Genealogy Chat

Hi Chris, I think we've all come across things like this and we do understand. I was horrified when I found 2 of my gr-gr-grandmother's sister's children in an 'orphan asylum' miles away from home. They were just 10 & 7yrs old, and described as orphan girls. They weren't orphans, but their father had died 2yrs earlier, leaving their mother with 9 children to raise. All the others were either at home as very young children/babies, or working in the area. I think these 2 were sent away, not being old enough to work, but not young enough to be classed as 'babies' and really needing their mother. In the next census, they were back in their home town, and both married and had families of their own. I kept wondering about who had the task of taking them to this asylylum and leaving them there. What must have been going through these little girls minds, to be left in this awful place? On another branch of the family, my 3xgr-grandmother, was a boarder with a widowed man, and had a baby son with her. I presumed her husband (my 3xgr-grandfather) had died and the children, she had already had with him, as there was no sign of them anywhere in the census. After much perseverance I found him and the all the other children in the workhouse, in another county! They were only identified by initials, but were all together as a 'family'. We'll never know what really happened, but I can't clear my head of the thought that she upped and left him for another bloke. I guess he couldn't work, as he had 4 young children to look after, so their only hope was the workhouse. I welled up when I found him. In the next census, the children are all lodgers/boarders in other households, and no sign of him. Although I haven't found a death reg for him yet, I wonder if he died in the workhouse. He was only 32, the year he was in the workhouse, so probably died before he was 40. Debbie

I hope you are right. I have my own sob story of a bastard girl (my ggg-grandmother) who was sent away from home - just about as far away as was possible without emigrating, she was born in Essex and moved to Pembrokeshire. At least mother and daughter both survived, but after the mother married and had three more children she didn't appear to care much about the three illegitimate children - I've found no further record of the others in Essex so I can only guess that they were also sent away. Twenty years or so later the daughter's marriage is recorded - three months before the birth of her first child. It looks like she, having herself experienced the exile imposed by society on bastards, arranged the wedding fairly rapidly to avoid her child suffering the same fate.

Oh, I've had many a weep over mine. Particularly Jane Green, found dead in a field, of childbed, with her stillborn bastard infant. She was 19. She really really got to me. But the story had a curious follow-up. Jane Green's mother, Amy Green, died a widow in 1820. She left 5 pounds each to her surviving nine children and 33 grandchildren. The rest of her Estate, quite a lot of money and a fully-equipped and stocked farm, she left to her only ILLEGITIMATE grandson. He was the son of her second-oldest daughter. I like to fancy that Amy Green was so distraught at the death of her eldest daughter in such awful circumstances, that when the next daughter came home pregnant, Amy told all the neighbours to mind their own business, the girl and her child were staying here. Amy and her husband also twisted the Vicar's arm up his back and made him baptise the child as follows: John Moreton Green, son of Sarah Green, and natural grandson of Mr Thomas Green. The Vicar must have been spitting, cos he did so love to scrawl 'bastard' in his register. I hope I am right, and that Jane WAS mourned by her family, and they were sorry for casting her out. Olde Crone

I found one of my great grand mother's living with an uncle and aunt in 1851 aged 14. Someone sent me the 1841 census and I found her age 4 with three brothers and sisters and both parents. i know they all died except her of typhoid and t.b. before she was twelve. I felt really sad when I realised she had named her three eldest daughters after her mother and two sisters. Some of our ancestors had unbelievably sad lives.

Oh I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one who sheds a tear or two My husband just doesn't get it. I found my great grandad - family told he had died in ww1, they didn't even have a name for him as his wife was supposidly grief stricken that he was never mentioned again I found him and his naval record - it told me his name date of birth, eye colour, height and distingishing marks such as scars and his tattoo, I cried and said I found you at last, Only thing was his wife told a lie he hadn't died, he left or she threw him out, I feel as though I have brought him home now to the family of grandchildren and great grandchildren that missed him and wanted him. Joanne

these storys are very touching, i'm sitting here going: aaahhhhhh.

