Genealogy Chat

Don't underestimate the use of social media to find a living relative. Reading the advice given to other members regarding finding relatives I had a look of FaceBook to see if a cousin was registered. I found him immediately and was struck by his strong resemblance to my brother. I am now waiting for an answer to my message :-)

You do realise that if he is not a friend of yours Sue, he may not see the notification of a message as it goes to the other folder

No Jax - I didn't realise that. Thank you for telling me. Do you think I should send a friend's request?

I have suggested that to people in the past.....since I found out about the "other" folder I check it, but sometime it could be a few weeks before I notice one...then have no idea what it is about, because it could be something I have replied to on the GR, FMP or ancestry page :-D

I have also had messages in my "other" folder and not noticed. I feel really excited about finding him. I came to Australia age 3 and have very little contact with living rellies in the UK.

Thanks again :-D

Good luck then <3

As far as I'm concerned FB has been great to connect me with my rellies all over the world. All I did was to ask them to be my friend and send them a message explaining who I am and the fact that I do family research and they are in my tree.

Honestly nobody refused. One of my co researchers in AUS - a very distant cousin looks o much like my sister.

I been sent loads of photos as well.

Give it a go - let us know what happened

Jax is right Sue darling .. people can take ages with the other box.. I have used it to contact people that might be relatives of people that have asked me for searches etc.

I don't want to be their friend though. I like to keep that number under control.

But then there are times when one of my most loveliest of friends has not noticed my message...

;-)

Persephone xx

Thanks NS.

To whom are you referring, dear Persie? ;-)

Following Jax's comments I have invited my cousin to go on my friend's list

:-)

Oh good then I will see them too tra la.. oh you with the lovely grandchildren..
:-) :-) :-) :-)

"Like" :-D

I had an aunt...my mums sister send me a friend request....I ignored it :-D

That was in the days when you would get a message notification......had she said something first I might have accepted.

I dont ever remember having a conversation with this person as I was still at school when I last saw her

Well I haven't heard from my cousin yet but I have had contact with a great nephew we didn't know we had. I have to go slow with this one as he has half siblings he doesn't know about. Sadly I had to give him some bad news :-(

By the way Jax do you really look like Ms. Pollard? ;-)

I'm very relaxed about rellies - I completely ignore all the fighting and bad mouthing of anybody. I can't feed historic bitterness - so sad sometimes what happens in peoples lives

I've no quarms about telling any of them the facts of my findings. Some people seem to feel that they have to be careful about what they disclose.
I found that rellies living in other countries are excited to find out anything even if it is terrible.

Honestly I can say with hand on heart, that in all the cases I had to deal with which fall under the supposed sensitive heading I never had any repercussions. It is the half siblings or missing parents that have had me near to tears at times but the info passed on has been more than welcomed.

NS I had to tell a young man that his father passed away ten years ago. This isn't about fighting or bad mouthing but about being sensitive with a young man's feelings.

I think it's important to weigh up whether giving someone sensitive info may alter their relationship with family. As an example I made a decision to tell one of my relatives that my grandfather was a bigamist, had either of my uncles been alive still I would have hesitated to tell them, they didn't know and it might have 'made a lie' of all they felt their parents to be.

I have only 'found' one distant relative via FB, who had once been a member here which is how I found her name, and then sent her a photo of her gt gt grandfather, my great grand mother's brother.

I also have to consider the feelings and privacy of living relatives.

SueMaid it is your choice how you deal with it.
I'm only giving you my experience but I can understand both sides of the coin.

I just feel that a child's rights to know is paramount over any issues parents may have.

My cuz in AUS who started a tree from his side (mums family) told our uncle when he was alive that he was born out of wedlock.The whole family were shocked. His son came to England and asked me to get dad's original birth cert for him. Had to laugh, a 70 year old man saying he was told as well but couldn't ask his dad about it . Nor ask grandma.

Though he now understands why his dad used two different names at different times in his life. It was cuz's wife who was more upset when she realised their family name was not their true name.

As a small family group we have been forbidden to look into the family of someone's partner. It is up to them to tell their own children, if they so wish, of any family secret or shame. It would be very wrong of us to do it for them.

In my Oh's family, once We told that we knew a certain fact about a direct ancestor wonderful information was forthcoming.