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Have you tried contacting the authority responsible for cemeteries in the Romsey area?
https://www.testvalley.gov.uk/communityandleisure/cemeteries/cemeteries


Nightingale Lodge appears to have been a care home:

https://www.romseyadvertiser.co.uk/news/18008127.care-home-set-open-2021/
" . . . . . The former Nightingale Lodge was controversially closed in 2013, after county councillors voted to shut it. . . . . . . "

And from 2013: https://tinyurl.com/y7l8cj6n

After lots of research I have my husbands father's Death certificate which states his name Thomas Charles Mellish (B. Charles Arthur Thomas Mellish 1903) Died 1986 Southampton & lived at Nightingale Lodge, Romsey. Which is no longer there but likely a small housing estate. The informant was Florence Emily Flinter,Step-Sister. I am still trying to find a grave/ Cemetery or cremation for Thomas but as yet nothing. Does anyone know how I can find out this info please?

We definitely will. Thanks for your help ErikaH. It’s appreciated. As soon as everything is confirmed the relevant info will go on my husbands tree which is on ancestry..

As both Elizabeth and Mellish were in the same place in 1939, it seems reasonable to assume that is how they met. They were both 'inmates'. As you can see from the record, he had no occupation - she was a domestic servant.

Poor Law Institution was the 'new' name for Workhouses from 1911


First name(s) THOMAS CHARLES
Last name MELLISH
Gender Male
Birth day 23
Birth month 6
Birth year 1903
Age -
Death quarter 3
Death year 1986
District Southampton
Register number 886
County Hampshire
Volume 20
Page 1017
Country England

Get a copy of the death cert for informant's details

Hi ErikaH. Yes We have read it all, so much to take in. We did know of a Thomas Mellish but we thought he was in Basingstoke where where my husband Tony was born. So it was a surprise that he was infact from Fareham & was in an institiution. of course it would be interesting to find out why he was in the Poor Law Institiution which I believe was also a mental hospital. Was he an in patient with some sort of disability or did he work there. The same goes for Elizabeth Emily White. It looks like I will need to do some research on this as in those days poor law or Poor house surely meant you had nothing so in you went to beable to survive. A really horrid situation to be in. We know my husbanads mother went to Basingstoke to have him & he then went into Dr Barnardos She did finally meet Henry Hobbs & married him in the 50's. We don't know what happened to Thomas Mellish, my husbands father after 1939 & the Poor Law Institution, Did he stay there or did he eventually marry someone as I see there's a Thomas Mellish who had 7 children in Lymington but I didn't see a wife. Lastly It seems Thomas's real name would be Charles Arthur Thomas, changed presumedly to distinguish him from his father named Charles.

Precisely. The 1939 register was updated until the 1990’s

Any thoughts on the Mellish info I posted for you?

Thank you ErikaH, info all fits except Elizabeth White din't become a Hobbs untill 1950's when she married Henry Hobbs

Elizabeth White was not nee Pratt - her mother was nee Pratt

Here she is in 1939 - in the same place as Thomas Mellish ( see my earlier post)

52 Fareham Poor Law Institute Wickham Road , Fareham U.D., Hampshire, England


Elizabeth E Hobbs (White) 16 Feb 1907 Female Domestic Servant Single Inmate 1 112

Matches a tree on Ancestry, which seems to be accurate
Charles Arthur Thomas Mellish
1903–1986
BIRTH 23 JUN 1903 • Fareham, Hampshire, England
DEATH AUG 1986 • Southampton, Hampshire, England


Birth
23 Jun 1903 • Fareham, Hampshire, England
3 Sources
1903

(AGE)

Birth of Brother William Henry Mellish(1905–1981)
31 Mar 1905 • Fareham, Hampshire, England
1905

1

Death of Mother Janet Whittle(1872–1911)
January 1911 • Fareham, Hampshire, United Kingdom
1911

7

View
Residence
02 Apr 1911 • Fareham, Hampshire, England
Age: 7; Marital Status: Single; Relation to Head of House: Son

1 Source
1911

7

Death of Father Charles Henry Mellish(1879–1959)
Jun 1959 • Droxford, Hampshire, England
1959

56

Death of Brother William Henry Mellish(1905–1981)
Jun 1981 • Weymouth, Dorset, England
1981

78

Death
Aug 1986 • Southampton, Hampshire, England

Possibly the one listed above in 1939, as there is no birth in 1903 for Thomas Mellish

1911

13 High Street Fareham, Fareham, Hampshire, England

Charles Henry Mellish Head Single Male 30 1881 Carter Hants New Forest
Ellen Friend Servant Widow Female 40 1871 Housekeeper Suffolk Enderum
Charles Arthor Thomas Mellish Son Single Male 7 1904 - Hants Fareham
William Henry Mellish Son Single Male 6 1905 - Hants Fareham

1939


52 Fareham Poor Law Institute Wickham Road , Fareham U.D., Hampshire, England


Thomas Mellish 23 Jun 1903 Male Nil Single Inmate 1 75

Marriages Sep 1912 (>99%)
Aldred Mary J Mellish Fareham 2b 1407
MELLISH Charles H Alfred Fareham 2b 1407

