Genealogy Chat

I had a person 2 days ago e-mail twice about a person in my tree back in the 1800's.The first e-mail asking what connection and the second one asking by automatic reply to view my tree.I gave this person the connection and the rest of the children.I have had 2 more automatic replys asking to view my tree.This person has not opened there tree.I refuse to open mine as i think if someone cant be bothered to e-mail you properly and ask the questions themselves then why should i bother showing them my family.Why are some people really rude and expect something from you? Annie

i agree and these people are often very loosly related but seem to copy your whole tree i have had one individual ask several times to view tee and i never opened so she asked my aunt who willingly gave her the access now all our details are on this persons tree, you have to be careful

There is still a bug in the GR system sending occasional messages. I've been given access to the same man's tree several times without me asking for it and I'm pretty sure he won't have meant to send it to me. He is related to the grandfather of my 3rd half cousin! Not a blood relation of mine at all and we sorted out which bits of tree and which relatives we shared a couple of years ago. I have been deleting him from my contacts list for weeks. So don't assume that all messages are coming from rude people....though there are some occasionally. Sue

Yes but If you believe many of the comments on these boards many of the request to open trees have NOT been made by the people concerned. A week or so ago there was a spate of people complaining that unknown people were opening trees in response to request that had not been sent and so on. C

Don't assume they are being rude. I apparently contacted someone asking to view their tree. I hadn't, it was one of GR's glitches.

The random automated requests to open trees are happening again. I had one today. And before anyone says it is someone who doesn't know the system..... :) It was from a contact and we had established there wasn't a connection many moons ago .....They know the site well and, like me, wouldn't dream of sending the automated request to view. Chris

Annie if anyone sends me an automatic reply to view my tree, i just ignore them

Hi Annie Well I would never ask someone to open their tree but it has happened to me before the latest glitches just because I answered a thread with some reg info they wanted, they then bombarded me with genes Pm's asking to look at my tree and wouldn't take no for an answer, even tho we had NO connection. I eventually just stopped replying to them trying to get them to accept we had no connection. We have the connection thro our Chaneys but I would never filch any info .I have other connections too and have always swopped info and asked if it was ok to add to my tree anything that i didnt have previously. Its only good manners after all

Anyone reading this Annie and I are connected through my maternal sides grtx4 grandparents who were brother & sister from the early 1800,s. Just for info!! Shirley

If I get the automated message asking to view my tree I usually respond by asking why and what they think the connection is. If they reply back and there looks to be a connection I explain politely that I don't as a rule open my tree to anyone but, I will send them a line drawn tree with all the people on it relevant to them. I don't then mind them adding this information to their tree. What I don't like is when people add all the twigs and branches off my tree that have absolutely nothing to do with them. Ann glos

Karen You say you cannot possibly research every name in your tree, because of constraints of time and expense, and you are therefore happy to use other people's research when it is offered to you. But how do you know that they too, don't have either the time or the money to research properly? You say that you are fairly new to family history. I think you will find out, sooner or later, that you HAVE to do your own research, and to do it properly, otherwise your tree will finish up as a load of rubbish. By all means, if a contact has certs etc and you have proved the link for yourself, with other certs, then you can accept that research as being sound. I have lost count of the number of trees on here which have seemingly good research in the last 100 years, but it all goes to pot before that because they have relied on census information only, or on a contact's tree. I personally don't think it is worth taking any short cuts in this game because the results can be so catastrophically wrong. I know this, from my own bitter experience. OC

Hi annie I pride myself on being polite but of late I have had so many people asking to view my tree and most from people I have spoken to in the last couple of years with no connection to my family that I now just send an auto reply saying sorry not my relative I know this is not right but I'm fed up, I have even had people sending me messages anwering questions about who I am looking for and their DOBs I have not asked about these people so what is going on? I have also had trees added to my list that are not even rmotley connected to me these I just delete weird. Paul

Don't be despondent Karen I don't think you've done anything wrong. If I find a contact who is likely to find relations on my tree then I am happy to share. I learned quite early on to leave all living relatives off GR when a very distant relation put my father and me on his tree. He was surprised when I asked him to remove us and since then I only have deceased people named on here and keep notes to the bare minimum. In view of the way some people feel on this site, I do say when I share that I am happy for them to use any information relevant to their own tree. If someone shares with me I would thank them and double check that they are OK with me adding to my own tree. That should then stop any feeling of being taken for granted. I do think that if someone opens their tree then they shouldn't be surprised if someone uses the information shown to them, but it is better if everyone says please and thank you. It is important to double check what someone else has got. I've seen some bits of shared trees which do not match up with my own research so be careful not to believe everything you read. Good luck with your tree Sue

