Genealogy Chat

To be honest I accept the point about the set response as being abrupt,and just putting sorry at the start may be all it needs,but I ve had 3 such ones this week and my thoughts were OK,fair enough,and then deleted,move on. What does cheese me off is when ive queried someones entry and suggested a link ,a very strong one,ie 2 people of the same era,area,married to each other aswell in both trees,and they say,O,I'll look into that,and thay dont get back to you.... I'd prefer to know were I stood,so that i can move on and tidy up the next bit in my tree. I always respond to an enquiry with an explanation as to why it isnt a match,and keep it to about 2 or 3 lines.

I've only ever had 1of those 'This is not my relative' replies and I STILL feel snubbed by it! I wish Genes would put the birth date alongside the name in the title for Hot Matches messages, as I usually have to go back and ask (family forenames being repeated generastion after generation). Have said so to GR. I also like to ask for a bit more info. before opening tree to standard request especially when the name being queried just happens to be remotely connected by marriage - but I hope I do so in a friendly and helpful way. Wendy

I just got a reply from GR - thanking me for my input and saying they are passing the comments on to their web manager or something.

Hi Margaret, Getting no reply at all can happen when someone has put their tree on the site but they haven't paid to be a full member. They get your email but they can't reply to it.

Valerie,Getting no reply at all annoys me,especially if you are hopeful of a clue to your rellies.I wish people could put a bit more than name,age,and birthplace,because I get replies that say 'no connection,mine all emigrated to Australia in 1780'because I would not have bothered enquiring.At least they answer.No,it doesnt cost much to be polite. Margaret

They are not necessarily being rude, just ticked one of standatd the proforma replies supplied by GR.

kate I hate that I always email them back to ask which rellie they are asking about. When I email I always say which rellie and date of birth and depending on who it is , their husbands or wifes or fathers name , makes it so much easier .

its what i get 50% of the time, although i am always polite on a request for info.

I really am sometimes sorely tempted to use the auto replies, though I haven't succumbed yet. For instance, this morning I got a 'first contact' which said, 'Kate, are we conected? Peter' That was the full text of it! He had actually given me access to his tree (though he didn't say so in his message), but that meant I had to go onto his tree (first find out which one it was!) and find the name from the top of his message in there and look at the details to find out whether or not there was a connection (the name in question had a middle name on my tree and not on his, they were born in different parts of the country, and his married somebody different from whom mine married - if he had just taken the trouble to give me the basic details in his message, he would have saved me some time!) Or there was the one from somebody doing a one-name study who sent me a message asking me to contact them 'ASAP' by email as they were using a relative's GR account - they didn't even think there was a connection with anybody on my tree, they just wanted any information I had about that surname to add to their study! I was so sorely tempted not to reply to that one at all... Kate.

Well I wrote to GR about the rude auto replies and they have replied, with this non-personal message: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ''Thank you for taking the time to write to us and for your interest in Genes Reunited. We are always pleased to receive suggestions for enhancing the site from our members. We are currently overwhelmed with some wonderful suggestions and whilst we do read through all of them, we are, unfortunately, unable to respond to each one in detail. Your comments have been noted and will be passed onto our development team to take into account for future site enhancements. Best regards, Estelle The Genes Support Team'' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So.......they are probably soooo overwhelmed with good ideas they will be putting precisely NONE of them into practice???? Am I too cynical?? Merry

Kathlyn - In reply to your question (i.e., 'any advice as to when you should allow a 'possible' rellie to access your tree?'), I'm sure you'll get differing opinions, but personally I don't include anything on my GR tree that I'd consider private or confidential. Therefore, I generally give viewing permission to anyone who asks for it, and 80% of the time I give it when I'm contacting someone for the first time (on the theory that if I show them mine, they'll show me theirs). I only have six living people in my GR tree (out of 200 - my personal database has about 500 names, of whom approximately 100 are living), but other than my own, none of their names are listed. As far as other people copying my research, I've certainly benefited from the generosity of others in putting my tree together, so I'm happy enough to pass along what I have. My research notes aren't included, so if someone wants to know my sources, they'll either have to ask me or verify the information on their own. I think one should always assume that whatever you post to a site like this is public information (no matter what their privacy policy is), and don't include anything that you don't want other people to see. Just my personal opinion - Tim

Hi Merry, Many thanks for your advice. I will keep it in mind next time. Kathlyn

Kathlyn, I don't let anyone have access to my tree on here, mainly because it's so awkward to navigate, plus it has corruptions from uploading my gedcom....I know some dob's have been deleted in the process!! So..... 1) I decide if they are related (That ''I'' needs to be stressed!) . Not them!! (or I should say, I decide if they are connected to my tree, I mean....lots of people who contact me are not related to me, but to the spouse of someone on my tree, so we share the same twig, but that is all) 2) So I ask them Q's about their relation. Who did they marry? Who were their parents/children? Or whatever. 3) If there's a link, then I offer them a report from my home tree with the relevent branch/twig/leaf on it. If I want to maintain contact, I tempt them with something else.....a will.....a photo......or whatever. By the time I've done this at least 80% of contacts have fallen by the wayside. This means you only end up making proper contact with genuine people who are really interested in their tree (or so I have found!) Merry

Yep, had a few myself. Any advice as to when you should allow a 'possible' rellie to access your tree??? Kathlyn

Strange, I've never noticed that. I wouldn't use it, because it does sound rude, but I wondered how people were doing it.

Mary you only get to see them when someone has contacted you through the hot match system. This then allows you to either tick a box for the automated response or reply in a proper manner (ie: with a personalised message). Snowdrops

Where are the automated replies? I can't find them anywhere.

LOL Heather! I wonder how long it will take for your email and mine to be sitting in someone's rubbish bin? Merry

Yes it one of the automatic replies, but I would never dream of using it, as you say being polite costs nothing, we are all in the boat!!

Ive just mailed them again moaning. Perhaps if all of you do it ..... Well, Ive just had tescos delivery (1000 points = £40 in deals - yes) and as Ive been working my turnips off trimming the hedges, Im gonna have a cup of coffee and dip their value milk chocolate in it and then suck the choc). Drooling, Merry? Catch you later.