Find Living Relatives

:-) It doesn't take much to confuse me , thank you x :-D

Don’t give up. I’ve had family lines where no one seems to have tested and slowly matches came in.
Sometimes matches are odd. I have matches shared with my first cousin but not my sibling. It is all down to how much individual bits of dna have been passed on.
You can find you don’t have a match with an individual but one of your matches does - all done to confuse :-D

ugh!
The only matches are with me, dad, my sis and niece. None of my other matches unless I'm missing something.
Needle in a haystack

nameslessone- colour codes? I need to investigate this, sounds like a great tip! Thank you

As it is an An entry dna test you can tell by the results that Deborah is related to your father by his unknown father. However, you cannot tell whether it is Deborah’s paternal or maternal side that matches.
You need to compare shared matches, it helps if you use the colour codes, especially on Deborah’s matches.
Once you have grouped the matches hopefully you will see names on both sides which might help you a bit to discover the correct family.

Absolutely.
Last thing I want is to appear to be a stalker. its just that uncertainty of whether she's not read out of choice or because she's not seen. I guess that's something we may not ever know. Thank you ErikaH :-)

People often simply upload DNA results and then forget all about them.

They may get a test as a gift and feel obliged to use it, but without having any real interest in the matter

Thank you everyone for your reply.
She has no tree on ancestry, just DNA test.
It's a rather complicated backstory as Dad's biological mum adopted him, along with her new partner when she remarried. He then took Rossiter name. His birth certificate doesn't show father so he took his mum's name of Thomas.
His mum, for whatever reason, gave him two different names for a father. One we have ruled out completely and the other is sheratt but can't find any trace of a Sheratt in matches.
Using the matches tool, we do have possible Grandparents for him (and have made a connection with somebody) but out of the children it looks like it's pointing to a childless couple. So no way of validating. Who knows this Deborah could be in exactly the same position as Dad.
Absolutely respect she may not want any of this, but just to clarify , in my first message, a few yrs ago, it was a very general query as in, I see we may be related, can you tell me if you have any of these surnames in your tree?
Thanks for your words of wisdom
I will look more thoroughly later once when I can get on the laptop

Probably doesn’t even know about GR

All the references by OP are to Ancestry

Deborah is a dna match and probably hasn’t added a tree. This is quite common.

Caroline has her father in her GR tree under his adoptive surname, so anyone looking who only knows his birth name won’t make the connection.

He isn’t in any GR tree with his birth surname

You say she's "on Ancestry".
Does she have a tree there, and has she included herself on her tree?



If so, the woman below is NOT the right one, as she's not on any Ancestry tree.

However, just in case your Deborah has an Ancestry tree which does not include herself -


Someone named Deborah Hunter has a Deborah Kelly in her GR tree, born 1970 in Lancashire. [Perhaps too young ?]
That Deborah Kelly has a middle name which I won't post here.

Her birth was first registered in A/M/J 1970, then re-registered in O/N/D 1971, when some correction or change must have been made.


A Deborah Kelly with the same middle initial (though I don't know the middle name) married a Hunter in 1997, and until at least 2005 that couple were living in the town where Deborah Kelly was born.

The house has been sold since then, and they must have opted out of the public ER.

If any of that sounds like a possibility for "your" Deborah, it might perhaps be worth contacting Deborah Hunter.


BUT -as Nameslessone said, if she read your first message but didn't reply, then presumably she wasn't interested in contacting you.

Use 'search all member trees' for KNOWN names connected to this person..............if she has a tree on here, try to make contact.

BUT........be prepared for her not to respond

https://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards/board/genealogy_chat/thread/1402255

If Deborah read the first message then she has chosen not to respond and you should consider that that is her decision, however much it might upset you.

Unread messages may mean she no longer subscribes and may not know she can respond OR she doesn’t wish to.

Even if Deborah is a member of Genes she will probably not see your post. You could consider checked search all members trees on here but even if is a member you may well still have no response.

Remember that if she is a first cousin to your father then one of her grandparents would be the shared ancestor and she might not be prepared to take that on board,

Note: there is an associated thread on Genealogy chat.

I'm hoping to make contact with a Deborah Kelly.

I have no details on her at all other than she is on ancestry. A couple of years ago I sent her a message looking for possible connections but at that time only had info on my maternal tree.
Although the message was shown as read, she didn't respond, perhaps because the info I'd offered at that time wouldn't have been relevant.

I then sent another message with possible names from my paternal line that again are not relevant. This message was labelled as received but not read.

Since then and with ancestry updates, I've now discovered she is on my paternal line and is my father's closest link to his unknown father. She comes up as a possible 2nd-3rd cousin for me and being a closer match for dad.
My dad has tried to message her through ancestry with the most up-to-date info but again the message hasn't been read.

If I felt she'd read them, I wouldn't continue and would accept that maybe she's not interested or not wanting to help. I just would love for my dad to find where/who he comes from before it's too late. And a family connection would be an added bonus.

I know this is pretty much reliant on Deborah Kelly seeing this message herself, so to help rule in or out. My Dad was born in 1946 in Salford. So the links are around Greater Manchester area.

Thanks for reading
Caroline
x