternal Great-Great Grandfather was, as I'd found his birth and marriage on the LDS site, confirmed these on other sites, and obtained birth and marriage certificates for him, which fitted with other family info I'd discovered. Having made contact for the first time with another family member who had also been researching that line, I was told that the man I'd found wasn't the right one, despite his having the same name and being born at the same time. Although I was sent evidence of that, I still believed there might be room for doubt, as I'd been unable to find any trace of this other man's birth and parentage. I'd also searched in vain for any trace, after they appeared on his birth certificate, of the parents of the man I had found. When the 1851 Census appeared, all became clear. My relative's findings were confirmed, and my GtX2 Grandfather did indeed prove not to be who I first thought he was. However, that 'wrong' man also appeared in the 1851 Census in a very unexpected place. I found him in a Workhouse, aged 11 and with no parents, many miles from his birthplace but in the same county, in the town where his father and most my other ancestors and their relatives had been born and lived. I felt terribly sad for that boy, as he'd very probably been orphaned, and he was living in the same town as his same-aged namesake, who was my Gtx2 Grandfather, not very far away, but in very different circumstances. As my relatives seemed fairly comfortably off, I wonder why this poor boy, who must have been related to them, was left a pauper in the Workhouse, and I did indeed shed tears for him. His plight seems to have been so unnecessary. I look forward now to delving further into what happened to him. CB >*|*<

I found my great grandmothers nephew in a Military school at 10 years old. His father had been in the army and died quite young, though not as a result of army life. He of course joined the army and was killed in WW1. Then I found a wife. They had been married only two months. I then thought to look for a birth a few months later. There was a baby girl, so he was killed and never saw his baby. Probably this happened to lots of men. This one was my family and yes, I cried too, for someone who was long dead and I probably would never have met even if he hadnt had such an untimely death. Daft, aren't we? Margaret

I found out that my Great grandfather was killed age 28, in France in WW1. He left a wife, a 4 y.o. daughter and a 3 y.o. daughter (my Gran). I found out later that he was killed by a gunshot to the head, and his body brought back by the officers of his unit. I cried my eyes out when I read that. Susan

I don't know if anyone feels the same as me, but even though they are faceless names on censuses etc, they are still my family and I love them. What hurt them hurts me. Dianne xx

In the certificates which I have been given from my Dad, I have one for what would have been his Older Brother, who dies when he was only 12. The cause of death was an explosion from chemicals he was shaking in a bottle as part of his science homework.

I always get very upset at the thought of young wives dying in childbirth and leaving lots of children, and of people's little children dying. Although this was a much more common occurence than it is now, I always think that the people would have felt just the same as we would if we lost a spouse or child. All very sad.

My cousin Veronica found the certificate and a newspaper article about my great-grandfather's death. The article explained that he was knocked down by a train, as he had no money for his fare home from work, and had decided to walk down the track. Unfortunately he didn't hear the approach of a train behind him. It brought it home to me what a hand-to-mouth existence some of our forebears had, if he didn't even have enough money to get home. What a sad end to an honest and hard-working life. Helen

Perhaps I'm just over-sentimental. Throughout the 19th century my grandfather's ancestors were all coal miners in Northumberland. I can picture families of 8 or 10 living in tiny cottages, owned by the colliery, in rows and rows of similar back-to-back terraces. I can taste the soot and grime all around. My gt. grandfather had a sister, Jane, who married a stonemason in Jesmond in 1876. After a few years they went back to his parents home village, a very rural area with more sheep than people, and miles of desolate moors. I know life in the country wouldn't have been any easier for her than life in a pit village but at least she had fresh air to breathe. I was recently sent a list of tombstone inscriptions from her home village - up to this point I didn't know where she was buried, and certainly didn't expect to find an inscription for her. She is buried with three generations of her husband's family. For some reason, I just burst into tears when I read the inscription 'In loving memory of Jane Beloved wife of John Common who died at Cherry Tree House, Harbottle, 14th November 1925, aged 73' I'm welling up now just typing this.

I found one of my husband ancestors and discovered the couple had 16 children. However, only 3 made it to adult life, the other 13 died within the first two years of their lives. Tragic.......

Hello, Yes, I find my family history very moving. My grandmother's first cousin was sent to a lunatic asylum because she was suffering from Post Natal Depression and was newly bereaved because her mother had recently died. Her little daughter had to go and live with her paternal grandparents. I can see my relative in the Asylum on the 1901 census - I just hope she gets better; but I won't know for sure until the 1911 census comes out. Also found two of my relatives aged 8 and 11 in the Workhouse because their father got transported to Western Australia. However, this nearly has a happy ending because the youngest son went to live in Australia, so he met his father again. I don't think the older son ever saw his father again. Also found a blood relative who drowned in a cesspool aged 4 years old - the covering had not been secured properly. Cheers, Horatia

I have similar stories about many chidren in the same family dying and was really upset to find out my great uncle had been beheaded by the Japanese in WW2. Must admit tho' have a tear in my eye now reading your stories!! Kaz :o(

Wow! These stories are very poignant. It's reassuring to know that it's normal to be affected by our ancestor's lives. I suppose if we didn't care about them we wouldn't spend so many hours looking for them. It's also interesting to see how much their lives can teach us about history; trying to imagine their homes, clothes and working conditions. Julie R I suspect they must have met in Lucknow, which is an amazing thought. Since yesterday I've been reading everything I can about the siege of Lucknow and the people who took part.It's fascinating. Helenxx