Find Living Relatives

Penny ,

It may be that the adoption took place before 1975, but normally then you have to have compulsory counselling.
Maybe she did not know her birth name and detail, therefore, SS obtained these for her.
It is sometimes possible to obtain the orig birth cert, and if the birth is after 1975 it should be no problem, but without going through the channels some people have had problems.

Kemp
Why couldn't she send for it?

Numbers are not removed from the register -= they were born! That didnt change!

Of course its in her old name - thats the name her birth was registered in. her 'new' name will be in the adoption registers, not birth registers.She wasn't born twice!

Penny
Kemp - nothing would have prevented anybody getting a birth cert if they had the ref, adopted or not. Very often that is the way we find out people have been adopted in some cases

She couldnt send for it she had to go pick it up from social services who then asked her if she wanted councilling before they gave it to her she said no and they handed it over!!! The numbers have not been removed from the register but its in her old name not her adopted name

Kay I quite agree. It's not what is said it is the way it is said and some remarks could and should be worded in a more helpful and sympathetic way. Other remarks should not be voiced at all.

Also, please note, that this was only Cherry's sixth post. What a friendly welcome she had to the boards.

Good luck Cherry don't give up. Keep coming back here when you need help.

Wendy x

,,,,,,,you dont need mush,

there are proper channels--------**please use them**...is so dismissive and authorative...

hi cherry,
there are channels that could help you,,have you tried this direction.

I know which I'd prefer to have aimed at me.

Hi Cherry

Have you checked the trees on here for a possible matches with the family ? :O) The problem arise on these threads, as there are different perspectives on these adoption threads, those who have been directly involved in these issues tend to be more empathtic to the poster, we all realize that discretion is required, but you did nothing wrong Cherry.
Also sometimes things that are written sound abrupt, there is a big difference between a spoken word and a written one, whilst some people may think that things like smiling icons are childish they infere that the poster means what they say in a friendly way.

Cherry - what you have put it fine, absolutely fine, so dont reproach yourself.
I can see where you are coming from, dont loose heart.

Reggie - you reply is abrupt, and sound hurtful, its not nesseesary.
Cherry has used discression, hasn't walloped up a surname, just a forename....... in hope........

Kemp - nothing would have prevented anybody getting a birth cert if they had the ref, adopted or not. Very often that is the way we find out people have been adopted in some cases.

Cherry

Don't be so touchy - my posting wasn't 'unfriendly'. It was factual - polite -and constructive.

Just because I don't come over all mushy (which often seems terribly false) doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic

Have you added yourself to the national adoption contact register?

If not, give it a go.........

IF this person knows he was adopted, and is looking for blood relatives, he may well have added himself to the register

Hi Sheila

Kay was right in her statement.. "and the poster isnt asking for help just a hopeful chance *Stephen*may see it.". That's all I was thinking.

I must say I was quite stunned by the stark and unfriendly postings by Kempina and Reggie. This thread is called "Find Living Relatives" and that is what I am doing although I admit I cannot be 100% sure that Stephen is still alive since I don't know what happened to him after he was adopted. Other postings seem to put names and dob's and don't receive such strong reactions, i.e. http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards.page/board/living_relatives/thread/1298026

I am his cousin and I have wrestled with myself for over 10 years as to what to do about trying to find him - whether I should or shouldn't - but my own circumstances, i.e. putting off trying to find my birth father and then when I did do it, I found he had died a few years before and I was too late, has made me think that on balance I can't sit and do nothing.

I have his original birth certificate - which just says "adopted". There are things I can't put on this thread about the circumstances and really I suppose the chances of Stephen seeing my post here are very slim and anyway he probably isn't called Stephen anymore and its only the date of birth which would ring a bell if he doesn't know his birth name.

Anyway, thanks to those of you who have offered constructive comments and help.

Cherry

Do you know this persons surname at birth ? I presume you are related to them :-)
Have you checked on here to see if this person has a tree, or have you looked for his BM name in case he has also put this on here, there are several things you can do on in order to help your search, have you been in touch with the adoption agency at all ?
Kemp did she want to order her orig cert or her adoptive cert ? normally they ask for the parents names on the adoption cert.
The original birth entry is never removed from the records, however, sometimes when the adoption is granted, and the new name entered into the adoption register, there may be an amendment next to the orig entry although not always.

Kay I totally agree with you and can only imagine how the poster must feel and that they are trying every possible avenue to find this person. I helped a friend with a similar search. I think that if I was adopted or had had a child adopted I would do the same. It is easy to give advice when the giver has not been in the same situation and at times, without intending it to, the advice seems almost flippant. 'There but for the grace of God go I' springs to mind.

Wendy

Kemp,,,

your friend used a birth christian name & surname was know --yes?and would have known full details from her before issue......she was applying as an adoptee......

here we have just a christian name and dob,,,,,,,which means zilch to anyone,,,,,,,,only if your name was/is Stephen and born on that date and place......and as there would never be an earthly chance of ever getting data ID from that then its quite safe to say any ID is well and truely protected,

Rose the only thing I do know for sure is a friend was adopted and her original birth reg is still on the records just when you try to order the certificate they ask for parents names .....which then almost stops you getting it unless you are her!!!

She did get it from social services who intrestingly DID NOT ask her for her adoption cert or her passport ...therefore she showed NO ID

There is nothing to be gleaned from Cherrys post and if it concerns an adoption then a birth name and or date of birth is out of data protection radar,,,,so you are not wrong Rose.

..and its not known that the poster hasnt already taken steps to the proper channels to be met with high costs they charge which isnt always within a person budget and its not up to anyone else to interfere and tell them its what they must do.!!!

and the poster isnt asking for help just a hopeful chance *Stephen*may see it.

There are proper channels for this sort of enquiry - please try using them

Kemp I think in this instance it will be ok to put the date, as I assume it is an adoption where the surname and probably first name will have changed...and the date can't be used for fraudulent purposes?

I am sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong :-D

Cherry you cant put date of birth please remove

If you were born Stephen on 25th March 1946 at St. Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, I would like to hear from you.