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Learning the hard way !!!

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Jean....

Jean.... Report 12 Jul 2006 16:21

Got my gran and grandads marriage cert this morning and I've been working for two years on the WRONG branch of my family. I really can't believe it. This has completely thrown me. Travelling to graveyards Paying for certificates The photographs Talking to people in Canada and America The paper The waste...the time spent. All because my uncle told me where his mother was born and I believed him. I'll now have to get OC out of her corner to tell me how to delete them all and start putting new ones in their place. I really don't believe it.....but I should have bought their marriage certificate FIRST. Jean

An Olde Crone

An Olde Crone Report 12 Jul 2006 16:29

Oh Jean!!! Take heart - I think we have ALL done this at some stage. The few times I have failed to get essential certs because i KNEW something was a fact, have always turned out to be something that wasnt a fact! (As for deleting them from your tree, well, you are on your own there - mine is now such an irretrievable mess that I am starting to hope someone DOES steal it!) OC

Merry

Merry Report 12 Jul 2006 16:29

Oh Jean.....how dreadful for you......did you have the right people on the groom's side????? Might the line you have followed still be to do with your family, or is the name Smith or similar????? As they say on General, Big Hugs.... (((((((((((((((((((x))))))))))))))))))) Merry

KathleenBell

KathleenBell Report 12 Jul 2006 16:30

It's a very hard lesson to learn. A lot of people think they can research their family tree without spending too much money, but the reality is that to be certain of the facts you have to buy certificates (or at least see the original entries in record books). Hope you get on the right track and make up lost time very soon. Kath. x

Elaine

Elaine Report 12 Jul 2006 16:34

I do sympathise with you on this one - but I am sure we have all been there at times (OK maybe not 2 years of work but certainly the odd individual!!) However, its a good thread for the newbies to read - and just goes to show the importance of certificates. Hope you catch up soon - we are all here if you need some help getting on the right track. Good luck Elaine

Lady Cutie

Lady Cutie Report 12 Jul 2006 16:40

oh jean , i did that as well it was just one little mistake i went from northaw in herts to bishops stortford dont ask how i did that but i did .lesson learned hazel.

Dea

Dea Report 12 Jul 2006 16:41

OOhhh Jean, DO sleep on it - are you SURE that everything is wrong.?? Perhaps it is still the same family but a different thread. It must be SSSooo upsetting but take a little break then look again. - Then put the details on here and we will try to help connect things up for you. Whatever you do - DON'T give up. Lots of hugs, Dea Xxx

Jean....

Jean.... Report 12 Jul 2006 16:59

Thanks to you all.....just been to cool down. I have a horrible feeling it's the whole lot...the grooms side is fine thank goodness. When you are close to your family and they are still alive, you tend to take their word for it.....and it all makes sense, but it's still bl.....dy wrong. It is my Milburns, my gran was Evelyn. Lived in Tudhoe, co durham. Only one Evelyn in Tudhoe in 1901 ... and born the right right year....so I just carried on when my uncle said his grandad was called William.........he's called bl.....dy LAIDLER....what a name! Evelyn's name was transcribed as Eveline...just found it...in Crook, co Durham Never mind..I'm starting to calm down although I've just ordered three certs for the wrong Milburn family which is not something I'm waiting for coming in the post. I'll have to email my new rellies Snowdrops and tell them, It's going to be hard but it only fair.

Jean....

Jean.... Report 13 Jul 2006 18:50

All my certs came today, 6 of them...all correct, with loads of information....but alas, as I now know.....not my family !! Anyone want a full branch of a family tree!! LOL Jean (I have to laugh or I'd cry)

~*~ Mo

~*~ Mo Report 13 Jul 2006 18:58

Jean Can I help you at all.. Mo

~*~ Mo

~*~ Mo Report 13 Jul 2006 19:04

Laidler Milburn = Jane Ellwood R69AUCK - 46 - Durham Western (1893) Its Bishop Auckland Register Office.. Dont scrap everything just yet.. you may find that you have researched just a different line of the tree.. you never know.... Mo

Jean....

Jean.... Report 13 Jul 2006 19:23

Thanks for the offer of help Mo...what better help could I need than from the Mayoress.... LOL I have vaguely looked at my new family..it seems very strange, I don't know them. This chap Laidler seems to have married three times Mary Ann May 1887 Ellen walker 1902 As well as Jane who I think was my grans mother, as she called her first and only daughter Jane, but all the marriage dates are conflicting. My gran Evelyn was born 1894 and I don't think he was married to Jane at that time........looks like more bl...ming certs !!.

Jean....

Jean.... Report 13 Jul 2006 19:25

Sorry Mo, just read your message again 1893 is right. Well that's something Thanks Jean

Val wish I'd never started

Val wish I'd never started Report 13 Jul 2006 19:28

so sorry to hear that, but maybe as some suggested they are related to your rellies in some way. I am learning it pays to question everything especially as Merry has found a birth of someone I was looking for born nearly 10 years earlier , so can now go forward.I am sure this kind and lovely lot will help you if you put their details on here good luck.

~*~ Mo

~*~ Mo Report 13 Jul 2006 19:30

Laidler Milburn = Mary A May C13/3 - 94 - Durham Western (1887) St Catherine's Church, Crook.. I am Durham RO next Wed and I can check this one out for you if you want.. It will at least confirm the father's name for you.. Mo Send me a PM if you want me to have a look for you.. I am off out.. Mo

~*~ Mo

~*~ Mo Report 13 Jul 2006 19:32

Laidler Milburn = Ellen Walker RO87AUK - 146 - Durham Western (1902) Its also Bishop Auckland Register Office Mo

Jean....

Jean.... Report 13 Jul 2006 19:56

Thanks for the support Val and Mo, I don't feels so bad now. No doubt I will when I start to dismantle the family I know. These new people feel like strangers. Jean

Denise

Denise Report 13 Jul 2006 20:03

Hello Jean, I do hope that you soon get to know your 'new family' as parting with the old one must feel very strange. Hopefully the new ones will be even more interesting and who knows you might unearth a few skeletons. I do feel sorry for you and hope you feel better soon. Denise.

Jean....

Jean.... Report 13 Jul 2006 20:07

Thanks for the kind words Denise, I hope so........it feels like I've had a bereavment with all these nice people sending messages, . LOL. Jean

Jean....

Jean.... Report 15 Jul 2006 15:01

Just dismantled half my tree OC......it is quite hard deleting people as you said. You have to take all the latest children off first. My tree's half the size now.......never mind...less Hot Matches. Jean