Find Living Relatives

Hello all again! I know this is a long shot but worth a try! My grandmother was working in Oban around September 1977 in a hotel. Whilst there she met a man and the rest is history. From this came my mother, and we don't know her father's identity. All my grandmother could tell me was that he was called Kenny, and he was a sailor/fisherman from Aberdeen. She said she attempted to contact him, but his sister told her to leave them alone. She did so and moved on, and had nearly forty happy years with my grandfather, who married her a month after my mother's birth. As my grandmother died last month, we're running out of options. She herself didn't know much about the guy, so it's quite hard. Any help appreciated.

Her name was Barbella, and she was from Stornoway. She would have been 17-18 at the time. Thanks.

P.S. I'll add a link to her memorial site so there are pictures for reference. http://barbella.muchloved.com/

If she was told by his sister to leave him alone - what was the name of the sister, and where did she live?

Daniel,

I have a feeling that you are meant to be 16 to use this site.

Could you confirm this?

Thank-you

I have absolutely no idea, and I don't think she did either. I'd imagine she was probably living in Aberdeen as well, but a lot can change in 40 years.

And yes, I'm seventeen (1st March 2000)

It's something we hate to say, but unless your mum's father knew of her birth and one day goes looking for her, you probably have close to no chance of finding him.

Do make sure that your mother (if she agrees) and her mother are in family trees here and at other sites, so that if he or a family member who knows of your mother searched on line, they might find her.

I am a fan of DNA testing for finding genetic connections, but for you that would probably be no help. Because you are the son of a daughter, you do not have your grandfather's YDNA, which is the most accurate way of matching to a paternal ancestor and surname. You would be left with autosomal DNA testing ('family finder' or cousin finder), which can identify connections, but working out what the connections are can be complicated.

And because not a lot of people in the UK are running off to test their DNA (as people in the US especially are doing, largely because they hope to find their origins in the UK or Europe), the chances of someone closely related to your mum's father testing are slim.

There would be no harm in your mum doing an autosomal DNA test. I recommend Family Tree DNA for the support available and the history of good science. But Ancestry is becoming the mammoth in the field. Test results from Ancestry can be uploaded to FTDNA for a fee, so matches at either site could be found.

You never know, as the databases grow, someone related might test. It's even possible that someone in the US who shares ancestors with your mum's father might match and provide a pointer to where to look. Autosomal DNA is only useful for identifying 5th cousin relationships at the outside (descended from the same greatx4 grandparents).

May I also just add what a joy it is to meet a 17-yr-old who writes in complete sentences with punctuation and capitals, and doesn't present us with a mass of undifferentiated text to decipher!

Thank you! Yes, I thought it would be tough. I think DNA testing is an option; I was going to have one done myself, but we could look into it more. I'm glad everyone on these forums have been very kind to me!

Just a note on DNA testing - it is always best to have the oldest person available do the test - closer genetically to the target person, fewer people to rule out.

That is, if you did autosomal testing yourself, you would have a whole different line of cousins, on your dad's side, that you might find matches with, but they would be red herrings in the search for your mum's father. And you would lose a generation of possible shared ancestors, since 5th cousin is the outside limit for matching.