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My name isnt Tracie all i need is some help and people are treating me like a piece of dirt

Katie

I have read all of this thread, and the only person treating people *like dirt* is you!! Lots of people on here have stories much worse than yours and have every right to get emotional and yet they don't insult the kind helpers on here as you have done.

I doubt very much anyone having read this thread will help you at all now, remember everyone on here who has tried to help does so out of the goodness of their heart, they are NOT PAID to do so!

Good luck, I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

Mary

er yes im a little upset wouldnt you be.im sick of been treated like dirt so il do it all by myself i dont need help

well try reading what Fairthorn said to me then,i think you find they treated me like dirt

its hard for me you know

Hi Katie

My sister was adopted and she obtained her adoption record in the UK with difficulty as my sister now lives abroad, when you were in foster homes try to see if you can find out from your adoptive Mother if she knew who the social worker was, because you possibly would have been under one. I come from a background of growing up in children's homes and foster homes but the difference is I still knew my parents. I think its law now that adoptees are allowed access to their files. Hope this helps you.

Darkie

Amanda i dont really have much money left until i get paid from work so im saving up

and yes i will ask my adoptive mother to see who the social worker was

thanks

You were told days ago to contact social services.
the chances that the same social worker is still active, almost 20 years on , is remote.

they are the people to help you, its what they are trained for an employed to do, Dont think they wont question you though because they will.

well the social services lady who my adoptive mother said i tried ringing that early last year but it said that number was not in use anymore so i will ask my adoptive mother

Hi Katie

First off, I was adopted as a baby & have never met my birth parents, so yes I know it's hard.

Following a recent change in law our parents can, if they want, trace us. Given you attempted to make contact sometime ago & were told your Mum was ill, she knows you want to meet her. If she wanted or was fit enough to contact you she would.

Even though you've not had contact with your Dad, he too would be able to find you if he was looking. Especially as you have registered on this site.

You sound as if despite everything you are doing well for yourself, you are working, have a husband who supports you & you have the means to register & use this site.

I have gone through times when all I wanted was to find my parents, it's an over whelming state to be in, but usually for me at least it was a distraction from my real life. If I were you I'd give it up for awhile. Turn round now & hug your husband, he is there for you in the here & now. Mum & Dad are not.

If you really can't do that, do try & talk to social services. They may have a local support group where you can talk to others who have similar experiences.

When your Mum & Dad gave you up it was their loss, don't let it be your problem.

Take care & best wishes.

Nicola

i promised my husband i wouldnt give up finding them and if i gave up i know id let him down as well as myself

yes its there loss but im still there daughter at the end of the day

but its better if i find them and not them find me cos they could never search for me and i would get to emotional if they search for me

as there is a saying live today,tomorrow may never come

Hi

A better saying I think is:

Live the life you love, love the life you live.

You are right tomorrow may never come, you could have spent tonight having fun, so long as spending all your time searching is what you really enjoy doing, all's great.

Take care.

yeah i could go to bed alive and not wake up ya never know so thats why im doing my best to try and find them otherwise i never will

and everyone thank you so much for your support and help i really appreciate it

anyways going for bath im at work tomorrow well only two days left and im on holiday until next thursday haha thank god then i can do all the searching without worrying about work

Hi Katie,

Why do you think that you would be letting your husband down if you did not continue with this search ? this search is about you and what you truly want....... also you say if your parents searched for you you would get emotional, maybe now is not the right time for you to search for them if this really is the case.
Get in touch with SS in your area they can recommend a new Social Worker to you who can support you with this, and all the issues it is raising in you.

Fairthorn and others on this site, are not trying to treat you like dirt, it is just we have seen very many adoptee's go through this and know what it takes out of you, if things do go wrong.

You obviously have a lot of issues with you birth parents, and it may be best to talk through these things with someone, before you try to meet them.

Hope all goes well with you and your search :O)

they were saying i was moaning when i wasnt i just wanted someone to help me and give me advice but they upset me more then i already am

i dont want them to say there sorry cos i will not forgive them for saying i was moaning

Good News,i have found out were my real parents are living and i have there address and phone number

i rung my real mum she didnt reject me shes staying in contact with me and i have 2 more younger brothers and i had a sister but she died at the age of 1 :(

so im all happy

Thats is great news Katie, just take it one step at a time, I am sure we all wish you well with this :O)

But still get support from those around you as this can be quite an emotional roller coaster. Good Luck !

Hi Katie

I am so glad you have found her and very good luck for the future.

Good luck, hope you can build a new relationship with them now, if that is what you want.

How did you manage to track them down as explaining this may help others who are in the same situation?

I wish you well
Wendy

well all i did was i went on the "search trees" bit and typed my mums maiden name in and her year of birth and were she was born and it come up with someone who knows her (my auntie jennifer) (her sister) and my auntie jennifer emailed me back saying shes her sister and stuff so i asked her for contact details and she gave me them

Well done - hope it all goes well
Wendy