Thanks for understanding Sharon xx

what touching stories, when i first started this quest i was told to stop opening cans of worms, but i see it as opening a small side window and peeping out into a life we only know about through pictures and films, most of the time the stories are sad but like ourselves there must of been happy times in our ancestors lives....MOE!

Cor,I bet there will be a few tears that day! Take her a box of choccies at the same time, eh?

Chris Hi from a relative newbie. Was very touched by your story about the little girls. At the moment I am desperately trying to find info about my Nan's Mother. My Nan was born in, and then left in the workhouse by her Mum. She was then brought up by her Dad's family. My Nan was never allowed to talk about her Mother, and never knew anything about her at all. I think I may have traced her death, when my Nan was only 3yrs old, in 1923. I'm waiting for the cert to arrive so that My Nan, at the age of 86, will finally know what she should have known a long time ago. I hope that I too, will be able to bring a relative 'home'

Aw bless what touching stories, a rich tapestry of life! truly x

Hi there I too found a sad story but this time theres no death cert just two memorials at opposite sides of the world. What would have been my 4th cousin emigrated to Colarado in 1903 as did many Cornish Miners, he returned home somtime in the early 19teens (from research we've placed it as approx 1912-13). He came home to Cornwall to see his ailing parents & return to Colarado with his older brother. Both hoping for that new life. They were aboard the 'unsinkable' Titanic & their bodies were never found. Their family erected a memorial for both brothers in the local graveyard while in Idaho Springs Colorado a memorial was placed in rememberence of the older brother by the Woodmen of the WOrld (a masonic like org). Now I ahve found them I feel like they needn't be forgotton again as they ahve been for many years. Am I soft or what? Clare

Im wondering if he went into a home - he was 82 when he died 1948. But she obviously hadnt shown him a lot of affection, had she. I suppose difficult for us to judge, shed lost the man she loved probably felt bitter about that (my mother was only about 9 when her dad died and her siblings even younger) and perhaps she resented having to marry him. We will never know. But as you say, he deserves some respect and someone remembering him, even just for the kindness he showed my mum.

Heather Ohh thats sad. I hope you can 'bring him home' like I did with the girls, if you know what I mean? Chris

Im just going to send off for my nan's second husbands cert. My aunt (80) tells me it was a marriage of convenience and I dont doubt it. Nan was about 40 and this chap about 60 but she had three young kids and he was comparatively 'comfortable'. He was a good step father to my mum, he paid for a big wedding for her in 1940 when very few people could afford such luxury. Its strange, that auntie doesnt know what happened to him??? My dad said he just wasnt there when he came back after the war and no one seemed to know where he was (nan was very secretive and not the sort of person you questioned). Well, I started tracing this man. I found him as a 3 year old, orphaned and staying with fosterers. I found him as just 13 and living as a lodger in a house where everyone was old. I found him marrying and losing his wife and child a year later then much much later he married my nan. I have found his death in south London and Im sending for the cert, because I think he had a sad life and I do feel I should do that small thing so that at least he is in someones memory. I can only think nan must have kicked him out at some point and he died alone somewhere.

Its a Great feeling isn't it! Well done!

Thanks everyone Its good to know i'm not alone in being 'soft'. Judith I can't find marriages for either of them at the moment and I am dreading looking at the deaths indices....Having just 'found' them I really don't want to loose them again just yet. Roll on the 1911 census, fingers crossed the mice haven't nibbled the bits that relate to them. Chris

I'm sure they'd be really pleased to know that someone all these years later still cares about them ....... Emma

Oh Chris, Of course they are important to you - they were your gt gt grandfather/mother?s little sisters. Now I want to know whether they stayed in the workhouse or went to family members to live. Did they survive into adulthood? did they have happy lives? Did they keep in touch with their older brother/sister? See I'm as soft as you are :-) Judith

I understand. :-)