Births Jun 1914 (>99%)
MELLISH Marjorie M M Aldred Fareham 2b 1046
Births Mar 1915 (>99%)
MELLISH Florence M Aldred Fareham 2b 1038
Births Jun 1918 (>99%)
Mellish Maud L Aldred Fareham 2b 925
Births Dec 1920 (>99%)
Mellish Leonard F Aldred Fareham 2b 1072
Births Mar 1923 (>99%)
Mellish Gertrude W Aldred Fareham 2b 992
Births Jun 1925 (>99%)
Mellish Eileen G Aldred Fareham 2b 961

1939

Mellish Household (4 People)
15 Addison Road , Fareham U.D., Hampshire, England


Charles H Mellish 07 Feb 1879 Male Coal Hawker Married 122 2
Mary J Mellish 30 Sep 1887 Female Unpaid House Duties Married 122 1
Sorry, this record is officially closed. Check if you can open a closed record.
Gertrude W Mellish 27 Feb 1923 Female Domestic Servant Unemployed Single 122 4

Record Transcription:
1911 Census For England & Wales

Dean Road Cosham Hampshire, Cosham, Hampshire, England

Emily Seller's Household Members
Members that resided in the household at the time of the census.
First name(s) Last name Relationship Marital status Sex Age Birth year Occupation Birth place
Emily Seller Head Widow Female 43 1868 Laundress Gt Canford Nr Whimbone Dorset
George Seller Son Single Male 17 1894 Under Gardner Cosham Hants
Daisy Seller Daughter Single Female 19 1892 No Occupation Domestic Duty At Home Cosham Hants
Elsie Seller Daughter Single Female 14 1897 Nurse Girl Cosham Hants
Arthur Seller Son - Male 9 1902 At School Cosham Hants
Winifred Seller Daughter - Female 4 1907 - Fareham Hants
Leslie Mellish Nephew - Male 3 1908 - Fareham Hants
Edward Blackman Boarder Married Male 27 1884 Gardener Domestic Cosham
Daisy Blackman Boarder Wife Female 21 1890 - Scotland
William Blackman Son - Male 2 1909 - Cosham

1881

Name: Emily Mellish
Age: 14
Estimated birth year: abt 1867
Relationship to Head: Daughter
Father: Thomas Mellish
Gender: Female
Where born: Canford, Dorset, England
Civil Parish: Milton
County/Island: Hampshire
Country: England
Street address: Wootton

Registration district: Lymington
ED, institution, or vessel: 9
Neighbors: View others on page
Piece: 1191
Folio: 121
Page Number: 15
Household Members:
Name Age
Thomas Mellish 40
Emily Mellish 14
Frederick Mellish 12
Cecily Mellish 11
Fanny Mellish 9
Selina Mellish 7
William Mellish 4
Charles Mellish 2

Emily Mellish born 1868 Canford Devon married Robert seller then married Robert Earwalker.

She was the daughter of Thomas 1841born Topuddle Devon and Emily Whitelock they also had a son Charles henry Mellish 1879-1959 who married and had a son Charles Arthur Thomas Mellish 1902 born Fareham Hampshire.


The answer seems to be in the above family.


Maryb

Marriages Jun 1890 (>99%)

MELLISH Emily Fareham 2b 1040
Seller Robert Fareham 2b 1040

1939

20 Dean Road , Portsmouth C.B., Hampshire, England


Emily Earwaker 10 Jul 1867 Female Unpaid Domestic Duties Married 62 2
Robert Earwaker 28 Jun 1871 Male Retired R N Married 62 1

????

Record Transcription:
Hampshire, Portsmouth Marriages


Location: Hampshire, England


First name(s) Robert
Last name Earwaker
Age 42
Birth year 1871
Denomination Anglican
Marital status Widowed
Occupation Labourer
Residence Cosham
Marriage year 1913
Marriage date 08 Nov 1913
Marriage place Wymering
Dedication Ss Peter & Paul
Spouse's first name(s) Emily
Spouse's last name Seller
Spouse's age 46
Spouse's birth year 1867
Spouse's marital status Widowed
Spouse's residence Cosham
Father's first name(s) Charles
Father's last name Earwaker
Father's occupation Deceased
Spouse's father's first name(s) Thomas
Spouse's father's last name Millish
Spouse's father's occupation Carter
Witness 1 George Francis Seller
Witness 2 Annie Deon
County Hampshire
Country England
Register type Marriages
Register year range 1905-1922
Archive reference CHU 15/A/3/1/4
Archive Portsmouth History Centre
Record set Hampshire, Portsmouth Marriages
Category Birth, Marriage, Death & Parish Records
Subcategory Parish Marriages
Collections from England, Great Britain

Marriages Dec 1913 (>99%)

Earwaker Robert Seller Fareham 2b 1277
Seller Emily Earwaker Fareham 2b 1277