Genealogy Chat

Could you also develop a time machine that is free to use so that we could pop to see any member of our tree just to ask any questions like whereabouts in Prussia were you born and why did you come to England?

If you could make the Hot Matches, Hot MATCHES instead of NOT matches, you will have my vote.

I think its all to obvious that previous government initiatives have made it compulsory that most married couples must be called either William and Mary or John and Susan. I think this new candidate, if he wants to gain votes, should insist that every person choose a suitably outlandish - but easily spelt - middle name which must be used on all official documents. nell

Great to have Heather back...Fannies and all!! Will definitely vote for Paul, but am worried he might use university student's dissitation to back up his claims of WMD.

Plus the ability to impersonate a said fair maiden from Grottingham.

I stopped impersonating the Fair Maid after I mislaid the key to the chastity-belt and had to call out the fire brigade.

Er, scuse me, lets get the facts right... I invented Not Matches! You just think you did, cos it went into your subconscious when you first read it. OC

Paul, I will vote for you if you will offer to fund a detective agency to trace all those people in my tree who disappear into thin air and suddenly don't appear on the census any more and no death cert can be found. Have they emigrated? Been abducted by aliens or become war casualties? I need help with these burning issues - never mind that your meat and two veg was recently put in front of you! ;-) Meat and two veg and Heather with her Fannies. I have lots of Fannies thank you very much and many of them are Norfolk Fannies or Suffolk Fannies. However, I digress. Are you looking for a spin doctor? I also want the column statue dedicated to my father in Great Yarmouth moved from that disgusting industrial estate and transferred to his birthplace of Burnham Thorpe. Will you have time to satisfy my needs and desires before tomorrow tea time? If not, I'll be blunt - VOTE FOR LUNT!!! ;-) (snigger). Cheers, Horatia

I get NOT matches sometimes when my finger slips on the keyboard from the H to the N !

What is your policy on the treatment of that species of 'lesser spotted p***taker' that lurks in the undergrowth of tips and records.I am in favour of a lookup request tally board with a sweepstakes...winning prizemoney donated to said indivudual for an ancestry sub......... :-))

Can Illegitmate children all have their father's name for a middle name and can our ancestors just stick to one way of spelling their names in the whole time they are alive and not be christened Alice Amelia and called Auntie Jean? Kim

Christine That was MY little voice whispering in your ear!! Will the successful candidate be prepared to fund my extended holid...erm, research trip, to the Bahamas, to look up my Turks and Caicos lot? I will, naturally, be prepared to do lookups while I am there for any other GR member who should be so lucky as to have CLOSE relatives living there (snigger snigger). PS As I am rather old and quavery, I shall of course require 5* accommodation. OC

Trust you have first checked with Merry for leave of absence!

It would appear that the manifesto issued is more relevant to the Records Office,rather than the Tips Board mascot. After all the 100% correct,24/7 access and helpful friendly local staff to ensure easy lookups will ensure the swift demise of the tips board as a whole,no tips will be required to be asked or answered. What will happen to this happy little society?We will all be redundant and have to resort to cleansing our domestic properties (i couldn't think of an alternative non abusive phrase) Glen

The honourable member for Tinseltown has failed to place his own manifesto before the electorate, so I leave it to the people to judge the value of his comments. I will now return to Party Headquarters (the Frog & Ferret) to await the poll results.

Actually Paul, the Hon Member for Tinsel Town slapped his erm, Manifesto on the kitchen table earlier (just after he came out of the shower actually) and very impressive it is. I have come to my senses or census and I am throwing myself whole heartedly behind Two Turnips in this race. I am very disappointed with Ted's performance - what happened to him - or was he knobbled????

It would also appear that the honourable gentleman has the cleansing and domestic duties taken care off,with child labour providing evening meals and slave labour providing daytime meal and cleansing services,one wonders if he is chauffer driven to his lunch appointments? Perhaps an undercover investigation into his secretary will prove worthwhile?The Sunday tabloids will no doubt be gathering in force shortly. Glen

As the 'Mr Clean' of this election I will of course rise above such a dirty tricks campaign. My campaign is issue driven and will remain so.

But WHOSE issue Mr B? Perhaps some background delving may yet soil your white suit.

I am informed by my party activists that a late-night investigation of Ms Positive Thinker's dustbin revealed quantities of tinsel and a broken horsewhip. I would therefore question her impartiality.