Genealogy Chat

Hi BMD stands for Birth Marriage and Death. If you want to know any other acronyms just post. LDS stands for Latter Day Saints (Mormons). Any more you want to know? Again, Peter's post wasn't aimed at newbies. It was aimed at those who have no intentions of learning or researching - they just want someone else to do ALL the work for them (not parts of it - the whole lot)!!! Cheers, Horatia

I get nearly as much satisfaction from helping people with their research, as i do from doing my own. tom.

Hi, I've just joined Genes, having just discovered my Dad's work (he died last year) that I'd been asking him about for some years. I found the original rant off putting to people like me just starting out on the trail. I have no idea what a BMD is, or some of the other jargon used - no doubt if I stick to it I'll work it out. Spare a thought for us new searchers.

Some relations are warm and some are cold - I distincly prefer the warm variety! Cheers, Horatia

I agree with Peter, I have had info grabbers and there is still one that hounds me and now and then, ive given some information but not all, the other point is cos I have a family tree maker like most people here do, and Ive found some of my family tree on Genes is now wrong! the info grabber has now the wrong information as they have access to my tree on here. so Im now getting the last laugh. I dont ask many people on here to look for the things its usually when I come to a dead end. but most of the people I have been in contact with are related and we have helped each other by looking for the information and solving the problems by emailing each other privately. I have to agree by looking yourself, round graveyards, record offices etc has been dispointing and very rewarding and at times like winning the lottery. I am usually very careful who I give info too and ask lots of questions beforehand. Best wishes Yvonne

I know how you feel, but how good is it when you communicate with a genuine 'cousin' and share stories and certs etc? it's worth it. I've managed to uncover such a romantic story about my g gran with the help of my 2nd cousin, who i'd never met or heard of until genes got us together. in the long run it's worth the awkward ones, theyr're not in it to discover their 'story' so don't let 'em bug you! Carol

Hi Frank, When threads of these kind are started everyone starts to feel guilty; but I'm sure Peter didn't have someone like you in mind. I think Peter was referring to people who do no original research of their own whatsoever! If someone offers lookups for BMDs in a part of Australia that I can't get to easily then of course I am going to put my name down for help! But I don't feel guilty because I know I do most of my research myself and only ask for help when records are too far away. Although, having said that, Australia has quite a lot of BMDs online! ;-) I think Peter was referring to people who do next to bu**er all themselves but just vampire off everyone else and give nothing back. I don't think there can be too many people like that reading this thread! You wouldn't read a thread like this if you were one of those people - it would require too much effort! Cheers, Horatia

Hi Peter, Have to agree with your sentiments. Some people are passionate about their hobbies while others are just half hearted! I never do ANYTHING by half measures - it is all or nothing with me! However not everyone is like that. Sometimes I can just shrug it off and say: 'Their loss' but on other days I want to have a rant - just like you. I had a contact the other day who asked to see my tree. When I looked at her tree she had obviously done no research at all - all her dates were mere guesswork. There's no excuse for guesswork with FREE BMD and the Ancestry BMD Beta (it doesn't even cost anything!) Its nicer if you can find someone (second or third cousin perhaps) on this site who is just as keen to discover mutual roots and even share the cost of certificates. I have a rellie like that and he is worth a hundred of these lukewarm contacts. Hope you meet someone on here who is as passionate about family history as you are. PS Wait until you come across someone who realises you are a good detective and suggests subjects you should buy certificates for - all at your own expense of course (not theirs)! Then you'll really want to have a rant! ;-) Cheers, Horatia

What about the opposite of the info-grabber?? The people who want you to study EVERYONE on their tree and keep sending you things about their relations, but who are nothing to do with you????? Merry

I agree those people are annoying. But why are any of us here? ... To link up with others and if they happen to know something we don't I'm sure we'd be glad to get that information (although I would recriprocate with what I know also). You wouldn't say don't tell me what happened to Great Uncle Horace I'll wait for the 1921 census and find out for myself! Jacquie

I'm relieved I'm not in the minority. I joined sites like this to help me find my rellies, whether it by asking for help or looking up names on the off chance one of my lot might be there.As its turned out often I've been lucky and the contacts/rellies I've made have become family friends because that's just what thay are........family......searching for the same people as me.

