Find Living Relatives

JoonieCloonie - I guessed she had, but thought it would be easier to repeat the instructions here before she goes any further.

Serena - Rome wasn't built in a day. Get your suspicions confirmed before trying to make contact with Ann's relatives. What's another week to 10 days between friends?

also so others know, Serena is hoping to confirm her sister's father's identity (that is, her sister wants to know) and was hoping that Ann/her family would know something of this ... this is sensitive and one needs to be certain before approaching strangers

in any event, even if they have something to tell, paternity can only be determined by DNA testing together with someone with a shared father and I still strongly recommend that, by you and your sister doing the test first to see whether your dad is ruled out as her dad

without that information it makes no sense to pursue other possibilities

i dont understand y u r getting snotty about things, because im asking things, .
i have said many times how greatfull i am for all yr help, but honestly what we pm and what i tell u in pm should really stay there. i have not at anytime been rude to u whatsoever, but i feel u r now, if u cant help any more then allow someone else to if they want.u dont have to keep putting snide remarks on her with smiley faces lol.
u have helped so much and yes without u i would never have done it, yes yr fab at this and i thank u again.
but if you cant help with this thats ok,
i thought i would ask anyway, to see if others could, and yes i have found out more.
i thought it wouldnt hurt,
but i can see it has..gosh knows y.....
i only have 2 threads on this site. its not like im putting it everywhere....
and it is a board to help people......

:-)

detective, thank you for that info. i will check that out.
thank u x

Serena, 'snotty' after the *literally* hours and hours I have devoted to helping with these searches? :-S

you weren't answering Detective and me although we asked several times and I have asked before ... whether you have the marriage certificate

without the marriage certificate you simply cannot know whether you are tracing the right person

without a DNA test you don't know whether there is any reason to be looking for anyone who might be your sister's dad other than your dad

I *can* help with this, as I am doing, the same as others are - by advising that you confirm your info with the marriage certificate before possibly intruding into someone's life, and by advising that you confirm or deny the paternity question by the proper scientific method, rather than by asking strangers what they know

I have not said anything here that you did not already post in your other thread


but I get the feeling my work here is done now

(btw, you do have a third thread, on another board)

Serena, I have read most of the info here and I have to agree that you can't go further without the cert

As an example,there is another person with my name ( not that common a name) born in the same year, in the same place, can you imagine how my family would feel if someone contacted them on a facebook page saying I had been married to their father?

PLEASE listen to the people who are advising you...they have years of experience and know that unless you have the right detail from the marriage cert you could be chasing the wrong person.

No one has been snotty or snide, they are trying to help you by making sure you have facts, not assumptions.

I was almost convinced my grandfather was a bigamist remember, Serena (we have swapped tales) ... until I got the certificate and found it was his father remarrying a very much younger woman I had never heard of :-)

im really sorry, honestly its been a mad week or so, i am and u know how truly greatful i am. honestly.
of course i understand u cant go into peoples life saying things lol. im a nurse lol, i see lots......


rose thank you. i understand what yr saying.

sorry again xxxx

If the marriage certificate to Mr Gasper states Anns father was John Michael Lacy,then there is 99.9% the death in 2005 of Finnuala Ann could be the right lady,but if she returned to Ireland at a later date its very unlikely that any living relatives in Howth/Ireland will have been told,and neither would she have known what life Mr Gasper was living after she left,and any close family that would be confided in may have passed away.........these things were kept close to the chest.any gt neices etc are unlikely to know of 40+ years ago.
.
I was under the impression AFL was your or mother who you were seeking.

Anns brother if the 1929 one will be very very elderly and would disrespectful invasion to even concider taking that route.

There is another thing which may have been mentioned here or by PM. ..The F A Lacy who died in 2005 was a Roman Catholic ( or at least from a Catholic family ) as the service was at the RC Church of the Assumption, Howth . I think it is more than likely that she would not have divorced willingly, though the marriage could possibly have been annulled, but if there was a divorce or annulment over here, it may well be she would not have mentioned it to family back home.

I think it's the circumstances of the breakdown of the marriage that Serena was hoping to learn, if Ms L was still living or other family knew ... the couple lived together for a number of years at least until 1965 (and likely longer, but how long is not known) so living family may well have known them as a couple

Serena started her other thread wanting to know how to find a record of the divorce in fact :-)

Just for ref, the parents of F A Lacy are buried at the same cemetery
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~chrisu/howth/howthcem.htm

ohhh , ok, cause my dad was roman catholic too , we all are, but not religious .
ok dad got married here in the uk and the divorce would have been over here too.
so yes she might not have told her family, but she didnt marrie again what i can see.
thank u xxx

joonie, yes thats what i wanted really, the reasons as so much is hidden still and not spoken about.
oh wow thats interesting .xxx

well your sister has learned so much in two days she must be reeling

but dna, marriage certificate, dna, marriage certificate ... !

(Serena and I have made up :-) )

awww i feel so bad. thank u for all yr help.
i have actually just been on the phone to finoola's niece in dublin...yes i know sooooo excicting.
turns out it is defo the ann finoola who was married to dad. she has explained yes there r many things to learn from what went on and has given me her cousins phone number in london where she lived and lives now, and who knew everything about the whole sinario as her and finoola were very close and has said things to the niece but she said she will let her cousin tell me everything...

thank u all. i couldnt of done it without any of u. xxxxxxx


and i rang and shes not in........ :-D lol

To be honest Serena I would never have advised phoning someone like that, I'm glad it worked out for you but so many people on here have done things like that and ruined what might have been their only chance of finding something out....you were lucky!

well this can be put to rest now.

:-D :-D :-D,