Have to agree with OC on this one regarding the use of caution when using other researchers information. I have no problem sharing my tree if I think there is a good connection and if those I share with wish to use my info that is fine too. That is why I open my tree and in my opinion the whole purpose of this site. If I have opened my tree for someone I don't expect them to ask additional permission to use info from it. I know my info is accurate and I don't include it unless I have researched it thoroughly, even if I have initially been given the lead from someone else. I was contacted recently by a member who most certainly does have a connection and which has resulted in my having a new line to follow through. I was happy to share trees as there was a definite link and thought we could mutually help each other. However, this contact now seems offended that I haven't added this new info to my GR tree yet. I have tried to explain that before I add any info I check it out for myself in order to assure myself of the integrity of my tree. Plus, I have reason to believe that this member is accepting as fact some definitely dodgy IGI info that basically sends the tree in the wrong direction and can be proven to do so. I have queried this but my question is being ignored. Another reason why I would want to check out any links for myself! Sorry I'm rambling aren't I. The point I'm trying to make is by all means share info but it is good practice to assure yourself of the accuracy of that info. Please don't assume that everyone takes time to do this and this can lead you completely in the wrong direction if you aren't careful. And if you aren't sure if someone minds you using information from their tree, a polite pm asking if it's ok can't hurt. Happy Hunting Kate PS: I remember sitting next to a very nice chap at Kew one day who told me he had been tracing his tree for just a couple of weeks and had made a contact who had given him his whole tree right back to 1066. I was astonished that he appeared to have accepted this whole tree as fact without checking it out any further and was merrily telling his family about all of their new 'rellies'. Very nice I thought but wheres the fun in that - isn't the search the best bit :-)

An excellent point, Kate. I have a contact who has kindly shared lots of information with me and I have tried to reciprocate. His method of approximating dates of birth is to go by the census records. eg. Tom Smith aged 8 in 1901 he would note down as 'born before 31 Mar 1893'. Thing is, I'm getting much pickier. I like to get the said Tom Smith and find his birth registration in Sep qtr 1892 or whatever the case may be. I also like to get a bit of background on spouses who married into the family. In one case I discovered that a Sarah who is down in everyone's notes under one surname as having married my distant cousin Samuel (there are a few people on here searching for the same family as mine) had been married before so I am trying to find her real maiden name. I don't assume everyone I contact has it right or wrong, I just like to double check it myself (I have often found twice-married women this way) and come to my own conclusions.

A woman after my own heart Kate (must be to do with the name LOL). Cross the t's and dot the i's and you can't go far wrong. Kate :-) btw, I have a Mary Hurst married John Padwick in my tree. Don't suppose you're a Sussex/Hampshire girl are you?

Sadly not, though I hear the 'Hurst' spelling is a southern one, whereas the 'Hirst' is northern. My lot are from Ormskirk in Lancashire and thereabouts.

Thought it would be too good to be true. Never mind, still nice talking to you Kate x

I don't have my tree on GR so obviously can't send to anyone, however, some contacts automatically send me theirs on without my ever asking and then appear to go in a huff when I write back and politely point out that although I can't send mine on, I can go into good and relevant detail about the people they're enquiring about. I tend not to hear from them again even though I feel I've passed on far more information regarding BMD's and census plus Poor Law information etc than I ever get back from just looking at a few names on a tree. Give me the 'bringer of news' contact any time over the plain sharer of trees. After all, I've already done the searching myself and could probably tell them a thing or two about their own family that they might not know and missed out on by not keeping in touch.

Hello, I agree with what has been said, what is the point of putting people in your tree if you do not have the certificate to prove it, yes it cost a lot of money,14 dollars and 7-10 days snail mail. BUT at least all the people in my tree are there by rights, I have meet some lovely people on GR but there are some rotters. I have had my tree 'raped 'twice now by people how can not be bothered to look up the most simple things--- never again will I open my tree unless the person is a relative how ever far back. I know it is difficult before 1837 but if there is the will, there is a way. Sheila