OMG! Thats just wrong :( As said before, if you dont want to share the info... dont. Leading someone in the wrong direction is not a good thing to do :(

Hi Pete I agree with Old Crone. Even though I have been lucky to find several people looking along the same lines as me who have kindly given me more information on the family sought, I feel that I cannot simply just add it to my tree until I have satisfied myself that it is correct. As others have said, it the joy, pleasure whatever you would like to call it that you on your own merits have built up your tree. So what if someone steals it. Most people here have been helpful and more than willing to share their tree. How about adding a phatom line of descendents to your tree and see how far they make it. Cheers Paul

I agree to some points....... but geeeze - such a long letter for such a small problem. Personally, I like the long info requests ' my dad was, married to, had three children named ' etc etc but I can also understand the short ones :) With more and more people working very long hours, sometimes on a computer, the passion for finding the person is still there but 'contempt for the keyboard' is usually growing and the thought of sending a mini essay to someone who may not even reply may seem a little tiresome. Enjoy what you do as you are obviously very passionate about it, but relax :) Its a good thing, this site, and even though you may feel used - you are really helping someone out :)

The only thing I can say of comfort is that imparting information is a little easier wen its held on computer. I was once plagued by a man demanding details on a surname. And I mean demanding. It wasn't my family, but I did old a bit of info, so it took some time to put togeter. I got tree letters from im, then silence after my reply. As I'm a lazy typist (wit an H that sticks!) most of my info is offline. I rarely get any questions as to why I have cosen a particular person as my ancestor. Or anybody asking if I know more. The journey is far more important than the destination. It's like only wanting te football results and not botering to watc te match.

Peter, Sit down, make a cup of tea and chill. Remember not everyone is clever when it comes to this hobby...(and a painfull one it can be too) Deep breaths, think of nice things and relax. Now you have it off your chest I am sure you feel better. Kathlyn..... A once info grabber.

I agree with an awful lot of what you say Peter,and it reminds me of a recent problem at a local school. The children 10/11 year olds had to research and write a piece about a local now disused WW2 airfield. Most of them googled the name and printed a couple of pages from the internet,or copied a paragraph or two from a book they found in the school library. With only two exceptions did any of them actually realise what they were presenting as a project. Most didn't even realise that there were planes at the place in WW2,just providing the info they had googled was not education,just an exercise in 'type,copy,hand over for marking'. Gawd help us in ten years time,if it isn't down in black and white all typed out for pronting,tnen nobody will bother looking. The internet is great for many things,including bringing out the lazy attitude in many people.If they devoted themselves to some proper research then it would be more fulfilling,but sadly when they realise it isn't all in black and white they take the easy option,and finish up with a list of names and dates that mean absolutely nothing to them whatsoever. Glen

Sorry but I'm not sure I agree with you. I've found rellies on this site who have been happy to share their info with me and often they've had far more than I could have hoped for. But it usually works out that I have info they didn't have so its a case of sharing between us. For me it makes the whole think quite exciting and I've learnt a lot where I otherwise might have been stuck with a brick wall forever. Granted sometimes, the info doesn't match but in that case nothing is lost. But I for one am happy to share what I have found. They're not just my rellies exclusive to me............other members of the family have the right to know about them too. I'm happy to contact people if I think they're might be a connection and more than pleased if they contact me. Sorry if I seem in the minority.

Peter. You do have choices - you can choose not to part with your info, nothing to say you have to share, but Human nature says to me that if i have a snippet that will fill a hole for someone, wether or not they , as you put it, ''waddle off into the sunset'' , is what it is all about.

It is strange the different reactions you get from contacts. I have 'met' some lovely relations via this site and I'm now in touch with some very distant cousins who have been helpful and generous. People have shared areas of our joint trees which I couldn't have researched myself and I have let people have information which I have spent years researching. An ancestral cousin of mine was transported to Tasmania and I've been sent his details of his arrival over there. I couldn't have got that for myself......I wouldn't even have thought of looking. It's swings and roundabouts really. But I must admit that sometimes I find the reactions of some others very difficult to understand. One branch of my family goes way back into early medieval times and is well documented. It links into all sorts of exciting historical people. I was extremely excited when I was helped to find that link. I've tried to share it with others who must also be related but one never got back to me and another just wrote, 'That's interesting' and didn't seem to want to know more. I find that lack of enthusiasm rather odd! Then there are the few who are very distantly related but seem to have added branches of my tree to theirs which are only rather tenuously linked. I try to keep most of my sideways linking on separate trees rather than on GR but I suppose some people just want to collect as many ancestors as possible. I think you can only just shrug your shoulders and enjoy the times when you do get to meet new relations and get to share information with people who really do appreciate it. Most people with this hobby are genuinely keen to find out as much about their ancestors as they can. It's the background to their lives and how they lived that interests me the most. Best wishes Sue