Find Living Relatives

l am trying to find the above who would have been about 24 in 1968 and living in / near Bradford West Yorkshire at the time.

At the time of my conception my natural mother was around 21 (in 1968) and is unwilling to help as is her brother who are both alive. l have no living grandparents on my mothers side (grandfather l know was not aware of my birth but would have delighted if he had known this information - was told to me by his brother) Grandmother was aware but has since died before contact was established.

l have no idea why my birth mother who l have met is not willing to help, l have for last 17 years sent xmas cards new address cards with full contact details and never had a reply. Her marriage in 1974 to another person produced a son (my half brother) and the husband is also aware of me...but again wont help.

All answers help would be appreciated

Welcome to the boards Katherine.

Have PMd possible birth of Mother.

If your natural mother is still living, do you think that it is a good idea to have her full name on here please?

Hi, l without sounding negative, l have a 200 plus detailed connected family tree on ancestory.co.uk, and have all dates of birth, marrages etc going back years and including present day...l dont want to spend days and weeks putting it on here....Plus l already have her full name listed here as you mention. Its not Ann l am interested in, we have met 17 years ago and it all stopped there. She will not help me and there it goes cold. Its Michael l am interested in...
Many thanks

Katherine, just to add, I think you need to remove your mother's name -you don't need info about her and you are revealing personal details of her life to the world!
Re. Michael, if she won't tell you any more you are really up against it.
You need more clues don't you - an address for him, names of parents, siblings, even friends if their names are less common!
Has your mother told you why she is unwilling to help you? She might have very good reasons and it would help to know what they are.
Otherwise, are there any other relatives who might be willing to help - do you have surviving grandparents for example?
Jan

Hi Jan l have removed her name....not because l have any quarms about revealing her name...there is alot more behind the scence than be written here...and have no issue in naming her, however is is detracting from the person l do wish to find. Regards Michael, l have one side of the family who doesnt talk to the other more helpful side who say he went to Mexico in 1970...and there the trail goes cold...as for his family...no idea. Regards getting to the bottom and truth of why she wont help...as l say above in my ammended intro, since my intial meeting which lasted less than an hour in pub, when l was 27...she has refused all contact, of any description via any media...a blank, stone wall. You can lead a horse to water etc etc...She was 21 at the time, and a nurse, from a good normal background...it appears some people knew of the pregnancy and circumstances but those are the ones who wont talk...i simply dont understand the recultance!!
As for my adoptive parents...they are elderly and not willing to talk to me either...l am areminder for failed conception between them... l was given an adoption file when l was 18 and from then on in it was never to be mentioned... onwards and upwards!!
Thanks Jan

It doesn't actually matter whether or not YOU have any qualms about posting the lady's intimate details on this insecure site

The fact is it isn't allowed under GR's T&C's

I really do feel for you Katherine..........but the truth is, without knowing exactly where and when Michael Wilson (Such a common name unfortunately) was born, it's a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack.

I really do hope that someone connected to your family comes forward and provides you with answers and information that you need.

Good luck to you.

Prickles. x

HI Katherine.
I'm sorry to hear that your experience on finding your natural mother has been so difficult, it must have been very painful for you. But I suppose there isn't much to be done except keep those lines of communication open.
With no further info (I assume all you have is his name from the adoption file) I do not know what else you can do.
Have the more helpful family members any concept of where he was born? Or if he was married at any point?
If all else fails, and no extra information, you might need to bite the bullet and look for a birth for him, not for the faint-hearted with this name. If you decide to do this I would start with Bradford and work outwards.
Re. Bradford births for example - there are only 3 births 1942-46. Something of a long shot but if you have nothing else to go on, might be worth a try. All their mothers have reasonably unusual maiden names so looking for siblings wouldn't be too difficult, and they might have easier names to search for.

Freebmd is the site you need:

http://www.freebmd.org.uk/cgi/search.pl

Obviously this poses it's own problems as you would then be faced with the prospect of contacting siblings who might not know anything about you - or people totally unconnected to him who will wonder what on earth you are talking about!
If this proves to be fruitless then you could extend the search to 'West Riding of Yorkshire' though obviously this gives far more possibilities.

Jan

Your mother's reluctance to discuss this with you, or to have further contact, may be rooted in feelings of guilt.

She may feel that she could/should have kept you.............

On another note....she must have been living away from home, or her father would surely have noticed her condition.

Reggie, Many assumptions....No they both lived in the same area of Bradford... but dont assume he would have known...many a girl was Hidden away when they started to show...and many in their own houses....and that's asuming he even iknew she became pregnant....in 1968 things were very different to now and with no social media, email, internet and many on pay phones, it was quite easy to hide things....you assume she was in a steady relationship...even then people had one night stands....

Thanks Pickles and Brummiejan for your insight and for the links....its not been easy to keep digging and keep going over the years when the door has repeatedly slammed in your face...however....l am convinced that the truth never stays hidden and will come out eventually, the internet is a powerful medium and even today l have traced someone of Michaels age and name to Mexico, got an approx address and telephone number....just need courage to start the elimination process...Many thanks

Thanks Jan,

Found him
x

You never have! That's incredible.
Good luck, hope it goes well.
Jan

Yep, and that was a combination of Facebook and linkedin.....and the birth certificate l found matched his age group, and his mums suspected maiden name...

Katherine