Genealogy Chat

Hi, How do others go about trying to get a response from someone whose Hot Matches show that he is related, but who totally ignored the message that I sent. Why on earth put your tree on a site such as this if you have no intention of making contact , with the possibility of sharing info? Or am I missing the point of GR.....I think that half the fun is finding rellies that you would never find in any other way. Jay.

I am in the same boat as you are Jay. I have sent several messages to a person with 5 matches in his tree to mine. I gave him the benifit of the doubt that maybe he doesn't check GR or his messages very often. It's soooo disappointing, especially since it's on my Dad's side and my Dad knows virtually nothing about his relatives. Still keeping my fingers crossed. Good luck to you, Gail

Hi Gail, I have only sent one message, as I don`t want to seem pushy, but where I`ve had many replies re my names, it hasn`t been the case with my hubby`s side. And of course, this chappie's from hubby`s side , sod`s law, I suppose. Jay.

I wouldn't give up hope. I contacted someone for a friend as they seemed to have relatives in common. I made the contact in February and forgot all about it until September when I got a reply. They just don't use the site very often as it was years ago that they actually started doing their tree, and are not so wrapped up in it after all this time. So you can get replies even after 7 months. Kath. x

I've had the same experience - and why is it always the one name which has been giving you all the trouble which you don't get a reply about?! Do you have to be a paid up member to repy to messages? this may be the reason why they seem to be ignored - it's a way to get people to sign up perhaps. Allie x

well I just checked my hot matches to see how warm they are and there's one in there with four matches to a part of my tree I've been struggling with post 1901 - so fingers crossed he replies (and thank you for the message reminding that I needed to look in hot matches)

Hi another reason to keep up to date on Hot Matches is the huge number of matches to delete otherwise. My arm was dropping off last night 'cos I left it a little while before checking again. LOL ! Still, I think Hot Matches is a good idea, I just wish this chappie would reply........maybe I`ll try him again. Jay.

It is annoying I know but do remember that a lot of pople only log in infrequently, and if they have not ticked the box to request a notification email are completely oblivious to the fact that they have messages waiting. This is happening at the moment with someone who is a related to my wife, we'll just have to wait until she logs in again. I did ask if we could have her external email address but she hasn't responded as yet. Another person who I contacted about a month ago replied yesterday, appologising that she had been too bust looking after her dad who had a stroke on top of his worsening Parkinsons, So do be patient, sometimes a polite reminder after a month or so of waiting can prompt a response.

In answer to the question on this thread - no you don't have to be a paid-up member to reply to messages, only to initiate a contact. Angela

yaaay - how good was that. Got home this evening to find the person I contacted via hotmatches has already replied and we do have a connection So sometimes it does work Zoe (who is over the moon as this is the first contact I've had on any direct branch other than for my own surname)

Hi, And thanks to all of you. I think I may try to contact him again, keeping my fingers crossed , as some of you have had quite a wait, but eventually been successful, so there's hope yet. Jay.

I sent two messages ages ago to someone with a name in his tree that had to be a match - the only family in a small village. He never replied. Some time after when cleaning up my contact list I found he'd opened up his tree for me to view without actually sending me a message. So check your contacts list to double check that non-repliers haven't done the same! David

From the last batch of hot matches, I had one with 32! (yes, thats thirty two) matches. I immediately sent him a mail offering him ma info. No reply. So I thought maybe he wasn't a member any more. But no! In the last update, we now have 34 matches, so he has obviously updated his file in the last month. Still no sign of life. Shame, but its his problem, not mine. I've been sent all the information from another contact who has the info from him. Its my info that he hasn't got.

I do think it is important to think about how you ask. I received a message which said, my grandmother married a James Frew. Is it the same?. No mention of Hot matched no mention of grandmothers name and since I have several James Frews it made the contact even more irritating. I always say Hot Matches has thrown up a connection and so far have had a good responce.

On my hot matches - there are some which are already contacts, as far as the new ones go I have contacted the matches which look likely to be real contacts, and have had replies from all those. What I want is to get rid of the seven pages of ignored hot matches, because they are definitely not matches to anyone on my tree (usually right name, approximate age but nowhere near where any of my people were born). There is one person on that page who is definitely a match - four unusual names, small village, correct year, but I contacted him twice in May or June this year and have not heard, so have not bothered contacting again saying we have a hot match. JJ

JJ You can't get rid altogether but you can put into the 'don't show me again' folder. Tick the box on the right and side AND click the save button at the bottom, or it won't work

you can get rid of hot matches now but time consuming ( for ones already saved) click on name then press discard and its gone Jeanette

I tried discarding ignored matches and they appeared back on the page of saved matches. JJ

I know I just checked after posting I thought they had gone I have 12 pages of no matches jeanette

Re the question of do you have to be a paid up member to reply to messages - I think you do, you certainly had to be when I joined in April. Although I had started to put my tree on here at the beginning of the year I only became a full member when someone contacted me and I realised I couldn't reply to them unless I was a member.