Genealogy Chat

Next to hubby's relations at the cemetery there is a baby's grave dedicated to ''Diana - 1939''. Every time I was up there I would look at it, with the weeds growing round, and wonder who this child belonged to...............anyway.....this time, someone cares! There are flowers planted and the stone has been cleaned as well. This grave has gone untended for at least 10 years, probably a lot more....so I wonder........is it ''one of us??''.....a family history searcher who has found out about a long forgotten relative? It made me feel soooo good to see that, after all, someone does care about the little mite.....Happy Hunting - Merry x

Hi Merry. Well there will be 3 in the Berwick area that will soon be visited for the (probable) first time in years. A mother and two of her sons,one seven months old and one just 16 hours,the remaining family moved from the area seven years after the mother died,way back in 1857. That will be me saying a few words to Ann,Frederick and wee Thomas. Glen

my ma in law had twins in1919 one died after 11 days the other after 18 days they are buried in a cemetary in Suffolk, there is no record of where they are in the graveyard and I spent a few days there looking for them but to no avail, I would have loved to have found my wifes brothers. Rodney

well i have found three graves of old rellie and i have visited them and put flowers on. it seems the right thing to do. in the past i have looked at old gravestones and not thought about the person or family but now i know each one tells a tale love linda x

Merry, Why not leave a not next time you are there. You never know it may be someone you have 'spoken' to on here! Jacky :-)

When I visit the cemetary to tend to my Sons grave, I am saddened by all the unkempt graves and am tempted to do something but dare we.

I was wondering the same as Jennifer, on my drive to work I pass a cemetery. There is one grave that stands out in particular, because it is totally neglected :( The small headstone is covered in bracken and I would love to pull it all off. I have bought some gardening gloves in readiness to tackle it...but dare I? Would you?

I was always fascinated by the grave of a child who died in about 1912 that was meticulously cared for back in the 70s. Clearly the parents would have died - but the siblings must have cared. As for do we dare tend graves of those who don't belong to our families? I think so. Families die out - or like me, the last of the line, marry an Australian and end up at the other side of the world. I am sure no one could object [and indeed would in all probability be very grateful] that someone cared! Victoria

Maybe there should be an ''adopt a grave'' society?? Hubby's great granny is buried next to someone named ''Jack Ripper''! LOL No one bothers with his grave either.....Maybe I should adopt that one?! Merry

My gran's head stone as it was a wooden one in 1920 has rotted away and I have just found out her grave is under the path so I have asked if we can get an idea where she is in the grave yard can we put another head stone up I really hope they do let me as it is sad we don't have any where to go to put flowers on it

Merry, you know you may well be right. How many of us on here have found peeps and gone to visit them. Probably first time in decades, if not centuries. My GGPx4 graves now has a little rose bush and some lavenders on it, probably first time in about 150 years anyone has stood there and cuddled their gravestone and wished them goodnight.(They were buried 1825 and 1826) I even went and had a cuddle with GGMx4 gravestone on Mothers Day. GR peeps could change so many graves in this country - amazing isnt it.

I have a photo of the graves of my 2xg-grandparents which was taken in 1905. I was shocked when we visited the churchyard last summer and the part they are in was completely overgrown with brambles and the stones are all lopsided - in the photo it's like a bowling green lawn! Spoke to the verger later.....he at least looked a bit sheepish! All the rest of the graveyard is still in nice nick. I wondered if they had done their home work and discovered the fact that my 2xg-granddad was very anti the C of E????? Merry

I recently found my gt grandfathers grave... only 20 minutes drive away!! Dont expect anyone had been there in years, hubby and I found a lot of the lead letters that had come out of the stone and put them back.... I will be visiting him again to make sure that the gravestone is kept in good condition.

Hi, i think its a good idea about adopting a grave some members on here may not be able to get to their rellies grave as they live to far away, hubbys 3x grt grandad is buried in the cemetary at llanbeblig carnarvon, we would only be able to visit once maybe twice a year. I took a pic of my nans grave and showed my mum to make sure it was the right one, and she couldnt believe how bad it looked, she hasnt been for 15-20 yrs dont know why so didnt press her but i dont mind tending it

So....does any GR member have a rellie in Boscome East Cemetery, Bournemouth or Christchurch Priory graveyard?? If they do, then I would be willing to go and see it and take a photo and give it a hug for them! Then maybe the odd bunch of daffs etc...... Merry

Ill do the same if you have Wymondham Norfolk rellies.

One of the graves I visited in Ashwell a couple of weeks ago was overgrown with ivy, another had quite a bit round the headstine but I managed to pull that off. It's about 50 miles from home but I must go back with some secateurs and weedkiller ASAP.

Before you all set about tidying up churchyards, please check that you are allowed to do so and please think twice about pulling ivy from a stone. In my innocence, I performed that service for one of my ancestors.... and a large piece of inscription fell from the stone. Now I can't read the stone and nor can anyone else. As for mourning our relatives, we do this in very different ways. My father's ashes are buried in a cemetery he never visited, whose existence he was probably unaware of. Putting flowers on that grave pays lip-service to his memory, but is not the method I would choose. When I go, I don't want a stone, but a large asparagus bed planted in my memory. Lots of hard work for the mourners, but a good supper afterwards!

In one of the cemertries near home I see alot of unattended grave stone - some modern and condemed - and it pains me to think no-one cares! on top of that there are alot of graves there belonging to my family - heaven know how I'll sort them all out! I take flowers when I visit for friends and family but I'll have to take some secators and get rid of the weed from the family graves at the very least and may be soe seeds to grow too. (I promise to be careful and only prune back the overgrowth from the edges - if it's attached to the stone, it will stay in place!)

People are so lucky finding graves of rellies - most of mine were coal miners so no graves there. I do know where some of them a burried in Abney Park Cemetery in London (these weren't coalminers) but I don't know if there is a grave stone. The Cemetery has now been turned into a park and a lot of it is overgrown. I am tempted to write to the trust and pay £8.00. For this they search for the buriel and then send you a plan of the cemetery with the grave plots and numbers on. The only problem is that it is £8.00 per buriel, and I have about 10 rellies in there!